Girlfriend going to Vegas with Girlfriend for 7 days..

[BA_23]

Hi everyone,

I am new here and well really feel abit daft posting what I am about to. My girlfriend (26) is going to Vegas with her 8 of her friends, including her twin sister. I know the majority of the girls and they all get on with me great and seem to be great. Four gitls in a relationship (including my gf and her sister) and five not in a relationship.

 

Last month my girlfriend and I spoke about Vegas and I said to her 'I accept it's Vegas and dudes will hit on you and flirting will likely happen'. This based on my experience of ex partners flirting and being open about it. She flat out said it was 'weird' I thought that would happen and I'd be ok with it. She then proceeded to say that she would not entertain flirting as she would not be happy if I did.

 

So I was like ok, but she said if the girls and her get invited to party with guys at their place, that she would. Which I said I would be uncomfy with that. Her response was 'nothing would happen in Ibiza I did it with the girls and it was just a laugh.' Hmm so ok I was like yeah I guess. Then 10-11 days ago I was like so now I have met the girls, which of the single ones do you think will hook up. She responded by saying 'what, no one will, maybe someone might kiss but that is it, I don't know what kind of girls holiday you think we are going on.'

 

So I was like ok, and she asked me do you think I am going to cheat on you? To which I responded if I think about it properly, no I don't. She responded by saying, well that is good as if you did we would have a problem, as I wouldn't do that. She also has said 'why would I go Vegas, hook up with someone and seven days later come back to nothing at home with you?'.

 

However, I just got this insecurity/gut feeling something will go wrong. I can't shift the thought out of my head. I have an awful lot going on at the moment including a court case over my sisters murder last year and my dad only passed 10 months earlier. So I guess I just expect the worse but it's wearing me out.

 

Since Day 1 I have encouraged her to have a great time when shes goes at the end of this month, I even paid some of the holiday for her and got her clothes, bag etc for her birthday to use on the trip. It was only yesterday she was saying how she is excited for us to start saving for a house from next month and about the holiday we are going on next year.

 

I don't really know what I am expecting, just an opinion on what I have written and perhaps just some advice on how to handle my girlfriend going to Vegas.

 

 

Does everyone hook up/cheat in Vegas? Are guys always hitting on girls?

Edited August 22, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Fix spacing

[Sunlight72]

I can certainly understand your general concern. Single women, dating women, Vegas for a week, yep.

 

I've been there several times for fun, on my own.

 

Different people can have completely, completely different experiences there. Some quite pedestrian, some totally the other way.

 

I would say in this case it's good she's going with her sister who also has a boyfriend. Good actually that she's going with so many other women, as they all know she's got a boyfriend back home and she will act normal with them around. Good she's talking with you about saving for a house together, etc. From what you wrote I think you don't have anything to worry over.

 

I'm really sorry to hear of your sister's murder and court case. That is beyond awful. My sincere condolences. Also, I'm sorry you lost your father recently.

 

I would encourage you to now start spending just a little time with a regular friend of yours, so you have contact and then can chat or visit them when your girlfriend is gone. Also, the biggest problem is going to be your imagination. She'll be busy hanging out with her friends & driving around, walking around, seeing shows, eating at restaurants and so on. It will be a bit unpredictable when & how often she will get to her phone to text or call, etc. Do your best to send one message or leave one voice mail at a time, and then forget about it until she responds.

 

I don't think there will be anything going on for you to worry over, so wish her a fun trip, chat when she has time to chat (while she's there), and other wise lean on some other friends for support and company with your day to day life until she gets back.

 

And - do a small something nice (and relaxing) when she gets back to let her know you took a little time (l.i.t.t.l.e.) to plan a welcome home moment while you missed her.

[schlumpy]

It's a test of faith.

 

If you are in tune with her you will know something is off. It's all in the small things.

 

When she comes back, if you have the best sex of your relationship for a few days then get the radar up and running and get back with us.

 

Trust her until she proves to you that you can't.

[kendahke]

Does everyone hook up/cheat in Vegas?

 

No. Stop letting their marketing phrase trigger you.

