Girl posted Selfies/Nudes on Instagram

[elaine567]

Are these nude pics new or has she been doing this for years?

 

You say she is not trying to be an IG model but the posed and nude pics say otherwise, no?

 

I kind of get the topless pics on the beach, on holiday.

"This me, on my holiday... take it or leave it."

 

But the posed sexy shots are different...

[L90]

Are these nude pics new or has she been doing this for years?

 

You say she is not trying to be an IG model but the posed and nude pics say otherwise, no?

 

I kind of get the topless pics on the beach, on holiday.

"This me, on my holiday... take it or leave it."

 

But the posed sexy shots are different...

 

The topless pictures are new. The only other one is from a couple of years ago with her boyfriend in bed.

 

The posed pictures are not in the Instagram model ilk. She’s also never expressed any type of interest in anything even related to being a Instagram model or influencer.

[Rayce]

No I wasn’t assuming you have been posting nudes online for years.

I simply responded to you posting nudes as a 58 yr old only. And let’s face it , it’s not on instagram. You and I both know that.

It’s not clearly getting you a relationship so why do you do it?

 

Every post here gets judged because every poster asks for judgement. That’s the point of the forum!! People cope well with positive judgement and negative. With the exception of a few receiving negative judgement when they expected positive! And then they slam people for being “judgemental”?

 

And when you post a nude online , do you expect a reaction and response? Because that is asking for judgement , isn’t it?

 

I personally am NOT saying she is undateable because she posts nudes.

But she is reducing her chances with many ,because many men will consider her undateable for it.

That’s not my doing or my judgement.

 

I think you are assuming the worst... and I am not sure why you are all hung up on my age but you really clueless about who I am and why I do the things I do. Yes you are saying that she is updateable because she posts nudes and yes you are being judgmental.

[Rayce]

The topless pictures are new. The only other one is from a couple of years ago with her boyfriend in bed.

 

The posed pictures are not in the Instagram model ilk. She’s also never expressed any type of interest in anything even related to being a Instagram model or influencer.

 

I repeat... Did you ask her why she was posting? Or are you going to let a bunch of internet strangers tell you she is trash for doing it. Honestly you can have no clue what others are posting on the internet so that really is a bad comparisons.

[Rayce]

If I were you, I'd find myself an intelligent girlfriend with a little more class than this one.

 

Posting nudes on the internet does not define a person's intelligent.

Edited August 20, 2019 by Rayce

[Lisa_Lisa]

In my view, I feel that Instagram has become a place for potential business opportunities. For instance, I took a selfie and was wearing an ordinary watch and I got a DM for a watch branding company and that they'd like to work with me. I'm assuming I'd wear their watches and show them off to my followers (I have 1k+ followers). I've seen women looking awesome in regular mirror selfies and I've seen their followers list grow so essentially your girl may not be "trying" to become an instagram model, but the potential for branding is there. I also think because a lot of pictures in that platform now look like real magazine covers photos, there is some pressure to look as well as that. If she were posting that kind of stuff on Facebook then I'd think it'd be a little weird because there is no possibility there, you're just showing off to your friends and family, but Instagram is a whole world of opportunity.

 

 

 

I don't think she's wrong for posting selfies of herself looking spectacular. And I bet most of the dm's she gets are from thirsty, annoying men who are too afraid to talk to women in real life so I wouldn't even worry about that. If she chooses you and has a good time with you and gives you all her attention and you feel she is being genuine then that must count for something.

 

 

 

In today's society, men think a woman wearing a short skirt on the street is just asking for it. So we're still very primitive in our thinking.

 

 

 

Take all this advice with a grain of salt, but ultimately you should casually ask her how she feels when she takes a picture like that and posts it. See what her answer is and make a decision based on that.

[L90]

I repeat... Did you ask her why she was posting? Or are you going to let a bunch of internet strangers tell you she is trash for doing it. Honestly you can have no clue what others are posting on the internet so that really is a bad comparisons.

