elaine567 Posted August 19, 2019 Posted August 19, 2019 We text sometimes, but definitely not every day and we can go on for 2-3 weeks without talking. Doesn’t I don’t love her or wouldn’t give her my kidney if needed. Not all relationships are the same. OK, but you are not in a supposed romantic relationship with your friend... This relationship here is one sided and one sided is never good. She keeps making excuses for him to us and to herself. He is busy, he is a workaholic, he is an introvert, he is not that kind of a guy...
LoverOfDance Posted August 19, 2019 Posted August 19, 2019 Cinderella and Lexxi, do you think a man who doesn’t want to talk to you everyday will one day want to live with you??? Even if you somehow maneuver your way into his house, I honestly doubt that “forever” is what he is looking for with you. I know the above sounds like a stretch but someone who doesn’t want to talk to you everyday doesn’t like you like you think they do. They like you, don’t get me wrong but not the way you think. They have the means to reach out AND they choose not to. Tell yourself whatever you want to tell yourself. You can’t see things for what they are because you are the one in the relationship. Anyways, like I’ve said countless times, things can change so i’m not going to advise anyone to leave. Do what you think is best for yourselves. 1
Curiousroxy86 Posted August 19, 2019 Posted August 19, 2019 lexxi assuming he will not contact you the way you want him to can you accept that? It’s okay if you don’t know the answer to that right now You may have to temporarily accept and see how you feel Cinderella found a way to accept and cope Others can not accept that type of relationship I personally wouldn’t date a guy for long that goes mia during the week but then again I don’t do long distance of any kind either and so it wouldn’t have gotten as far as you and this guy did concerning exclusivity and meeting each other kids. I would have chosen a guy that was communicative. And if he switched up after exclusivity it would have been an issue for me simply because that is important to me. I don’t date guys who are not communicative in between seeing each other. But others are happy to only connect on the weekends and no phone communication during the week. So again no right or wrong. I’m just curious to know if you are willing to accept him not initiating contact in between seeing each other
hippychick3 Posted August 19, 2019 Posted August 19, 2019 I can’t imagine being in a relationship with someone I love and not communicating daily. I’ve never been in a good relationship without a daily check in of some kind. If someone really cares about you, they’re going to think of you at least once a day in the busiest of circumstances and want to know how you are. In 6 years of being with my partner, he’s never gone a single day without communicating...from date one. I think this is an situation of incompatibility. You need more and there is NOTHING wrong with that. 1
Ruby Slippers Posted August 19, 2019 Posted August 19, 2019 He's told you it doesn't come to him naturally. I think you're going to have to either accept that this is how he is and learn to be happy with it, or accept it's not meeting your needs and move on. I don't know a single person who's been with their partner for years who says everything's perfect. They learn to accept what the person is offering and not dwell on what they're not. Nobody's perfect. It's always something. Not texting as much as you'd like, in the context of how good things are otherwise, seems pretty minor to me.
c1nderella Posted August 20, 2019 Posted August 20, 2019 I can’t imagine being in a relationship with someone I love and not communicating daily. I’ve never been in a good relationship without a daily check in of some kind. If someone really cares about you, they’re going to think of you at least once a day in the busiest of circumstances and want to know how you are. In 6 years of being with my partner, he’s never gone a single day without communicating...from date one. I think this is an situation of incompatibility. You need more and there is NOTHING wrong with that. I don’t think it’s incompatibility it’s just differences in needs ...sometimes you have to compromise if you really want someone in your life. Differences in lifestyle for example, or likes ..those are things you compromise with your partner. There is no perfect match out there ...no relationship is absolute. You either accept the person as they are or you move on...if you’re in love with that person it’s very hard to let go so you just accept things. You always need to have your own independent life away from your partner..your partner is not your “other half” ..you are a whole he is a whole ..when you come together you make TWO people and share your adventures with each other. Just because the other person isn’t texting Or calling doesn’t mean they don’t care. There’s no need for constant communication to feel loved or wanted. I rather have my man physically tell me to my face he loves me and show me with actions he loves than he text me that. We all have different opinions on this and I used to be the one to think I needed constant communication but I’ve learned that makes the relationship end faster and makes me miss my significant other less. Just saying.
LoverOfDance Posted August 20, 2019 Posted August 20, 2019 C1nderella, what you don’t understand is that, when a man treats you that way, it’s not because it’s the way he is. It’s not about personality. It’s about how he feels about you. When he meets someone he is HEAD OVER HEELS for, he will not go a whole day or even days without checking in to see how the love of his life is doing. It’s not about “texting”. It’s about CHECKING IN. I understand that you are in love so it’s hard to leave but don’t paint the situation to be what it is not. Also, remember that many men will tell us women what we want to hear so that they don’t have to endure our nagging. I also find it hard to believe that a man who doesn’t want to talk to you everyday will one day genuinely want to live with you. If you live together, he’ll have to talk to you everyday. How is he going to handle that? Anyways, whatever happens in you and op’s relationship later in the future, remember that you made a choice to stay. You could have chosen the opposite but YOU chose to stay. Remember that. Good luck to you both. 1
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