 

I go to Vegas to visit my BFF from college all the time and I'm not there cheating or hooking up with anyone and neither is she--and she lives there--so no, not everyone does it.

 

People already predisposed to cheat will cheat. Period. Is she predisposed to cheat? Was she dating someone else when you got with her and she just monkeybranched over to you? Then you might have problems if that's the case...

 

Are guys always hitting on girls?

 

If they're hetero, yes. You don't talk to your boys about it?

 

Men hit on women in every 50 state of this union. Nothing new there.

[Tamfana]

Does everyone hook up/cheat in Vegas? Are guys always hitting on girls?

 

No and no, not always. Trust your girlfriend.

[BaileyB]

Maybe I’m just old and boring... but I went to Vegas with six girlfriends for my 30th birthday. Nobody hit on us and none of my friends hooked up with anyone...

 

It is possible. Sometimes the girls just want to hang out with, the girls.

 

Try not to get yourself all worked up unless you know there is something to worry about...

[spiritedaway2003]

Does everyone hook up/cheat in Vegas? Are guys always hitting on girls?

 

I suspect you might be overthinking this. Have you visited Vegas? I know it's got a bad rep for "What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas" but it depends on what you do there. If she could party here and not cheat, she could party there and not cheat.

 

I've visited Vegas 3 times and it was fun (not in the partying sense, since I'm not a party gal). I went to watch shows, eat at the buffets and check out the strip. Unless she gave you reasons to, give her a little trust.

 

And I'm sorry for the loss of your sister and Dad. It takes time to deal with those trauma and losses. (((HUGS)))

[TheFinalWord]

We don't know you're girlfriend, but going with some of the other advice listed...

 

Does she have a history of cheating?

 

Did she cheat with you?

 

Does she get out of control when she drinks?

 

Does she act upset when you go on vacations with a group of your guy friends?

 

What does she plan on doing when she's there?

 

I never worry about things like this because if someone is going to cheat, they are going to cheat. If she goes there and cheats, it was an action that was bound to happen at some point.

 

I would not bring it up again and I would not text her every hour when she is there. You need to find something to do to keep yourself busy so you can resist the urge to act controlling. She may end up ruining something good.

[Allupinnit]

Who the hell can spend 7 days in Vegas??

[BA_23]

When she comes back, if you have the best sex of your relationship for a few days then get the radar up and running and get back with us.

Are you saying if we have the best sex of our relationship when comes back, then that's a worry?

Edited August 22, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[BA_23]

I would encourage you to now start spending just a little time with a regular friend of yours, so you have contact and then can chat or visit them when your girlfriend is gone. Also, the biggest problem is going to be your imagination. She'll be busy hanging out with her friends & driving around, walking around, seeing shows, eating at restaurants and so on. It will be a bit unpredictable when & how often she will get to her phone to text or call, etc. Do your best to send one message or leave one voice mail at a time, and then forget about it until she responds....

Thank you for getting back to me - I am lucky to have good contact with friends, so will be able to keep busy just fine. She actually lives with her sister and I know her sister and her sisters boyfriend really well, along with the other couple they live with. So we all very much get on really well.

 

She has told me their plans, grand canyon, old town, pool parties x3, night swim, clubs, and walking around the malls etc. I am 8hours ahead over here so when I wake up she will be on her night out kind of thing. I won't hound her though, and I took the day off for when she get's back, just so we can chill. Get her some flowers and just let the day go and chat about what she got upto.

 

I really find it difficult for her to be a cheat, she has been cheated on before and yeah she is good person. How many times has that been said and then Vegas happens?

Edited August 22, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[h0000]

Why do you have so little faith in people?

[BA_23]

No. Stop letting their marketing phrase trigger you....

 

Thank you for getting back to me - I think it is the marketing that get's me. You read about Vegas changing your desires and the place dripping in drugs, sex and gambling. She isn't into any of the three other than sex, hopefully just with me haha.

 

She has been cheated on, but she has never cheated and she was dating guys on and off when I met her, but she stopped seeing them casually to start a relationship with me.