 

No I have not asked her why she posted the pictures. How exactly is that conversation supposed to go?

 

Even if I were to bring it up, my guess would be she would say something along the lines of because she wanted to. I doubt she either has the insight or would admit if it were the case that she does it for the attention/validation/DMs.

 

I’m not so sure she’s relationship material unfortunately. I typically don’t feel a connection with girls that I date but I do with her. But when I think about it...

 

Why not post pictures on something like Instagram with her top on? She could easily still look great, show what a great time she had, what an awesome life she lives, with her top on. I find a lot of Instagram stuff “thirsty” or attention seeking to begin with. All these girls with their posed curated pictures. But to take it up a notch and post topless pictures, there’s really no other reason to do that other than to garner as much attention and validation as you can.

 

As I said before as well, all of my friends are stand up guys. Their girlfriends are awesome and I truly like all of them. None of my friends SOs would post pictures like this. If my sister did this, I would kill her.

 

I’m all for being a free spirit, I really like that about her. You want to be topless your entire vacation? Go for it. But I think posting it on social media is not for yourself, it’s a pretty obvious scream for attention. That concerns me in terms of being relationship material. Why does she need that attention? What happens if we were together and she posted things like that and guys are contacting her? Does that type of person ignore these guys or does she get a thrill from the attention and validation and want to keep that going?

[Fekenaws]

Yeah, I wouldn't be comfortable with it either, I had a gf a while back who did that but once it got serious and she brought it up to me I definitively said it makes me uncomfortable and that I didn't like it. The next day she told me it was attractive how I was protective of her and she stopped until we eventually broke up 2 years later cause of distance.

Edited August 20, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
language

[Lisa_Lisa]

No I have not asked her why she posted the pictures. How exactly is that conversation supposed to go?

 

Even if I were to bring it up, my guess would be she would say something along the lines of because she wanted to. I doubt she either has the insight or would admit if it were the case that she does it for the attention/validation/DMs.

 

I’m not so sure she’s relationship material unfortunately. I typically don’t feel a connection with girls that I date but I do with her. But when I think about it...

 

Why not post pictures on something like Instagram with her top on? She could easily still look great, show what a great time she had, what an awesome life she lives, with her top on. I find a lot of Instagram stuff “thirsty” or attention seeking to begin with. All these girls with their posed curated pictures. But to take it up a notch and post topless pictures, there’s really no other reason to do that other than to garner as much attention and validation as you can.

 

As I said before as well, all of my friends are stand up guys. Their girlfriends are awesome and I truly like all of them. None of my friends SOs would post pictures like this. If my sister did this, I would kill her.

 

I’m all for being a free spirit, I really like that about her. You want to be topless your entire vacation? Go for it. But I think posting it on social media is not for yourself, it’s a pretty obvious scream for attention. That concerns me in terms of being relationship material. Why does she need that attention? What happens if we were together and she posted things like that and guys are contacting her? Does that type of person ignore these guys or does she get a thrill from the attention and validation and want to keep that going?

 

 

You said you feel a connection to her more so than any other woman you've met. Wouldn't it be better to have a conversation, albeit a casual one about why she's posted those types of pictures? Here are some examples:

 

 

Noticed you've got some really sexy pictures on your Instagram - wait for a response

 

Based on her answer, you can say out loud she must have a lot of DM's from random guys - wait for a response

 

How does that make you feel? - wait for a response

 

You can say "it makes me uncomfortable" (because this is how you really feel) - wait for a response

 

If she's unrepentant or unremorseful then dump her right then and there, but don't dump her out of the blue based on your own projections (as right on the money as they may seem).

 

 

Who knows maybe she didn't even know what she's doing is seen as too provocative or maybe she likes you enough to say she'll stop and you guys can work from there.

[crispytoast]

Americans are so sensitive about nudity and sexuality.

