lynnered Posted September 27, 2005 Posted September 27, 2005 6 months after i bought house ,i got new neighbors ,they got M a month or 2after moving in, well H always makes little comments ,like if i had a sexy thing like U,if i knew U were home today i would have took off &came over,makes me uncomfortable sometimes laugh,all i talk about with him is household related stuff,and he didnt start out with comments ,now he gets bolder ,i told him one time U have a wife ,U just got married,spice it up in bedroom,etc things to nicely let him know i am not interested ! i feel like i have a sign on my head he notices whenever a vehicle is in my driveway ,when im home alone&W isnt he knocks on my door,i never invite him in or overly friendly,my therapist gave me a homework assignment i need to assert myself with him to make it stop . havent done yet want to be firm not rude. i am in no way attracted to him ,like him as a neighbor ,hes helpful sometimes he has mowed my grass,advised me on house related stuff ,hes has a funny sense of humor (which is kind of how he started his comments:( ) those who are familur with my situation ,know im getting over MM,well he was here last night feel asleep around 7am slept then got on here posting well im still in my nightie (comes above knees not to sexy)neighbors C knocks on door ,i grab my huge almost to my ankles robe,talk to her on porch well hes out there in his driveway keeps looking over smiling ,soon as she walks away he calls my name ,walks over ,asks me why im home, i state that my X came over last night &it wasnt working out ,talked late into the nightetc(he dont know hes M,or much about him )ive mentioned before "my boyfriend"had for a few years ,has "commitment issues"keeps coming back & forth,cause he always notices a vehicle ,W had asked about MM truck before & i had told her these things & that he was probly moving in sept . so i was feeling down & i mentioned it wasnt going to work out with "boyfriend "& it was over for good ,mentioned he was M before *been in my life a long time ,has sommitment issues ,well he was saying hed have no problems commiting to a beautiful woman like me,etc i laughed. MM was suposed to give me $$ which he said he hasnt gotton backpay owed from work, i was going to take Neighbors C shopping with me sat if i had $$,i told C x was suposed to give me $$ so i mentioned that he said ,he would take me shopping 1 day.& WTF and he mentioned only seeing MM vehicle about 1 a month ,that "boyfriend"have issues if hes not with me,and im attractive so he did make me feel a little better im feeling down so maybe i talked a little too much to him i talk to C ,and she tells him stuff,not personal personson shes 16,just about boyfriend having commitment issues ,not to date til shes 18-20:D anyway to vent so much really bad day:mad: just dont know why attached guys hit on me so much,im more comfortable with attached men only because i usually dont worry about them hitting on me because they have someone,guess have to lose that way of thinking . o and neighbor told me"he would give me best 20 minutes of my life" just something i thought U guys may find funny:lmao:
sylviaguardian Posted September 27, 2005 Posted September 27, 2005 That's not funny:sick: This guy is harrassing you. You've answered your own question by stating that you're not assertive enough. Try this: don't respond to what he says, smile politely, then say you have got to go because you are busy. He will soon get the message.
Author lynnered Posted September 27, 2005 Author Posted September 27, 2005 sylviaguardian, i just dont get men or people ,if Ur with someone end that then persue others ,it disgusts me ,makes me distrustful,and its like U cant be nice to the oppisite sex without them getting ideas . i am 27 this man is 47 "don't respond to what he says, smile politely, then say you have got to go because you are busy. He will soon get the message" i am going to try this i just dont want to appear rude ,its hard as far as neighbors as im going to live here forever hopefully theyll be here awhile (everybody owns up here no rentals) it just upsets my self esteem more then anything ,im not sexaul towards him,do not invite him in my home ,have never expressed overly personal interest,& then i start to feel like maybe its me but i am not a mean person and it hurts me to hurt others ,and going through a bad time now & thats just 1 more thing thats not right in my life.
newbby Posted September 28, 2005 Posted September 28, 2005 Lynnered, I agree, its difficult to know what to say in this situation as you feel a bit presumptious if you take it seriously. I think its best to just talk normally to him, but if he makes a comment excuse yourself and go. Dont laugh, he probably sees this as encouragement.
Author lynnered Posted September 28, 2005 Author Posted September 28, 2005 yes i guess it upset me alot yesturday as U know monday was closure with MM so it just seemed like icing on the cake for my day:(
Art_Critic Posted September 28, 2005 Posted September 28, 2005 monday was closure with MM ( Well Congrats on taking control over your life.. you made the right decision.. It gets easier from here on out..
Author lynnered Posted September 28, 2005 Author Posted September 28, 2005 i thank U art , well yesturday tuesday cried alot & posted like crazy:rolleyes: but its theraputic. today i feel better ,alot clearer ,still lazy . i know its all a process .
Art_Critic Posted September 28, 2005 Posted September 28, 2005 i thank U art , well yesturday tuesday cried alot & posted like crazy:rolleyes: but its theraputic. today i feel better ,alot clearer ,still lazy . i know its all a process . Well keep posting if you need us we are here ..
Author lynnered Posted September 28, 2005 Author Posted September 28, 2005 i thank U again , if i didnt find LS in dec i dont think i would have had the strength, its not going to be easy ,i see it as a habit i need to break so many differnt emotions come & go . but the venting everyday& my online friends helping me ,no matter what i feel or how much i want him i will no longer contact him i dont need him ,i do love him & feel he loves me,but love does not conquer all & i have issues that caused me to accept this type of relationship ,it has not been healthy . so i thought in sept he would be done id given him MANY chances so sept 04,i told him U say Ur leaving SOON im not telling U ,U need to leave but im telling U im not staying after that , so I dont know if U read my post , he left in august,but of course he went back & just the whole way he handled situation was just the worst. when i saw him monday he said "he did it wrong "he need to try harder next time so i ask ,are U going to move out this week ?no WTF ,how long will it be no longer then a month he says ,i told him i cant accpet that , i asked him what do U expect me to do?be here comfort meWTF told him no sorry , i cant do that. so its ok glad its done with just trying to heal!
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