Work It Out?

[clia]

I was with you all the way up until you said you don't eat after 6 p.m. and need to be in bed by 10 p.m. That does seem rigid to me and I would be frustrated by it.

 

At the end of the day, you two are just incompatible and you did the right thing by ending it. Onward...

[OatsAndHall]

I was with you all the way up until you said you don't eat after 6 p.m. and need to be in bed by 10 p.m. That does seem rigid to me and I would be frustrated by it.

 

At the end of the day, you two are just incompatible and you did the right thing by ending it. Onward...

 

 

Yeah, I know it's frustrating for people that I date and I'm open about it early on. I've tried to be flexible with it but I truly do have insomnia and I this is how I've learned to handle it without popping sleeping pills (other than a little melatonin here and there). It's a PITA for everyone to deal with and I acknowledge that.

 

 

 

And, this was something that I tried to be flexible with early on when dating her. We went out to dinner at around 7pm one night (not an unreasonable hour) and I ordered something light. We went back to her place and I stayed up until midnight watching a movie. I was enjoying myself and going with the flow.

 

 

I ended up getting four hours of sleep and was dragging tired the next day. She mentioned that I looked like hell and I told her that the insomnia had caught up to me. I went home, took a nap and paid for it with three hours of sleep the next night. It took me two days to get my sleep back on track, even with melatonin.

 

 

 

I will certainly eat later or go to bed later on certain occasions; concerts, dining plans with other people, etc.etc.. But I know that I'm going to pay for it. My alternative is to pop an Ambien or a Lunesta and crash but that becomes a vicious cycle for insomniacs.

[PRW]

This is my list of observations:

 

• She is "broken" to some point, how severe I am not sure.
  
• She doesn't respect other people's time
  
• She is selfish. Possibly narcissistic. With a narcissist they gaslight you and make it all YOUR fault.
  
  • It isn't her time management that is the problem, the problem is YOU holding her to a schedule.
    
  • She isn't stressed out because she can't manage her time, She is stressed out because YOU are controlling.
    
  • It isn't that the car needs a problem looked at so you don't get stranded, the problem is YOU freaking her out about it.
    
  • The problem isn't her being irresponsible, it is YOU not being spontaneous.
    
  • You, you, you, you
    

   

BTW - I didn't mean it REALLY was you,...I was showing how she is trying to gaslight you.

[OatsAndHall]

@PRW

 

 

Thanks, I know that's where you were going with what you wrote. There certainly seemed like a lot of gaslighting going on during last night's conversation. I've learned to be more reflective of my behavior over the years and to view things from other people's perspective. But, outside of my high-maintenance quirk when it comes to sleep, I couldn't see how I had truly been difficult.

[Lotsgoingon]

Plenty of people I know go to bed by 10 p.m. Lots of folks have jobs they have to be at by 7 and 8 ... That's not high maintenance.

 

And you not eating past 6 ... that's your thing. One of my goals is to stop eating earlier in the night ... for health and to cut back from overeating. Nothing high maintenance about that ...

 

Sounds like any kind of attention to time ...like what time do we need to leave to get to the concert and get parking and get to the show? ... this woman would find suffocating.

[OatsAndHall]

@lotsgoingon

 

 

I recognized early on that this woman would never operate on the kind of detailed schedule that you described. That is how I prefer to do things but backed off on it. I'm the kind of person that's ten minutes early to obligations. It was a struggle just to nail down a set time and go with the flow from there.

 

 

 

All and all, she's a good woman and I miss her. We did have a lot of fun together and I think we would have fought hard to stay together. But, at the end of the day, we would have been at each other's throats. Especially given the fact that there's times during the year when I am working 70+hour weeks for a couple of months. I would've made sure I cleared time for us to hang out but would have gotten irate if she was late.

[Highndry]

You should never get irate with women. Bad move.

[Watercolors]

OatsandHall she IS gaslighting you. I know women like her, who subjugate people to bend their lives around her schedule.

 

You were unfortunately attracted to a highly narcissistic personality -- this woman jedi-mind f*cked you a few times and you fell prey to her manipulative personality.

 

It's good that you parted ways. Stay away from women like her.

 

If someone refuses to be on-time, the only reason is because you're not a priority to them. It's just that black and white, unfortunately.

 

You need to find a woman who doesn't subjugate you (I love this word) -- that is, someone who treats you like your needs, wants, and desires AND TIME are secondary to hers. Do you need a lashing rod for that self-flagellation? Or do you have one already?

[salparadise]

People who have such a loose relationship with time and scheduling often have emotional issues underlying it. My ex-wife was similar in some ways. It was a controlling, passive aggressive, attention-seeking thing. Early on I used to be overly patient, but it got worse and later on wore so thin thin that I decided to quit putting up with it, which resulted in drama.

