Navybluegal Posted August 8, 2019 Posted August 8, 2019 (edited) Met a guy IRL (he actually walked up to me on the street as I was window shopping and smiled at him momentarily). We exchanged numbers, and within a few texts he said that he googled my name and I popped up on LinkedIn (had no idea one can look you up only with your first name!). So now he knows what I do for a living, which company I work for, where I went to school - basically, my whole resume. Not only it's a turnoff and takes away the mystery of getting to know each other, it feels weird that he knows way more about me than I do about him (which is essentially his first name and phone number). I also don't appreciate the fact that he knows what I do for a living as it's something I typically don't share right away (some folks tend to date me for my cushy job so I prefer to not mention it on the first few dates). I realize that people google their dates these days, but isn't admitting to it a bit creepy? This whole situation seems weird to me. Edited August 8, 2019 by Navybluegal 1
preraph Posted August 8, 2019 Posted August 8, 2019 Unless you have a unique first name, it would not work to look you up on LinkedIn unless he knew where you worked too. He could google where you worked and your first name and find it.
Author Navybluegal Posted August 8, 2019 Author Posted August 8, 2019 Unless you have a unique first name, it would not work to look you up on LinkedIn unless he knew where you worked too. He could google where you worked and your first name and find it. It is a rather unique name
h0000 Posted August 8, 2019 Posted August 8, 2019 Some people dont trust, they need to social media investigate you to make sure you arent secretly married to an alcoholic with huge debt and a kid. 1
basil67 Posted August 8, 2019 Posted August 8, 2019 He only looked up what was freely available to him - so I see no harm. Unless you've got lengthy details of your life history out on the web, he now knows about 1% of who you are and how you feel. This shouldn't take away from the getting to know you process. Those of us who want internet anonymity shouldn't put our details out there. 1
Author Navybluegal Posted August 8, 2019 Author Posted August 8, 2019 Why would anyone admit to googling you, for heaven's sake?! That just seems dumb or weird or immature. What a turnoff.
Sunlight72 Posted August 8, 2019 Posted August 8, 2019 (edited) Why would anyone admit to googling you, for heaven's sake?! That just seems dumb or weird or immature. What a turnoff.Welcome to the 21st century. No flying cars, but Big Brother gives literally everyone a porthole peep at you from the palm of their hand. If this guy is tech-savvy, hangs with Millennials or IT folk, or is a Boy Scout leader, church youth leader, junior-high or high school teacher, etc. he could well spend enough time with the snap-chat-world where it's commonly known/expected to search people that he searches people as if it's commonly known and expected. Sorry you don't like it. We all lost the choice to permit it or not about 5 years ago. Now many people don't think twice. My recent ex is a Millennial - she gave me a hard time for asking where she worked after our 2nd or 3rd date because "don't you know how to use Google?". I know it's not universal, but it seems to be becoming more common. Edited August 8, 2019 by Sunlight72 3
basil67 Posted August 8, 2019 Posted August 8, 2019 Why would anyone admit to googling you, for heaven's sake?! That just seems dumb or weird or immature. What a turnoff. My guess is that he's got an open personality. Hiding what he does isn't his style. 1
Redhead14 Posted August 8, 2019 Posted August 8, 2019 I would have made lite of it: "Oh, so you know about my time at Alcatraz then. That's a really interesting story . . ." 1
Ami1uwant Posted August 8, 2019 Posted August 8, 2019 It is a rather unique name It’s common to google someone. Sometime you want yo see if ehat they told you us true. If you have a unique name you can be found with a first name only. I did it once. Some peop,e have very buplic jobs do picture is out there. That’s another way to find you via taking your photo snd the search for you.
Rayce Posted August 8, 2019 Posted August 8, 2019 That is just standard dating practice now a days. A person can't be too careful.
The Outlaw Posted August 8, 2019 Posted August 8, 2019 He shouldn't have broadcast it like that and I'd find it creepy myself, but I really wouldn't worry about it unless he starts to dig deeper than that. I'm not defending him, but some people are just curious by nature.
Author Navybluegal Posted August 8, 2019 Author Posted August 8, 2019 At this point, I feel uncomfortable going out with a complete stranger who knows so much about me AND has an, er, heightened sense of curiosity about me. Thoughts? Am I being unreasonable? Having had stalkers in the past, this kind of stuff really irks me When I meet people online, I use a fake name and google voice number. In this case I didn't think of giving my fake name as I was caught by surprise when he approached me.