[kendahke]

No I have not asked her why she posted the pictures. How exactly is that conversation supposed to go?

 

Why? Are you scared she may accuse you of being judgmental?

 

"Is there a reason why you post nude pictures of yourself on IG? Is there someone in particular who you want to see your photos? Would it make a difference to you if I told you that I'm uncomfortable with you being my girlfriend and you doing this?"

[Logo]

 

Pull her hair, smack her ass, make her call you daddy.

 

It's getting hot in here :lmao:

 

 

Maybe bondage will help with her need for validation.

 

 

 

 

 

Ok, the bottom line is this, are you looking to have fun and keep it that way or are you the type who is looking for a stable relationship with a stable woman? Stable doesn't need to mean boring or tame. You can have a stable relationship and do all kinds of wild and fun things together.

Edited August 21, 2019 by Logo

[L90]

Why? Are you scared she may accuse you of being judgmental?

 

"Is there a reason why you post nude pictures of yourself on IG? Is there someone in particular who you want to see your photos? Would it make a difference to you if I told you that I'm uncomfortable with you being my girlfriend and you doing this?"

 

Well she’s not my girlfriend so I don’t really have a say in this sort of thing. And like I said even if I were to ask her she’d likely say something along the lines of “because I like them” or whatever. Even if she recognizes she does it for the attention I would imagine 99% of people would have a hard time admitting that.

 

It's getting hot in here :lmao:

 

 

Maybe bondage will help with her need for validation.

 

 

 

 

 

Ok, the bottom line is this, are you looking to have fun and keep it that way or are you the type who is looking for a stable relationship with a stable woman? Stable doesn't need to mean boring or tame. You can have a stable relationship and do all kinds of wild and fun things together.

 

Unfortunately I’m not sure I can keep things just casual and fun with this girl. I’ve really never felt a connection like this and definitely am starting to develop feelings here. I’m just not sure she’s ready for a relationship. She just turned 25 earlier this year, doesn’t have a very stable occupation situation, still relies on her parents monetarily for things. Beyond that, the Instagram is a red flag for me. As I said, none of my friends SOs have posts like her or would post things like her. If you want to show off how good looking you are and how cool your life is, go for it, but do it in a way that doesn’t scream I’m posting this for male attention. While she might come off as confident in her looks and body, why does she need the validation? She probably gets a lot of DMs from these pictures which I would never know about. I think it speaks to something deeper with this girl that I’m just not sure is right

[boymommy]

I would talk to her about it in a very non-judgemental, non-controlling way. To each their own but I am not sure I would be okay with a guy posting nude pics of himself on Instagram. Mainly because I dont want people looking at them and its something I’d personally never do so its a compatibility thing.

[SumGuy]

Well she’s not my girlfriend so I don’t really have a say in this sort of thing. And like I said even if I were to ask her she’d likely say something along the lines of “because I like them” or whatever. Even if she recognizes she does it for the attention I would imagine 99% of people would have a hard time admitting that.

Well since your not her boyfriend she'd be right to say it's none of your business or give you some blow off answer.

 

 

Second, don't ask this question unless there is an answer that would make you OK with it and that you'd believe. Don't suggest answers. If you can't think of an answer you accept then don't ask and don't move on with seeing her. Your wasting her time and yours, this will only come up again later.

 

 

Unfortunately I’m not sure I can keep things just casual and fun with this girl. I’ve really never felt a connection like this and definitely am starting to develop feelings here.

You should check that. A connection should extend to all of her not just the parts you like or what you think she is. These photos seem very disturbing to you (not saying that is wrong) in the face of that is it really connection or just desire?