 

For example, I'd state what time we needed to leave for some event, padding it by 5-10 minutes, and I'd give her the extra 5-10 and then leave without her. It pissed her off so bad that she'd throw a fit. I refused to engage and would just say, hey, I gave you extra time and left because I didn't want to be late. She'd only see it as my fault, never took responsibility.

 

One time she was planning to attend a wedding in a city two hours away. She was taking our daughter who was about 12 at the time. She asked to take the GPS to make sure she could find the place. She had no experience with GPS, and this was before they were as reliable as the are today (which still isn't optimal). I warned her not to rely solely on the GPS, and that she needed to print out directions. I also told her she needed to leave three hours before the wedding because the two hours was an optimal estimate, not real-world timing.

 

When she got back I asked how the wedding was but she evaded my questions. Later I asked my daughter how it was. She said, "Dad, we didn't make it to the wedding. Mom got lost and drove around and around and by the time we found the church it was too late. She has no sense of direction, and we left late too." This was a 12 year old providing the analysis of what went wrong! It was all I could do to keep a straight face.

 

It's not friggin' rocket science. There is something else deeper in the psyche that makes people unable to function on a schedule. Thankfully, my daughter does not have these issues her mother has. She keeps a busy schedule, gets a lot done, never misses important deadlines or appointments.

 

Oates - the fact that she was holding you responsible for her inability to run on time tells me that it wasn't purely practical; there was stuff under the surface that would've manifested in other ways as well. It was manufactured drama. It's sad, but these people are inherently difficult to get along with.

[FMW]

Although you have some great things in common, you clearly have important things that you are incompatible on. I can relate, and I've stopped allowing others to make me feel uptight or rigid - it just means we are NOT a good fit.

 

I'm punctual and I feel disrespected when people consistently are late for plans. I have several friends who are flaky about time and it makes me nuts.

 

As preraph said, for her, "spontaneous" means when SHE wants without regard to what's going on with you. I've experienced that as well. And yes, I admit to seldom being spontaneous, I like to plan. Agreeing to "spontaneous" plans usually leaves me wondering how many people turned them down before me, that I just wasn't their first choice.

 

And I am in the office by 6:30am, so I certainly am in bed by 10 during the week. I also do not eat after 6pm. I can't match the schedules of those who can sleep in and start later in the morning, and I don't feel the need.

 

I related all those things about myself to illustrate that there's nothing unusual about your preferences and habits. Again, it all comes down to compatibility.

 

Sorry it didn't work out for you two.

[OatsAndHall]

So...

 

 

After a few days of being split up, she sent me a text apologizing for things, stating that she missed me and that she wanted to work things out. I had sincerely missed her so we talked and decided to get back together. That was on a Wednesday. We live an hour apart, we were both busy so we just spent time talking over the phone which was nice.

 

 

 

Friday rolls around, I look at my schedule and realized that it'd be awhile (three weeks, minimum) before we'd be able to spend time together if we didn't meet up that weekend. So, I asked her if she wanted to get together that night and she said that she had a lot of things to take care of. I understood that given that it was short notice and she did have a ton of home projects to get a handle on. I suggested that we meet up on Saturday or Sunday and she hemmed and hawed.

 

 

 

Again, she told me she a lot on her plate. Now, she did have projects to take care of but a little time management (something she lacks..) would've gone a long way. And, in reality, all but one of her DYI projects needed a contractor to take a look at them first which was something she had discussed with me and her father (a contractor/painter). I'd offered to help her on the one project she could handle herself but she declined the offer.

 

 

 

I brought up the fact that we wouldn't be able to see each other for awhile if we didn't make some time for one another that weekend. She became irritated and came up with a block of time on Saturday, trying to appease me. Now I got irritated and told her that I wanted her to WANT to spend time with me and that I wasn't going to be an obligation.

 

 

 

Long story short, I told her I wasn't going to feel like a needy boyfriend because I was asking her to make some time to each other before we both got busy. That didn't fly so I called it off and I haven't looked back.

[preraph]

I'm sorry. She truly sounds kind of narcissistic because she just expects you to be available when it's her optimum time.

 

On the contractor problems, unlikely she'll get someone out there to do any work on the weekend. Maybe an estimate.

 

If she had so much on her plate, she shouldn't have jacked up up and reunited yet.

[OatsAndHall]

@preraph

 

 

I wouldn't call her narcissistic but she's certainly exceptionally self-absorbed. She wanted to DYI all of the home projects and asked me to take a look at them to see what I thought needed to be done. I have a fair amount of experience with basic contractor work as I'd worked with construction and maintenance crews over the summers in the past. Two of the three projects required a contractor and I told her as much when we first started dating. And, again, I offered to help her out with them several times.

