Miserable Posted September 27, 2005 Posted September 27, 2005 Hello, all. This is the first time I have posted on this site, although I come to it from time to time when I feel lost...now I feel I have to speak up and try to get some help. Thanks to all of you for your thoughts in advance. I've been married for three years to a wonam with significant mental problems. She is a recovering anorexic, all through which I have been there for her (before and after we were married). She comes from a large family in which she and her siblings were not allowed to express "bad" emotions like anger, anxiety, unhappiness, etc. Unfortunately, my wife also sufferes from many various but vague and unidentified health problems, including nausea, headaches, constant tiredness, etc. She's on several different medications for depression, including clonopin and prozac. She also takes thyroid medication. Almost every day, she has some sort of compaint about her health. She's ben cat-scanned (no cancer or tumors). Her therapist has told her that she seems to sometimes express her anxiety through her body by having various "illnesses" (nausea, etc.) that clear up later on when whatever need she has is met. All of this I knew about when I married her (except the expression through nausea thing) and I was prepared to accept it, as long as she stayed on the road to recovery. The problem then, and which has worsened over time, is her anger. She has told me that she feels she must be perfect, and that when she gets sick or has "bad feelings" that she wasn't allowed to express growing up, she gets angry at herself. So the typical scenario becomes something like she gets "sick", then she gets angry because she is sick, and I get the brunt of it. She says she is "working on it", but as I am typing this she is "sick" again...this time she's tired and has no energy (she's been to doctors for years and has had tons of tests...they always turn up negative). I told her that she needs to have some time to herself to sort out her issues in her life right now...I cannot go home to her like this again. I don't even want to go home tonight, but I have nowhere else to go. At times, I actually hate her for this. I want so badly to be there for her and support her, but how do you do that for someone who's first response to adversity is anger? It's poisonous and it's killing me emotionally...I find myself getting angry and snapping at her. I am thinking about leaving her for good...it just isn't working and my love for her is a ghost of what it once was. (no kids) Your thoughts are appreciated greatly.
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