wreck Posted September 27, 2005 Posted September 27, 2005 Hi there, I'm currently going through a really horrific breakup am completely heartbroken and am having to move from our home to a new flat share this weekend which quite frankly i'm terrfied of. I've been Reading Christine Webbers "how to mend your broken heart" and it has helped except i've got to one point where i'm not ready for the next step so have had to start reading it again, just wondering if anybody else knows of anybooks that have helped them in this horrible time? Thanks Wreck :''''(
blackendangel13 Posted September 27, 2005 Posted September 27, 2005 I am sorry that this is a little irrelevent since you asked about books but I have a little nice trick that helped me when I was hurting. I took song lyrics that I found comforting and inspirational and printed them off on my computer. I cut them out and stuck them everywhere in my house. I stuck them on my mirrors, refridgerator, in my car, anywhere where I might feel a little bummed. You'd be surprised how something that simple cheers you up.
goodfella Posted September 27, 2005 Posted September 27, 2005 Be careful on what you read, alot of books unfortunatly cash in on other peoples misery. You dont need any books that cope with heart break coz i have read a few and some of them are helpful but others are destructive and slide you deeper into turmoil. Heart break is only an emotion which understandably happenes to evryone at some point in their lives, you need a book on understanding your thinking or self-talk which causes you these strong netative emotions...esspecially if they affect how you cope in life. Only time can really heal you and no contact with your ex, but you can speed up the process if you root out any irrational beliefs or scripts that you start reciting in your haed when you wake up in the morning. This not only applies to heart ache but also other strong negative emotions like anxiety and anger. A book that helped me is called " The Mythology of Self Worth" by Richard L.Franklin. Read it a few times and practice vigourisly what he suggests for a few months, it will help and give you a great insight into how we humans abuse OURSELVES with thinking. But a word of warnign dont take it as a religion and once you are done only pick it back up when you fall back into trouble. Dont constantly read it every night for years because ultimately in the end you have to forget that you need it! I feel your pain been there and got the t-shirt but i am now on my way to greater happiness by just being me. Remember that everything is subjective in a real objective world. You only cause your own pain not your ex, its a hard truth but once you understand it, it can be a huge weight off your shoulders. Good luck...you'll get there in the end!
lynnered Posted September 27, 2005 Posted September 27, 2005 "i used to miss my ex but my aim is improving ", helpful & a little funny,forget author but cant forget name:D "yesturday i cried", iyanla vanzant also by iyanla ,her stuff is all positive "one day my soul just opened up", a little workbook type 40 days&nights i"n the meantime " i dont know if u are female of male?but its all same concept . "exorcising your ex" elizabth kuster another one that is a little funny . also go to self-improvemnt section bookstore or libary ,because all of the self help /breakup type book usually mention self improvement as a way to get over somebody. goodluck in Ur healing
Okeydokey Posted September 27, 2005 Posted September 27, 2005 Hi, The song lyrics is a good idea. I put poems that I like up everywhere (though they are mostly depressing ones - I still like reading them b/c I stopped reading poetry when we were together). I also read the post on this website, "do you really think contacting your ex is going to help you?" from Feb. 14, 2005. That post is awesome everybody should read it. I contacted everyone I knew to let them know that it was over - this served 2 purposes 1. nobody ever mentions him to me anymore (which is good b/c otherwise folks are always telling you - bring so and so along to the party or I saw so and so this morning talking to X.), which means there are fewer opportunities to think about him 2. we can't get back together b/c then everyone will be aware of how messed up and unstable our relationship is. I got rid of all reminders of him - the ones that I thought were worth keeping irrespective of their connection to him I put in a place where I could not access them for a while.
Fallen_Angel Posted September 28, 2005 Posted September 28, 2005 I'm not sure if you're aware, but the guy who co-wrote He's Just Not That Into You just came out with a new book (co-written with his wife) called It's Called a Breakup Because It's Broken. I picked it up a little while ago; I liked the other book and figured this one would be good as well. The book is serious but also humorous, and surely you could use a smile right about now!! I've read about 50 pages already and quite a few lines/passages stick out. I really like this one: "Anyone who assesses you or your relationship as disposable is not worthy of your time or tears." Music is also good for what ails you. Some of the best songs ever written have sprung from the worst kinds of pain.
Author wreck Posted September 28, 2005 Author Posted September 28, 2005 Hey thanks for all your posts on this, funnily enough yo just reminded me of in my last break up how i used to get some really nice positive quotes and stuck them all over the place! Must do that again, i haven' tlistened to music since i happened, i'm enough of an emotional wreck as it is so listening to sad music or mine and my ex's music woudl really be too much for me right now.I'm a poet as well so find getting it out very easy but hard to read and very emotional doing so. Will definately look upsome of the books you've mentioned. Thanks so mcuh for all your support. xxxxxxxx
ReluctantRomeo Posted September 28, 2005 Posted September 28, 2005 Some of the threads on this site are excellent. It's like panning for gold - you have to sift out the nuggets from the dirt. But there are plenty of nuggets out there. And it's free and immediate Try for example, "the lost guide to no contact v5"
Author wreck Posted September 28, 2005 Author Posted September 28, 2005 GOD I JUST WANT HER BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:''''''''''( x
In Sync Posted September 28, 2005 Posted September 28, 2005 GOD I JUST WANT HER BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:''''''''''( x I want to propose a question to you. If you knew that in 2 days the girl/ woman of your dreams was going to walk into your life. Rock your world, because she is beautiful, has all the qualities you want, great humour whatever! AND this person of your ideal dreams was seriously ready to fall for YOU. Would you still be pinning for the "ex"? How much is it that we want the "ex" because we just don't have confidence that the future has something better waiting for us?
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