LauraXX Posted August 15, 2019 Posted August 15, 2019 First of all: I agree with the others that you need more help than this forum can offer. Please go and talk to a therapist. But also, please realize that you're actively sabotaging this relationship. You're worried that it's going to end because your bf cheats on you. But it's definitely going to end if you don't manage to control your jealousy. Nobody could keep up with that level of paranoia and mistrust for a very long time. Maybe just picture the worst case scenario and realize that it wouldn't be the end of the world. What if you just fully trusted this guy, have a great relationship for a while only to find out that he actually cheated on you. Well... you'll leave him, find somebody better suited for you, but you'd still know that you were your best self and the relationship ended because of him. And relationships end all the time... that's life! Just make sure that you have a full and happy life where any potential partner is just like the cherry on top. That's still better than dragging this on for years, being constantly suspicious and paranoid and making not only yours but also his life a living hell. He's going to run for the hills at one point and then you'll regret having ruined something with so much potential (because he must be a great guy if he tolerated this for so long).
Author Atlantis5 Posted August 15, 2019 Author Posted August 15, 2019 Thank you for your responses. I will try to find good therapist..Im kinda worried cause I have this stubborn ideas in my head and I dont know if I would benefit from therapies...I would really like to solve this alone but I cant seem to manage it all together. Yes my bf is a great guy and I feel guilty for doing this to him. I also feel tremendous shame to say everything I do to snoop and control him... because deep inside i know he is not doing it, but still...
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