Falcon554 Posted September 27, 2005 Posted September 27, 2005 Ok it started 4 months ago when my wife told me we needed to seperate. Right before this I had a colon cancer scare and I relalized what a a-hole I had been to her and wrote her a letter that I was sorry for the last 19 years. So I moved out to my sisters house, a week later my wife tells me she is having an affair with a 28 year old married man. (I will give her this she saw the guy one time then seperated, she could of kept it going for months) Must tell you this I was my wifes only one for 21 years. Met her at 16 married her at 18 and she had never been with anyone else. She was also sexual molested at age 8-10 by her father. I know what a mess. Well lets see, I moved out she went nuts! Tattos, going out, seeing this guy. And calling me saying how depressed she was. Well long story short her is is 4 months later, the affair ended badly, his wife found out and all hell broke loose. Before this tho I moved back into the house for a month and 1/2 while I was there the affair had stoped. We spent hours on hours talking, started dateing again, became friends again. Well he called back a week before I moved back out. I know its confusing. Bottom line, is this. We are know good friends, the affair is over and done, I live by myself, she has filed for divorce but now says give her some time to figure out what she wants. She fell for this kid, but then had to learn the hard way what a jerk he really was. I held her hand thru all of it. She is in the middle of a mid life crisis, but I know she still loves me she says she does but just cant be married right now. She is honest to me, she said I will not come back untill I can look you in the eye and tell you I wont cheat on you. I must tell you I ignored this woman for 5 years before all of this, computer games took ahold of me . But her we are 4 months later, we talk every day 3 to 7 times aday. I see my daughter anytime I want, we help eachother out with money if we need to. I love her with all my heart. And im so sick on how I treated her in the past. Not sure what to do now. She wants to see eachother, go out have fun like we never had before and see what will come of it. Im ok with that I just dont trust her anymore for anything That sucks.
suegail Posted September 28, 2005 Posted September 28, 2005 You're handling this amazingly well. It's also great that you two are close as you are through all this. This has to make it easier on your daughter, though I'm sure it's confusing for her to see her mom going through this mid-life crisis. I think it's a good thing for you to go ahead and continue seeing one another and get the enjoyment in you missed out on before and see how things progress. I know it's hard to have total trust after all that's happened, but that may change once this time of mid-life crisis has passed, and hopefully it will. Remember that there is a past history with you that makes it hard for her to trust as well and during those years when you were shutting her out she probably became incredibly lonely and she's just finally responding to that experience. Take her out. Show her a good time. And continue to show her respect and love. Best wishes...
Author Falcon554 Posted September 28, 2005 Author Posted September 28, 2005 You're handling this amazingly well. It's also great that you two are close as you are through all this. This has to make it easier on your daughter, though I'm sure it's confusing for her to see her mom going through this mid-life crisis. I think it's a good thing for you to go ahead and continue seeing one another and get the enjoyment in you missed out on before and see how things progress. I know it's hard to have total trust after all that's happened, but that may change once this time of mid-life crisis has passed, and hopefully it will. Remember that there is a past history with you that makes it hard for her to trust as well and during those years when you were shutting her out she probably became incredibly lonely and she's just finally responding to that experience. Take her out. Show her a good time. And continue to show her respect and love. Best wishes... Yea we talked tonight, she said she was sorry shes not in love with me but she does love me. I try so hard not to push her and well it makes he mad when I do, its only been 4 months and 2 weeks since she broke it off with the affair guy. Guess it will take time to see where this goes its just so hard when you love someone so much. Thanks for the reply
Recommended Posts