planb1973 Posted August 8, 2019 Posted August 8, 2019 Recently I have gotten back in the dating scene after almost a year long break. The relationship that broke my heart and caused me to take a long break did some damage. It was a short relationship but I feel like some part of me broke that is causing me to have some commitment issues. I always wanted to get married and settle down, but after getting my teeth bashed in every time I think I have found the one I want to go the distance with I have become increasingly loosing interest, better put fearful, of the prospect of marriage or committed relationships. Its like I have become the person who I end up dating and getting hurt from. Commitment phobia. I really don't even know what I want or what I am doing in the romantic aspect of my life anymore. I have been getting plenty of dates and every woman I go out with makes the comment "I am shocked no one has snatched you right up." And their interest level is apparent right away. Part of me wants all of them and the other part wants to run away. I miss very much the affection from women and eat it up with every chance. But no one seems to fit what I want (which I don't even know any more) and I feel like I will just be leaving a trail of broken hearts. Help. From the mid 40's guy who's sh** is together minus the romantic side and every woman I go out with thinks I am amazing.
Happy Lemming Posted August 8, 2019 Posted August 8, 2019 Why in your mid-forties do you want to get married?? I'd be thinking more about retirement planning at this age, than marriage. A marriage later in life can spell financial ruin if it ends in divorce, why take the chance at this stage?
PRW Posted August 8, 2019 Posted August 8, 2019 ....after getting my teeth bashed in every time I think I have found the oneevery woman I go out with makes the comment "I am shocked no one has snatched you right up."You can't have it both ways. If they start out liking you then later hating you,...than that is you causing it somehow. You're dating skills and methods may be out of wack. "The One" is a myth. If you go into it thinking you found "The One", then that is the first big sign of trouble. What you chase,...you chase away.
kendahke Posted August 8, 2019 Posted August 8, 2019 But no one seems to fit what I want Might be time to stop looking where you're looking and look elsewhere... Chances are, at your age, finding someone who fits all of what you want becomes increasingly rare... so you may have to be content with never finding the perfect woman save the one who ticks off enough of the boxes of what you want that you can be content with her.
schlumpy Posted August 8, 2019 Posted August 8, 2019 Is there someone from your past influencing your behavior today? Some unresolved feelings that might interfere with a current relationship?
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