Edited August 22, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[BA_23]

Maybe I’m just old and boring... but I went to Vegas with six girlfriends for my 30th birthday. Nobody hit on us and none of my friends hooked up with anyone...

 

It is possible. Sometimes the girls just want to hang out with, the girls.

 

Try not to get yourself all worked up unless you know there is something to worry about...

 

 

Yeah they are going for a friends 30th, two of the girls have been Vegas twice already. Her sister did say to me that is going to be such a girly girly holiday that boys won't even play a part to those in a relationship. So I guess yeah try not to get worked up, thanks for your reply.

[BA_23]

I suspect you might be overthinking this. Have you visited Vegas? I know it's got a bad rep for "What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas" but it depends on what you do there. If she could party here and not cheat, she could party there and not cheat.

 

I've visited Vegas 3 times and it was fun (not in the partying sense, since I'm not a party gal). I went to watch shows, eat at the buffets and check out the strip. Unless she gave you reasons to, give her a little trust.

 

And I'm sorry for the loss of your sister and Dad. It takes time to deal with those trauma and losses. (((HUGS)))

 

 

I have never been Vegas, I have had friends who have been. Hear different stories from them all. We give each other freedom to do whatever we want and she has been places since weve been together partying without me and that has been fine.

 

 

 

Thank for you for condolences and your reply!

[BA_23]

We don't know you're girlfriend, but going with some of the other advice listed.......

 

Does she have a history of cheating? No - she has been cheated on.

 

Did she cheat with you? Nope

 

Does she get out of control when she drinks? Nope - goes into her own bubble, maybe could get a little wild.

 

Does she act upset when you go on vacations with a group of your guy friends? She would not mind.

 

What does she plan on doing when she's there? Grand canyon, few shows, old town, x3 pool parties, nigh swim, night clubs, see the strip.

 

 

I wouldn't message her much, if anything at all, id prefer to let her message when she is ready. I will likely wake up and say 'just woke up, hope your having a great night' as i am 8 hours ahead.

Edited August 22, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[BA_23]

They are going to a few pool parties, night swims, clubs, the canyon, old town and just explore in general. They are heavy on the partying come labor day weekend fri-sun.

[central]

Does everyone hook up/cheat in Vegas? Are guys always hitting on girls?

 

No. And again, no.

[Veronica73]

I'm so sorry about your sister and dad. That's really hard. Particularly your sister being murdered. It's awful.

 

It doesn't sound to me like you have anything to worry about. You're probably feeling this way because of all the stress that you are going through. That takes a toll on you.

[BA_23]

I'm so sorry about your sister and dad. That's really hard. Particularly your sister being murdered. It's awful.

 

It doesn't sound to me like you have anything to worry about. You're probably feeling this way because of all the stress that you are going through. That takes a toll on you.

 

 

Yeah it's difficult, almost expecting the light you have found to be then taken away. Court is the second day into her trip, so I just keep thinking if she cheats and the plea is not guilty, then I don't know how ill cope. A trial and a break up.

[Veronica73]

It's going to be okay. It doesn't sound to me like she is going to cheat. And even if she did, which I don't see any reason to think she would...you'd get through it. If that's the kind of person she is, then she would have done it anyway. I don't see any reason to think she would cheat though.

[BA_23]

It's going to be okay. It doesn't sound to me like she is going to cheat. And even if she did, which I don't see any reason to think she would...you'd get through it. If that's the kind of person she is, then she would have done it anyway. I don't see any reason to think she would cheat though.

 

 

Thank you for reply again Veronica, i deep down know she isn't the cheating type. The FEAR though is immense for some reason, we are happy as larry as far as im aware. She want's to spend a little less in Vegas for us to go somewhere within UK when shes back. Just the fear.. but thanks again Veronica.

[kendahke]

Who the hell can spend 7 days in Vegas??

Me.

 

 

ten characters.

[The Outlaw]

Unless she's given you reason before to worry, don't sweat it. You've got to trust her. And just because you have that gut feeling something will happen doesn't mean that it will.

[Veronica73]

When was the trial date set, and when did she plan this vacation? Does it bother you that she is going to Vegas instead of being with you for the trial?