Ruby Slippers Posted August 17, 2019 Posted August 17, 2019 Attention whore. Keyword: whore. I'd avoid like the plague, personally. 1
OnlyHonesty Posted August 17, 2019 Posted August 17, 2019 You already know the deal here. She's not relationship material. But you will probably go ahead and find out she's not relationship material anyway... I bet many look back wishing they acted on redflags before they got in too deep. Take note and be lucky you've been given a warning. What you do with it is up to you.
fromheart Posted August 17, 2019 Posted August 17, 2019 So she's doing soft porn basically. Awesome. Up to you how far you want to go with her, personally I'd have lots of fun but nothing more.
Author L90 Posted August 18, 2019 Author Posted August 18, 2019 I'm definitely not sure how I feel about it. Not in terms that it bothers me that she posted it. Hey if you're confident in the way you look, good for you, it's kind of sexy. But it concerns me what it means for her maturity level, her personality, what she's capable of. She's had a couple of long term relationships in the past although they were when she was younger. One at the end of HS that was 2 years I think and then one in college that was three years or so one of those years she lived with the guy. She still maintains friendships with all of her exes. So on one hand there's proof she's capable of a long term relationship, on the other hand there are signs she may not be relationship material. I look at all of my friends girlfriends, fiances, wives, and even other girls I know and none of them have ever or likely would ever post pictures like that. Not only the topless pictures, but the fact 98% of all her instagram posts and stories are of her is kind of weird to me too. She's definitely a free spirit compared to these other girls but it's still definitely out there... I don't know...
Logo Posted August 18, 2019 Posted August 18, 2019 To be capable of a long term relationship doesn't mean that the relationship was one that you'd want to take part of. There are millions of people in dysfunctional, miserable, long term relationships. That is not an indication of much. You don't know what her definition of a long term relationship constitutes, either. For some people, the boundaries are so loose, society would get a whiplash. Heed the red flags and find yourself a nice gal who will be content with your attention. I was in a relationship with a woman who needed more and more validation and she ended up with more than a few "friends". Is that what you want? 1
Maggiemay1 Posted August 18, 2019 Posted August 18, 2019 Well this crowd is full of judgmental type people and they will tell you to run. I'm 58 and I post nudes myself. I think I would be awesome relationship material. I am not in a relationship but if I was and my other half was bothered by the pictures I would remove them and not post anymore. Have you talked with her about it? Did you ask her why she posted it or are you going to let a bunch of people here tell you that she is not relationship material. But in fairness at 58 you are posting nudes (not on Instagram as it’s not allowed) so where are you posting them? 58 yr old nude pics don’t attract the attention that a twenty something does on sites such as Instagram. Wherever you are posting your nudes is a place where people positively comment no matter how you look I’m guessing? Have you ever considered the fact that you are single at 58 because of the same reasons the op’s girl will be? Why get *****ty about people’s judgement on here deeming you not relationship material when clearly posting nudes and wondering why you are single? It’s clearly not the people on this forum that are keeping you single , it’s whatever you are doing that is not attracting anyone? The people judging you are the people that see your nudes and choose not to date you. 2
rainbow12 Posted August 18, 2019 Posted August 18, 2019 in a long term relationships that she has had you don't know what those long term relationships were like. Many people get stuck in a long term relationship depending on what it's about. It doesn't mean she's girlfriend material and she's right for you. You weren't there to see what she was doing when she was in relationships.
fromheart Posted August 18, 2019 Posted August 18, 2019 What do you think the private messages coming from her male followers are like? She's doing porn dude. Like I said, that's awesome and having fun with girls like that can be great. Not an emotional investment worth making though.
Inspire Posted August 18, 2019 Posted August 18, 2019 I'd let it play out, you've only been on a few dates. She clearly likes the attention, but also recognize that people often don't mind attention even from those that they have no interest in pursuing. The content of her stories might also change when she does get into a relationship so for now just have fun and see where it goes.
