He says he feels a 'small butterfly' after our date. I'm insecure about that

[Savannah1990]

Hi everyone!

 

I had a wonderful date with the guy that started DM'ing me. It was just as fun and good as our online contact. We had a 24 hour (!) date in which we talked effortlessly for hours and really connected. He slept in my bed and we cuddled. He was very sweet and made me breakfast next morning and hinted on things we could do during our next dates. He told me he really enjoyed my company and left me a sweet note. When he was traveling back to his town, he messaged me that he had a real good time, we made a great memory together and that he's secretly feeling a 'small butterfly'. And that's what makes me insecure! I know it not rational and that I am probably overanalysing and being too insecure, because I really like him. But 'secretly feeling a small butterfly' doesn't sound really enthusiastic to me. Or am I being to negative. I would just say: 'I feel butterflies'. How would you interpret this words? Mayb also he doesn't want to scare me off by coming of to strong..?

[RecentChange]

Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay over thinking this.

 

You are going to throw out 10 positive things said because one comment was positive but not over the top positive?

 

Admitting butterflies etc takes vulnerability, most guys do not like to be vulnerable.

 

It sounds like you have a lot of anxiety - what steps are you taking to try to manage it?

[kendahke]

Hi everyone!

 

I had a wonderful date with the guy that started DM'ing me. It was just as fun and good as our online contact. We had a 24 hour (!) date in which we talked effortlessly for hours and really connected. He slept in my bed and we cuddled. He was very sweet and made me breakfast next morning and hinted on things we could do during our next dates. He told me he really enjoyed my company and left me a sweet note. When he was traveling back to his town, he messaged me that he had a real good time, we made a great memory together and that he's secretly feeling a 'small butterfly'. And that's what makes me insecure! I know it not rational and that I am probably overanalysing and being too insecure, because I really like him. But 'secretly feeling a small butterfly' doesn't sound really enthusiastic to me. Or am I being to negative. I would just say: 'I feel butterflies'. How would you interpret this words? Mayb also he doesn't want to scare me off by coming of to strong..?

 

OP, get out of your head before you wreck this.

[Savannah1990]

You guys(or girls ) are so right. I think I was just damaged by my longterm relationship with highschoolsweetheart and the way it ended.. I usually am not as anxious is I am now. I come to think and question myself if I am really ready to establish something new.. I am trying to control my thoughts. But it's not an easy thing to do

[kendahke]

You guys(or girls ) are so right. I think I was just damaged by my longterm relationship with highschoolsweetheart and the way it ended.. I usually am not as anxious is I am now. I come to think and question myself if I am really ready to establish something new.. I am trying to control my thoughts. But it's not an easy thing to do

 

You might want to talk to a therapist before trying to find a boyfriend... they can give you the tools required to control your thoughts and live in the present. A new boyfriend can't give you that--and in fact, the lack of being able to self-soothe may end up harming new relationships before they can sprout the legs needed to go the distance.

[Mrin]

What he said was a good thing. He's into you.

 

Get out of your head. Enjoy!

[preraph]

He's just admitting he liked you, without going over the top about it. Kind of teasing/flirting. Don't start overanalyzing or questioning him about it. You'll risk looking desperate rather than curious.

[The Outlaw]

If the feeling is mutual, don't worry about it. It's a good thing that he admitted it and the two of you got on so well early on.

[Gretchen12]

Don't judge him by the size of the butterfly.

[spiderowl]

It was a heavy hint that he really likes you. I expect he was wondering how you would react to that. He didn't want to panic you into thinking he was overly obsessed at this stage either. It sounds like you had a great time. Enjoy!