Rayce Posted August 8, 2019 Posted August 8, 2019 I do out right background checks on guys I date. It only cost me $10 from the state patrol to find out if someone I'm dating has a criminal background. That is all I really care for. I am mostly looking for DV charges. 1
alphamale Posted August 8, 2019 Posted August 8, 2019 I do out right background checks on guys I date. It only cost me $10 from the state patrol to find out if someone I'm dating has a criminal background. That is all I really care for. I am mostly looking for DV charges. you should check to see if they also have mental diagnoses and run a credit check to see if they have any bankruptcies or other financial issues
Rayce Posted August 8, 2019 Posted August 8, 2019 When I meet people online, I use a fake name and google voice number. In this case I didn't think of giving my fake name as I was caught by surprise when he approached me. Why a fake name? I had a stalker myself and he gave me a fake name when I met. It wasn't until 3 months into the relationship that I learned his real name. I broke it off with him right away... then he stalked me for 6 months. Talk about a nightmare...
Author Navybluegal Posted August 8, 2019 Author Posted August 8, 2019 Why a fake name? I had a stalker myself and he gave me a fake name when I met. It wasn't until 3 months into the relationship that I learned his real name. I broke it off with him right away... then he stalked me for 6 months. Talk about a nightmare... Because I had stalkers before. Don't project your experience on mine.
Rayce Posted August 8, 2019 Posted August 8, 2019 you should check to see if they also have mental diagnoses and run a credit check to see if they have any bankruptcies or other financial issues Due to HIPAA regulations you will never know about their health issues. You need authorization from a person or their very personal information to check up on their credit...
Rayce Posted August 8, 2019 Posted August 8, 2019 Because I had stalkers before. Don't project your experience on mine. I am not using a fake name. I was just sharing my experience with you. I know all about stalkers.
Redhead14 Posted August 8, 2019 Posted August 8, 2019 At this point, I feel uncomfortable going out with a complete stranger who knows so much about me AND has an, er, heightened sense of curiosity about me. Thoughts? Am I being unreasonable? Having had stalkers in the past, this kind of stuff really irks me When I meet people online, I use a fake name and google voice number. In this case I didn't think of giving my fake name as I was caught by surprise when he approached me. Well, unless your dating pool/calendar is filled with options, I don't think you should eliminate a guy who hasn't done anything wrong or unsual except be honest about it. I'd hardly call this stalking. It just seems prudent especially for nowadays because people use fake names, photos, bios, etc. online. As far as getting to know someone, reading a few tidbits of superficial information doesn't mean squat. Getting to know each other is about more than where you went to high school, where you work, etc. There's a lot more to go into about all those things anyway. 2
Rayce Posted August 8, 2019 Posted August 8, 2019 If your using a fake name... when do you tell the guy your real name? How does that work? 2
Author Navybluegal Posted August 8, 2019 Author Posted August 8, 2019 If your using a fake name... when do you tell the guy your real name? How does that work? I just use a family pet name. In a few dates I reveal the conspiracy but only once I've verified his sanity Works like a charm, I highly recommend it.
Rayce Posted August 8, 2019 Posted August 8, 2019 A few dates? ok... so if I was with a guy and after date #2 he said.. oh by the way... my name is not blah blah… but it really is la la. As a woman I would be so upset with this I would never go out with the guy again. It really works for you? Maybe guys don't care about things like this. I don't know 2
Author Navybluegal Posted August 8, 2019 Author Posted August 8, 2019 (edited) A few dates? ok... so if I was with a guy and after date #2 he said.. oh by the way... my name is not blah blah… but it really is la la. It really works for you? As a woman I would be so upset with this I would never go out with the guy again. Different for men. The ones that get to learn it, appreciate me for my personality, character and depth, not for my "name". They are totally cool with it and understand my concern for my privacy and even find it flattering that now they're in a circle of trust. We as women, have more reasons to be concerned about psychos, criminals and psychopaths. If I guy does that though, he better be Elon Musk LOL. Otherwise, it might signal drama or some other baggage. Edited August 8, 2019 by Navybluegal
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