Rayce Posted August 18, 2019 Posted August 18, 2019 Why get *****ty about people’s judgement on here deeming you not relationship material when clearly posting nudes and wondering why you are single? Are you assuming I have been posting nudes for years and that is why I am single? Talk about being *****ty... This is one of the most judgmental places I have ever seen. Every post here gets judged. No one here knows this chick but just because she post nudes you all are going to judge her as "updateable". 1
Rayce Posted August 18, 2019 Posted August 18, 2019 I look at all of my friends girlfriends, fiances, wives, and even other girls I know and none of them have ever or likely would ever post pictures like that. You have no idea what goes on in other people's closed doors including their bedrooms. You might be surprised at who is doing what. 1
SumGuy Posted August 18, 2019 Posted August 18, 2019 @SumGuy I could get behind your train of thought if it weren't for the "creeps" as you described. And you're right; a lot of it is context. In the situation I described, I wouldn't have taken an issue with a pic of the tattoo if: a) We hadn't already had issues with her lack of boundaries when it came to other men and some of their highly inappropriate comments. The "it's just Facebook" defense doesn't fly when a guy is posting about the size of his d-ck on a SO's page. Or, a guy responding to a breast cancer awareness post with "Show us your tits!!". She had no issues with these posts because again, "it's just Facebook..". I agree, my response was only based on the info re the pictures, and may have missed or not read the further info. Hence try to make clear based on the photos themselves. The above info you provide is for me is important behavior to put it in context. First, I am not a social media person so "it's just facebook" doesn't fly for me ever. I'm sure there are plenty of facebook users who don't think of such things as normal. I get people post stuff you may not like, but the response to the d*ck guy is to delete and block; same with the "tits" guy. Otherwise you are encouraging and condoning it. This stuff really isn't harmless, and if they call it a "joke" just shows their lack of social awareness and taste. In my opinion, if she fails to see that she is either naïve or likes this kind of attention. I forgot the details of the tattoo pic but the above behavior you describe would be enough for me to move on. Can you only imagine what it would be like to go out with her. What do you do when another guy hits on her and she encourages it?
Timshel Posted August 18, 2019 Posted August 18, 2019 This stuff really isn't harmless, and if they call it a "joke" just shows their lack of social awareness and taste. In my opinion, if she fails to see that she is either naïve or likes this kind of attention. Truth. This stuff is not harmless. Women should not be hypocrites. Men will objectify women as long as women objectify themselves. The Kartrashianesq women who have literally died with fake butt implants, photo shopping, plastic surgery, self hating editing is on women, not men. Women who are confident with themselves do not seek internet validation. 1
crispytoast Posted August 18, 2019 Posted August 18, 2019 (edited) @OP - A lot of the posters here are older and don't have a thorough understanding of how internet culture has impacted the younger generation. They grew up with social media influencing them at every turn. Posting naked or semi-naked pictures online is not so taboo any longer. I know loads of women who post exactly the kinds of pictures that you are talking about and I would easily date one of them over a woman who judges a person for it. Basically, it comes down to this: can you live with dating someone who receives this kind of attention? It is either something that you are ok with or something you are not ok with. So how is the boss going to see them? Are you so sure she won't be able to get work because of it? They use to say that about people who got tattoos just a few years ago and now it's everywhere. [/Quote] Again, I agree. People can set their Instagram accounts to private. Also, there is lots of work that won't care if you post naked pictures of yourself. Not everyone wants to work at a desk job or for some corporation. And if you are your own boss, people can kick rocks. What do you do when another guy hits on her and she encourages it? Don't think much of it. Guys like that are suckers. Have wild sex with your beautiful girlfriend. Pull her hair, smack her ass, make her call you daddy. Maybe sell him your bathwater and go on a trip around the world together with the proceeds. Have threesomes with sexy foreign women, I bet your lady is into it. The possibilities are endless. Edited August 18, 2019 by crispytoast
kendahke Posted August 19, 2019 Posted August 19, 2019 I'm looking for advice on whether this type of thing indicates potential relationship issues before I invest anymore. Ask yourself: Are you fine with her posting these pics on IG? If the answer is no, then potential relationship issues are going to be the layout of the land with her because she's really not under any obligation to change into someone she's not interested in being. It doesn't matter what your feelings are---feelings aren't a contract to or for anything. At the end of the day, she has agency to decide about posting those pics---and if she decides that there's nothing wrong with posting those pics, then that's what you have to accept; stay quietly and contentedly. If the answer is yes, then dump her and find a girl who doesn't require attention for nude pics on IG. It's really simple.
