Turning Down Invitation Into Her House

[MetallicHue]

Dude I think you just gotta chill and go with the flow. You’re being respectful which is good but I think you are overthinking things a bit.

[Saturn98]

It's sweet that you want some one you date to be safe but I really think you are not giving enough credence to the intelligence of the women you date. No sane woman is going to intentionally put herself in danger.

 

A phone # is not a huge security risk. She may have a burner phone for dating. She may have adopted an internet based #. Her # may not be tied to her physical address. It's waaaayy harder to reverse a phone # these days then it was 10-15 years ago.

 

 

Conservative women won't have a problem slowing it down. I have a certain protocol. She cannot offer to buy me an ice cream cone until we have gotten to 8-10 dates. She cannot touch me at all on the 1st date. If she does she would not get a 2nd date. I don't expect her to touch me on the 1st date when I'm still a stranger.

[kendahke]

Conservative women won't have a problem slowing it down. I have a certain protocol. She cannot offer to buy me an ice cream cone until we have gotten to 8-10 dates. She cannot touch me at all on the 1st date. If she does she would not get a 2nd date. I don't expect her to touch me on the 1st date when I'm still a stranger.

 

Yeah, and how is this working out for ya?

 

This is worse than those rules for dating...

[Kitty Tantrum]

If you're angling for conservative girls, try being up-front about it: tell her you don't think it would be appropriate. Makes your interest obvious - risk of temptation is the reason you're declining. I can completely respect that... but you need to tone down the covert/paranoid approach.

 

It's okay to be clear about what you want.

 

It's okay to be clear about what you want.

 

IT'S OKAY TO BE CLEAR ABOUT WHAT YOU WANT.

 

Then you don't have to play games, and won't look like you're playing games and trying to get what you want (or the appearance of what you want, more likely) by manipulating situations instead of seeking compatible women.

 

 

<3

[preraph]

Conservative women won't have a problem slowing it down. I have a certain protocol. She cannot offer to buy me an ice cream cone until we have gotten to 8-10 dates. She cannot touch me at all on the 1st date. If she does she would not get a 2nd date. I don't expect her to touch me on the 1st date when I'm still a stranger.

 

You sound like a dictator, but I think it's all just an exercise to rationalize your own fear. You're too controlling for any woman I've ever met. And judgmental.

[Saturn98]

You sound like a dictator, but I think it's all just an exercise to rationalize your own fear. You're too controlling for any woman I've ever met. And judgmental.

 

There's a difference between dictatorship and feeling uncomfortable when someone is coming on too heavy. I would rather a woman take "too long" to buy me a gift, have sex or invite me into her place than to do these things too early. She can show her interest in me and still take longer to do all this even if it takes her 1-2 years.

[d0nnivain]

People don't take 1-2 years to show interest.

 

The idea that you would refuse something as simple & innocent as an ice cream speaks volumes about your dating mentality.

 

At best you are way outside of the mainstream & you will be better served by making those unusual specifications of yours well known up front.

[MetallicHue]

I think you need to be flexible and feel things out. You have some preconceived notion of how things are going to be and that most likely will not work out well for you.

[kendahke]

It takes less than 24 hours to lose interest... it may drag on longer when one doesn't want to believe that one is no longer interested enough...

 

no one who is being romantically muzzled is going allow their interest to make it to the 1-2 year mark, let alone the 1-2 month mark.

[Saturn98]

People don't take 1-2 years to show interest.

 

The idea that you would refuse something as simple & innocent as an ice cream speaks volumes about your dating mentality.

 

At best you are way outside of the mainstream & you will be better served by making those unusual specifications of yours well known up front.

 

Well I'm not the type to assume every woman I go out with wants to buy me an ice cream cone so I would rather cross that bridge when I come to it. Whoever asks for the dates should pay. Typically guys are asking for most of the dates for awhile in the early stages which is fine with me.

[planb1973]

OP. Are you a virgin?

I don't ask that in a condescending way, but the only time in my life I turned down being invited into a woman's house was because I was a virgin and scared to have sex.

[Foxhall]

Conservative women won't have a problem slowing it down. I have a certain protocol. She cannot offer to buy me an ice cream cone until we have gotten to 8-10 dates. She cannot touch me at all on the 1st date. If she does she would not get a 2nd date. I don't expect her to touch me on the 1st date when I'm still a stranger.

 

 

lol classic,

 

[preraph]

There's a difference between dictatorship and feeling uncomfortable when someone is coming on too heavy. I would rather a woman take "too long" to buy me a gift, have sex or invite me into her place than to do these things too early. She can show her interest in me and still take longer to do all this even if it takes her 1-2 years.

 

Are you just waiting for a woman who's more afraid than you? She's not going to do ANYTHING.