blackendangel13 Posted September 27, 2005 Posted September 27, 2005 I have been having problems with my good friend for a while. He has a drug problem and I have tried to help him. I have been supportive of him with everything (except that obviously). He has been treating me horribly lately. He has been disappearing on me for weeks and when he comes around he looks like hell and offers no excuses. Yet I still smile and say its nice to see you bla bla bla. Well he knows the whole deal about "bad ex". He knew how completely stressed out and upset I was about seeing him this weekend at a friends wedding. When I asked him to be my "date" (almost 2 months ago) I told him why I wanted him there. I said that I needed him to stand by my side and support me while I was there because I was a wreck. He said no problem. He also knows the couple getting married and was invited as well. Today is Tuesday and he sends me a text message asking me if I really need a date for the wedding - Sunday. I smelled a blow off immediately. He went on to say that him being my date doesn't feel right and he doesn't want me to get the wrong idea and basically went on like he thought I was in love with him! I can't believe him. I told him exactly why I wanted him there when I asked him. Not only were we going to the ceremony but we planned to spend the whole day together because my favorite band was in town and he wanted to go with me. So I got him a ticket and now this. I am livid. I told him to forget it and I'd find a friend to support me on Sunday while he used the day to get over himself. I am done. Now he is backpeddling, I don't even want to be friends anymore I am so mad. I let him walk all over me while I tried to help him. I have never been so happy to let a friend go.
isabellaraviv Posted September 30, 2005 Posted September 30, 2005 I feel like the issue here is his drug habit. If he were just a huge flake, I'd support this decision, but it seems like he's just having HUGE issues with the drugs. And if I were you I would distance myself from him and let him know you care, but that you can't deal with his problems right now. Sometimes when you are all consumed in a problem, taking on someone else's doesn't help or work.
gevoraksix Posted October 7, 2005 Posted October 7, 2005 Im trying to" breakup" slowly with a friend. and it hurts . Im still in the process Have you ever thought"She's supposed to be my friend yet how could she? Was he like this before the drugs? Even if its Just because of the drugs i think You are smart to end the friendship. You do not need a one-sided friendship. I hope you find a friend to go with you!
Author blackendangel13 Posted October 7, 2005 Author Posted October 7, 2005 In the past few months, I have found a new friend and a friend in someone I never thought I'd be friends with. These friends are showing what the meaning of friendship is. That makes it so much easier to rid myself of the negativity that has been plaguing me lately. Here is a little background on my "friendship" with this man. We met about a year and a half ago. We were both out of seriously relationships and were basically emotional rebounds for each other. Only one time during the last year had I seen him messed up on drugs to the point that he said something hurtful to me, however he did lie to me in the beginning about how much he did his drug of choice. He told me he had only done it once, which I found out was quite a big lie. For the last 6 months, that is where it started getting really bad. We used to hang out all the time when I was with my ex and that caused relationship problems because my ex was super jealous. I was not about to give up our good friendship though. He was supportive and fun then. When I broke up with my ex, I thought things would go back to how they used to be and I'd see more of him. This was about 4 months ago. Since the ex and I broke up, I have hung out with him one time, at a party at his house. He goes for weeks without returning my calls or texts messages, which worries the hell out of me. Since I have known my new girl-friend, she has only seen us fighting, and everytime I saw him he was messed up... bad. As for the wedding last Sunday, I didn't pick up his calls all week and told him I wanted to go by myself. He didn't try to get in touch with me the day of and I went alone (that was a distater for another post). On Monday he text messaged me, I was short. On Tuesday he emailed me and accused me of being bitter. I said flat out "I don't have time for drama and people that suck the emotions out of me and thats what you do". I feel sad but good at the same time.
gevoraksix Posted October 7, 2005 Posted October 7, 2005 Keep feeling good. The bad feeling will pass in time. Dont let this person continue to drag You down.
FoolishDriver Posted October 16, 2005 Posted October 16, 2005 blackendangel, you read my long pathetic posts when I was going through a hard time. I hope that things will get better between you and your friend. That is too bad about his drug problem. That could be very difficult to deal with. Be strong.
Author blackendangel13 Posted October 17, 2005 Author Posted October 17, 2005 Thank you Foolish. It was reassuring to see you going through the exact same thing I was with your LDR. I have since written off this friend completely. He still tries to email me sometimes, acting like I have the problem. But thats what addicts do. He thinks this is all a big joke and that I am overreacting. I just don't have time for drama. My life is going really well right now and I don't have time or energy for anyone to bring me down. Apparently he was at a bar Saturday completely messed up (surprise) and was being a huge dick to one of our mutual friends. He left his cousin at the bar (after trying to score with his cousins FWB) and preaching to my friend about stealing a friend's woman (long stupid story that was none of his business). I admire my friend so much because had it been me he was acting like that too, I would have punched him without a second thought. He is out of control and losing all his friends. But thats his choice. I am anxious to see how next week goes because I will be seeing him on at least two occasions, most likely three.
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