FreakyMe Posted September 27, 2005 Posted September 27, 2005 My first love dumped me, with no warning just after I got back from my holiday. I think it was my fault he ended it but he has never said so. He became really preoccupied with starting university I think and left me behind, because he made new friends, especially new girl friends, who he would text all the time. Anyway, we have started talking again after 3 months of singleness and I am beginning to fancy him..! I have hinted at this and he has played along with it by telling me he misses me, that im beautiful and he misses waking up next to me etc etc etc... and then he goes back to university for his 2nd year....and drops me once more. Im so confused. Why on earth would he pick me up after a year and a half of what I thought was an amazing relationship and then drop me when he finds someone better to hang out with? Thanks for letting me get it out on here... do you think i should stop talking to him fullstop? I cant get over him and he was over me so quickly.
Winger Posted September 29, 2005 Posted September 29, 2005 My situation is basically the same. My first love broke up with me in August after a four year relationship. We go to college in the same town and we lived together in a great apartment in the city but she seemed to do a complete 180 overnight in regards to how she feels in the relationship. She wants independence and to be able to live out her "faith" - and she feels that she can't do that with me because I am not of the same faith, my beliefs are different etc. Anyway, I can totally understand how you feel - she used to talk about getting married and having a family one day. She even threw baby names around all the time. It seemed like the real thing...we were inseperable from the age of 16. After the break, we got together quite a bit and it felt like we were still together. She was very affectionate, so was I. I helped her get a few things for her new apartment. She told me that it could just be a rut and that eventually it might iron itself out. So I was getting mixed signals just like you. Then, she went to a counsellor to talk about the breakup and the counsellor told her it was unhealthy to still be seeing me if she still wanted the breakup. She still feels confused and that the breakup is necessary, so we decided to cut communication. I've cracked once or twice...her birthday is this week so I called her on Monday and asked if I could see her to drop off a gift that I bought her. It ended up being a very special night...very affectionate. But the break is still on...and we're back to not communicating now so that we have time to heal. I think it's really hard to deal with the mixed signals because it gives you hope. She still says she loves me and yada yada. I feel like she picked me up after a good relationship and dropped me too...so we're in the same boat. Just take everything day by day...see what happens if the communication stops. I can't give up hope for us right now, but maybe someday I will. In the meantime, I'm just having fun and trying to adjust to life without my best gal. I hpoe things work out for you...just know that you'll find happiness with or without him.
jrugg1021 Posted September 29, 2005 Posted September 29, 2005 I'm in a similar situation. My first love and I were dating for nine months when I moved two and a half hours away. We were working it out and I thought everything was fine. Then out of no where he says his ffelings have changed and that he loves me but is not IN love with me. i was heartbroken- I still am. First of all, DON'T BLAME YOURSELF!!! It's not your fault his feelings changed. It's only been a little over a week and a half that my b/f broke up with me and I've been asking myself why too. You can't take the blame. You did nothing wrong. My b/f told me he felt that way for about a month. Well, I've been away for a month. All the phone conversations in the world can't keep someone from falling out of love. I've read that since men are visual creatures, they fall in love faster. BUT, they also fall out of love faster if they don't have that visual reaffirmation. It seems like my ex is over me as well. And I'm still no where near being over him. He's a guy! When he's away, he has other girls giving him the attention that you can't. Of course his feelings would fade. That's what happened with my ex. I know it hurts I still love my ex and want to be with him. But I know that while I'm at school, I have no shot. It seems like his feelings are brought back up by hanging out with you. But without being with you, he doesn't think they're there anymore. I only hope that when I spend a month in Dec. at home, my ex's feelings will be brought back up. Distance does that to people- as much as it sucks. Good luck.
RecordProducer Posted September 30, 2005 Posted September 30, 2005 Why on earth would he pick me up after a year and a half of what I thought was an amazing relationship and then drop me when he finds someone better to hang out with?Because he is not in love with you. That's why: I cant get over him and he was over me so quickly.Sorry, hun.
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