 

 

 

Those projects were continual excuses for not getting together or why she was "stressed out" when we were together. She had all summer to get them done but she either blew them off or decided to go out of town. We had an argument because she brought up how stressed she was about the work that needed to be done but yet she decided to go to a concert out of town at the last minute. It was an afternoon concert, two hours away, but she disappeared all weekend.. I was blunt and told her that she was the cause of her own stress; she needed to get set aside a day or two and get done what she could.

[Watercolors]

OatsandHall, remember that advice, "when people show you who they really are the first time...believe them." She showed you her true colors right away -- that you were and are not a priority to her in her life -- yet you made convenient excuses around that fact, because you were attracted to her so strongly.

 

When someone puts you in their "option" category immediately, call it off. Don't chase the person. Don't make excuses for them. Don't put yourself and your needs second to theirs.

 

You gave her a second chance, and again, she made excuse after excuse why she was "sooo busy" that she couldn't make time for you. Baloney! The truth is that she didn't want to make time for you, because you were not really a priority to her or she would have managed to fit you in that weekend, around all of her DIY projects and homework. I mean, she even went to that concert that is 2 hours away and didn't bother to invite you along. Hello, RED FLAG!

 

One marker I use to measure where I fall on people's priority list, is the number of excuses they make with me about how busy they are. Sorry. Everyone has the same 24 hours 7 days a week. So, the whole "I'm too busy to do a,b, and c" is just an indirect way to tell someone, "Sorry but spending time with you is not a high priority to me."

 

If you choose to play the role of "needy boyfriend" with a woman you date, it's because you're allowing her to treat you like an option at her whim, rather than treat you with respect because she wants to spend time with you. Does that make sense? When you are with the right woman -- who is your ally -- she will not treat you like an option in any way, shape, or form. She will not treat you like your feelings don't matter, like your time doesn't matter, like your views are irrelevant or stupid. The right woman who is your ally, will support you, respect you, and compliment your life, not negate it or take away from it. *end soap box"

 

Don't make someone a priority, who only makes you an option.

Edited August 24, 2019 by Watercolors

[spiderowl]

I am sorry to hear what's happened Oats. It's a real shame that issues have arisen when you are so well matched in some ways.

 

I can understand your frustration with the schedules. I am a hopeless timekeeper so I sort of sympathise with her stress at being on a schedule, but honestly she sounds much worse than me! If I go out with someone and they have to be somewhere else by a certain time, then I am conscious of that and respect their appointment. I might avoid meeting them if they have a commitment later if I feel it would spoil our meeting by not giving us much time together to relax, but that's a different matter.

 

To a certain extent, one might expect issues to bubble up gradually and for there to be a frank discussion of them. It sounds like she tends to be accusatory though and that's not kind. Your suggestion of asking a friend to look at her car is very kind and resourceful. She should be pleased you are willing to help out with things like that.

 

I know sometimes when something is nagging about a relationship, then almost anything can trigger an argument and may not be what it is about at all. She seems to feel tense and controlled. I get the feeling she is just used to doing what she wants when she wants and finds any kind of commitment of time constraining. I can understand that - it is one thing that happens when you are in a relationship because you have someone else to consider too.

 

Maybe she is just not able to cope with a commitment to anyone? Has she been on her own a long time? Perhaps she is used to being in control and being the one who decides what, where, when, and the other person has gone along with it? Who knows?

 

It could be this time commitment thing covers another issue, being unsure of the relationship? Maybe that is something that is bound to happen at some stage? It is hard to discuss anything when you are feeling accused by the other person.

 

I suppose one thing that occurred to me is that it is a time when maybe you are both feeling insecure about how things are going. Maybe getting attached and starting to feel vulnerable. It could be that having other time commitments that you are concerned about signals to her that you are going to put others first and may not feel as committed as her? I am only putting this forward as a possibility as I have felt similarly in relationships where I have felt the guy is 'limiting' our time together as if his diary is more important. I want to feel he will 'be there' for me if it really matters.

 

None of the above may be relevant or helpful; they are just thoughts and ramblings that came to mind. I really hope this is resolved for you in a good way as I know that intellectual connection is so very hard to find.

Edited August 24, 2019 by spiderowl

[Highndry]

I'm not sure if it's just your writing style or what, but you're giving off an emo vibe, which is something which would surely turn off most women. Why couldn't you just have said "great to hear from you, let me know when you're available to meet up," and left it at that? Instead, you're getting all needy talking about how if you can't see her that weekend then it's going to be a long time until you do or whatever. I am not surprised at how things ended - you're putting pressure on her. I am not trying to criticize you, I am just stating my thoughts based upon what you've written here.

