New girl seems interested, but is this a little gameplaying on her part?

[BJP1991]

Hey everyone,

 

Girl I took on a first date last week hit me up two days after the date. Asked me how XYZ went for me over the weekend. We exchanged a couple messages and I asked her for a second date, which she happily accepted.

 

This girl was showing high interest on the date, kissed me back passionately when I dropped her off at home for the night, and initiated with me first after our date. She also was positive and enthusiastic in accepting my second date offer as well for later this week.

 

However, the issue/question I see is: She takes ages to reply to my texts. Usually 4-24 hours. She even did this initially, before our first date as well.

 

For the men and women out there - do you think a girl like this is doing a little gameplaying by waiting so long to text me back, and when she does, its positive, happy, and more than willing to accept my dates?

 

I put a lot of value on my time, so if she were not being acceptive/positive in going on another date, I probably would just write her off as not-interested. However she is willing and ready for the next date, despite taking ages to reply.

 

 

I have seen this before - where a girl who is interested and willing to accept dates will intentionally delay their responses. Then. over the course of 2-3 dates they tighten it up and it becomes more normal-ish and not so gamey. I know everyone is busy and whatnot, however a full day later to reply is a little silly. Especially in this day-in-age, where people my age (28) are with their phones 24/7.

 

Thoughts? For context, I never text or call unless it's to arrange the next date. So it isn't like I have been blowing up her phone either.

Edited August 19, 2019 by BJP1991

[crispytoast]

People around your age are glued to their phones 24/7. I guarantee that she usually sees your messages shortly after she receives them. Why does she take so long to respond? A variety of answers come to my mind, in no particular order of likelihood:

 

1. She is playing games, as you think.
   
2. She gets giddy when you text her and overthinks her response.
   
3. It is her attachment style.
   
4. She is watching a Sharknado marathon
   
5. She is busy with something and forgets to text you back until later.
   

Most of the time when I don't respond for a long time, it's usually because I was busy, checked the message and then forgot about it. This has definitely happened with women I am interested in, oft to their chagrine. It's nothing personal but not everyone sees it this way.

 

Anyway, she seems into you by how she is going out on dates with you, so I wouldn't look into it too much.

[SumGuy]

...Most of the time when I don't respond for a long time, it's usually because I was busy, checked the message and then forgot about it. This has definitely happened with women I am interested in, oft to their chagrine. It's nothing personal but not everyone sees it this way.

 

Anyway, she seems into you by how she is going out on dates with you, so I wouldn't look into it too much.

 

 

Pretty much this.

[PRW]

Got off the needy texting.

 

If you keep making dates like you ought to be there won't be anything to text about.

[kendahke]

Girl I took on a first date last week

She's not glued to her phone like you are. Also, she barely knows you. Why would she prioritize you after only one date? Just because you've invested heavily in her doesn't mean she owes you devotion after one date.

 

Tell you what, bring up the fact that you don't like how long it takes for her to respond to your texts and see if she's willing to change her tack. She may be completely oblivious to that because she's not hanging onto your next word like you are hers... and you also might not be the only guy she's talking to---since she's, you know, not your girlfriend and all...

[JEG88]

I tend to notice that if you match her texting energy, a woman becomes more consistent in how timely she responds. If she takes a few hours to respond, you should do the same. She will start responding in a more predictable manner if you're consistent as well. This has been my experience, anyway.

 

Maybe it signifies that you're placing the same kind of priority on her, as she is on you. Responding in seconds or minutes - in this early stage, anyway - comes off as desperate. Perception is everything early on.