boymommy Posted August 15, 2019 Posted August 15, 2019 (edited) Well I spoke to him about the holiday he rang me about it, I said I understood his need for space so that we only had to discuss the holiday and we could talk about the relationship when he was ready too! I let him know I was here to talk when he felt like he was ready too. So I asked him if he was still up for going because if not I would need to sort some stuff out to which he replied yes. He still wanted to go, he then said I want to go with you. I didn’t push I just explained that I needed to know what he was thinking about the holiday. I can’t imagine he would say he still wanted to go if he didn’t especially as I gave him the chance a few times to say no. I said I’ll let you go so you can enjoy the rest of your evening, and he said talk soon and blew a kiss down the phone. He doesn't want to break up, but he wants the problems to stop. Thats where you work on you! How you handled yourself on the phone was great! Give him the time and space, and get to know yourself! I dont think you should go on the trip unless he’s indicated he wants to get back together. Personally that could get weird and messy and you would be in Spain. You need to sort your stuff out first before you committ to the trip. I dont think its a great idea to go on a romantic trip to another country with a guy you are on a break with. Just tell him you thought about it and feel that would onky make sense if you guys were together and you dont want to put that kind of pressure on him. Let him decide. Edited August 15, 2019 by boymommy
Versacehottie Posted August 15, 2019 Posted August 15, 2019 What Bailey said^^^ If I were to be honest, you sound incredulous that he asked you for space, not humbled. It sounds very self centered and what you want, including him now. There are two people in this relationship and my advice would be to start treating him as if he is one of them. Not only to get what YOU want but to support what he wants as well. That’s in actions and tone and controlling your impulses. Good luck
schlumpy Posted August 15, 2019 Posted August 15, 2019 Emergency action is required. Get yourself into counseling or therapy ASAP. I think you can learn to control your impatient behavior with the proper techniques. Let him know that this is what you are doing because the relationship is that important to you. If it doesn't work, attend anyway and try to smooth yourself out in preparation for the next love of your life.
stillafool Posted August 15, 2019 Posted August 15, 2019 I'm still trying to understand why you would pay for a round trip ticket to another country for a man you only known 3 months. My goodness, no wonder he wants to go. 1
elaine567 Posted August 15, 2019 Posted August 15, 2019 ...I paid for the flights and he paid for the hotel. But the hotel comes with a cancellation policy so he can cancel up to 5 days in advance so he really wouldn’t loose money. If he cancels the hotel 5-7 days in advance, where does that leave you? 1
Timshel Posted August 15, 2019 Posted August 15, 2019 My guess. He is back with the ex or he wants "space" to see his ex... My second best guess - he has found someone else. You got involved with a guy who just split up with his ex due to distance. She is now back in town and early July he went cold and distant on you and now he wants space... I think this remains the most accurate synopsis. Going on a lovely vacation with an attractive woman does not invalidate this. Anyway, good luck.
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