Lisa_Lisa Posted August 19, 2019 Posted August 19, 2019 Is she an Instagram model? Does she have over 10K followers? Maybe she's branding herself. I see lots of young ladies on Instagram showing off that damn BANG Energy drink. Maybe she might be contracted by a swimsuit line or an up and coming modeling agency. I think she likes showing off what she's got. If she likes you and chooses you and you like her company, go for it.
Author L90 Posted August 19, 2019 Author Posted August 19, 2019 Is she an Instagram model? Does she have over 10K followers? Maybe she's branding herself. I see lots of young ladies on Instagram showing off that damn BANG Energy drink. Maybe she might be contracted by a swimsuit line or an up and coming modeling agency. I think she likes showing off what she's got. If she likes you and chooses you and you like her company, go for it. Nope she's definitely not an instagram model nor trying to become one.
h0000 Posted August 19, 2019 Posted August 19, 2019 Is her account private or public? That may totally change things.
h0000 Posted August 19, 2019 Posted August 19, 2019 Ask yourself: Are you fine with her posting these pics on IG? . I guess OP is fine with nudes itself but just worried if it comes with the complications: attention seeking, disloyal or stuff like that. Well no one can tell you that OP as we dont know her. If she's flirting with dudes from the world in her DM, obviously it's a deal breaker. But maybe she doesnt allow strangers to DM, Maybe she is just a free spirit. Maybe she doesnt flirt with guys in real life. We dont know. We cant tell you what to do. You have to obverse who she really is.
snowcones Posted August 20, 2019 Posted August 20, 2019 Both you and her together suffer from a tamer version of "You can't turn a whore into a housewife".
Maggiemay1 Posted August 20, 2019 Posted August 20, 2019 Are you assuming I have been posting nudes for years and that is why I am single? This is one of the most judgmental places I have ever seen. Every post here gets judged. No one here knows this chick but just because she post nudes you all are going to judge her as "updateable". No I wasn’t assuming you have been posting nudes online for years. I simply responded to you posting nudes as a 58 yr old only. And let’s face it , it’s not on instagram. You and I both know that. It’s not clearly getting you a relationship so why do you do it? Every post here gets judged because every poster asks for judgement. That’s the point of the forum!! People cope well with positive judgement and negative. With the exception of a few receiving negative judgement when they expected positive! And then they slam people for being “judgemental”? And when you post a nude online , do you expect a reaction and response? Because that is asking for judgement , isn’t it? I personally am NOT saying she is undateable because she posts nudes. But she is reducing her chances with many ,because many men will consider her undateable for it. That’s not my doing or my judgement.
Author L90 Posted August 20, 2019 Author Posted August 20, 2019 Is her account private or public? That may totally change things. It's public. I think I'm struggling with the fact that I know and follow a ton of females on instagram. The only girls that post pictures like this are those instagram models and she is not trying to be one. All of the girls that I know/am friends with, my friends SOs, don't post things like this and as I know them as people would never either. It's one thing to be a free spirit and spend your vacation topless and taking pictures topless but I think it's another to post them on instagram. She's had long term relationships in the past and has maintained good relationships with her exes so that leads me to think when they were together things must have been pretty good and didn't end with any terrible animosity. I'm just not sure about this though. Why post them on instagram? Why not post pictures with your top on if you want to show off your awesome vacation? What's with the posed pictures by herself looking sexy? Why not post pictures of herself looking good with friends or doing something? It seems attention seeking, maybe even narcissistic? Not sure what to think here
Mrs._December Posted August 20, 2019 Posted August 20, 2019 She’s an attention seeking narcissist seeking validation and needing to feed her ego...plain and simple. Let me guess...she has way more male “friends” than female friends? Just like most females anymore between the ages of 14-50. This is just another day for fools like your girlfriend, OP. They live their lives for public consumption and everything they DO in life is just another photo op for the desperately thirsty ones to get that coveted validation they crave. If I were you, I'd find myself an intelligent girlfriend with a little more class than this one. One who actually understands that life doesn't revolve around getting mouth-breathers and knuckle-draggers on the internet to 'like' her nude beach pictures so she can feel hot and popular. Why not post pictures with your top on if you want to show off your awesome vacation? What's with the posed pictures by herself looking sexy? Why not post pictures of herself looking good with friends or doing something?LOL. You know why.
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