 

 

Beyond that, the Instagram is a red flag for me. As I said, none of my friends SOs have posts like her or would post things like her. If you want to show off how good looking you are and how cool your life is, go for it, but do it in a way that doesn’t scream I’m posting this for male attention. While she might come off as confident in her looks and body, why does she need the validation? She probably gets a lot of DMs from these pictures which I would never know about. I think it speaks to something deeper with this girl that I’m just not sure is right

That whole paragraph says to me you are connected to what you want her to be, are putting on her your view of what she should be. That is, you really desire her and want her to change to fit what you want. That you think a logical explanation based on your world view (even if 100% correct) will change her. Dream on.

 

 

I believe you want someone to tell you there is nothing to worry about, that everyone does this, but from your own experience you know that isn't true.

 

 

I seriously doubt she sees anything odd about it if she has been doing it for a while. I'd suspect she'll say she knows a lot of people who do this.

 

 

You may have to admit to yourself as hot and fun as she is, you really are not compatible in some fundamental aspects of your world outlook.

[kendahke]

if I were to ask her she’d likely say something along the lines of “because I like them” or whatever.

Then there is your answer--you already know where you stand with her, but don't want to admit it to yourself.

 

Sounds like to me, she's trying to turn herself into an "influencer"--they are everywhere on IG for a gazillion different interests.

 

Whatever she is doing, she likes it more than the effort required to take seriously you, your feelings or anyone else's.

 

It is what it is--just find someone else who doesn't need to do this and stop orbiting her... it's bad form.

Edited August 22, 2019 by kendahke

[mrs rubble]

I have several nude photos on facebook (with my bits obscured) but I am a naturist, and I run a naturist page. I do it to promote naturism, it's really a great lifestyle!

My photos aren't about exhibitionism, they're about the naturist holidays we take. I'm not after male attention, and my husband is also admin on the page, so he see's all messages etc.

I don't post nudes on my own Facebook page as I know my family and workmates don't want to see them. They're for my naturist friends only.

So although I have no problem with nudity, I do have a problem with exhibitionism, and I'd be thinking her motives for posting like she is are for attention.

[boymommy]

No I have not asked her why she posted the pictures. How exactly is that conversation supposed to go?

 

Even if I were to bring it up, my guess would be she would say something along the lines of because she wanted to. I doubt she either has the insight or would admit if it were the case that she does it for the attention/validation/DMs.

 

I’m not so sure she’s relationship material unfortunately. I typically don’t feel a connection with girls that I date but I do with her. But when I think about it...

 

Why not post pictures on something like Instagram with her top on? She could easily still look great, show what a great time she had, what an awesome life she lives, with her top on. I find a lot of Instagram stuff “thirsty” or attention seeking to begin with. All these girls with their posed curated pictures. But to take it up a notch and post topless pictures, there’s really no other reason to do that other than to garner as much attention and validation as you can.

 

As I said before as well, all of my friends are stand up guys. Their girlfriends are awesome and I truly like all of them. None of my friends SOs would post pictures like this. If my sister did this, I would kill her.

 

I’m all for being a free spirit, I really like that about her. You want to be topless your entire vacation? Go for it. But I think posting it on social media is not for yourself, it’s a pretty obvious scream for attention. That concerns me in terms of being relationship material. Why does she need that attention? What happens if we were together and she posted things like that and guys are contacting her? Does that type of person ignore these guys or does she get a thrill from the attention and validation and want to keep that going?

 

I feel like you can either accept this is a part of her or you don’t. Personally I feel like it would bother me more personally then anything else (like a jealousy thing) vs it effecting the relationship or who the person is. As far as people’s arguments about compatibility, you don’t have to be someone’s clone to be comaptible with them. Just because YOU dont post nude pics doesnt mean you cant be accepting of her doing it. You said you like her free spirit and that part of her personality so maybe that is just part of that package. There really is nothing wrong with accepting someone for who they are. Its only a red flag if YOU think its one. Isnt that what we are all looking for in a relationship? Someone to accept us? If you are looking for a perfect person you will be disappointed every time and have a very hard time finding anyone, especially in older dating pools!

Edited August 22, 2019 by boymommy