[Watercolors]

I'm not sure if it's just your writing style or what, but you're giving off an emo vibe, which is something which would surely turn off most women. Why couldn't you just have said "great to hear from you, let me know when you're available to meet up," and left it at that? Instead, you're getting all needy talking about how if you can't see her that weekend then it's going to be a long time until you do or whatever. I am not surprised at how things ended - you're putting pressure on her. I am not trying to criticize you, I am just stating my thoughts based upon what you've written here.

 

I think you are 100% wrong and here's why. She showed him when they first met, that she didn't prioritize his time over her time, based on how she responded to his requests to make dates with her.

 

She was always dismissive and rude to him, which she was again, when he tried to give the fizzled relationship a second chance. She again, dismissed his feelings, and lied about her availability to him going to a concert without him, when she'd lied to him telling him she was super busy and couldn't see him.

 

Then, when he set up boundaries with her by giving her a window of time he had available, she balked by making the same excuses she's always made; that she has no time, which is just an excuse to hide the fact that she really doesn't like the OP otherwise she would have managed her time with her DIY projects and homework and agreed to meet up with the OP for a date.

 

Basically, the OP dated a woman who was very self-absorbed and selfish and who didn't prioritize the OP's time over her own. No way is the OP "emo" or needy. He stated clearly stated to this woman what his expectations were about his availability for the weekend and getting together (since they live one hour away from each other so travel time is involved). Instead of setting aside time to meetup with the OP, she chose to deflect and make excuses so that's on her, not the OP.

[Wanderlust2018]

 

One marker I use to measure where I fall on people's priority list, is the number of excuses they make with me about how busy they are. Sorry. Everyone has the same 24 hours 7 days a week. So, the whole "I'm too busy to do a,b, and c" is just an indirect way to tell someone, "Sorry but spending time with you is not a high priority to me."

 

Agree with this and I’m the same way.

 

One woman I dated was always “sooo busy...” and it was for the most part trivial and unnecessary BS. For example, she didn’t have an ATM card, despite having credit cards, and liked to always carry some cash. Fair enough, but one of her regular busy “tasks” was having to drive to the bank, and stand in line, to get cash. It’s not a huge bank with limited branches so with the drive time, waiting in line, it was seriously a half hour endeavor, or more, sometimes. I once asked her, why don’t you just get an ATM card and get cash wherever to save you some

time?!? She mentioned that a cousin or niece or someone like that had been robbed at an ATM 10 years ago...uh, ok. This same woman would go to the grocery store damn near every day, where guess what, there was an ATM inside, in full view of people, if “safety” was any real concern. This is just one example, but her days and spare time were FILLED with stuff like this. I’m just wired to maximize my free time and get through all my chores or errands as quickly as possible so that I can have fun. Time is a finite commodity and to me, that half hour or more she spent a week doing that was a complete waste of time. Multiply that by 5 or 10 other things or tasks that could be more fluid and there you go...hours spent doing things that could be made so much easier. There’s a reason I love things like bill pay through my bank; my free time is just way too valuable to me to be sitting down, writing out paper checks, mailing off envelopes. Just another example of some of the “business” people create and no thanks.

 

BTW, this same woman had NO concept of time, would constantly get lost like described, despite having gps on her iPhone and was pretty self absorbed as well. It took her nearly a year to actually remember (without gps) which exit to take off the highway to get to my house. Not even kidding.

Edited August 25, 2019 by Wanderlust2018
Content

[Watercolors]

Agree with this and I’m the same way.

 

Great minds think alike, Wanderlust!

 

I've dated men the same way -- self absorbed who would just straight up be a no-show on dates they arranged with me without so much a text or phone call. Or, they'd be late and wouldn't apologize or would act defensive when I'd tell them how their lateness made me feel.

 

I can't even be friends with people who monopolize my time with their lateness or no-show on me. It's like you said, time is finite and our free time is a valuable commodity.

 

Sounds like that woman you described loved to make excuses to treat you like dirt. Honestly, her excuse not to get an ATM card is stupid. ATMs are everywhere in public. I think she's one of those people who treats the entire world as though the world owes her something, and god forbid you hold these types of people accountable for their behavior. I've tried and each time was met with gaslighting or deflection, never any apology.

Edited August 25, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[Wanderlust2018]

I've dated men the same way -- self absorbed who would just straight up be a no-show on dates they arranged with me without so much a text or phone call. Or, they'd be late and wouldn't apologize or would act defensive when I'd tell them how their lateness made me feel.

 

I can't even be friends with people who monopolize my time with their lateness or no-show on me. It's like you said, time is finite and our free time is a valuable commodity.....

 

Blatant flakiness, and no-showing is a deal breaker for me. Not prioritizing me ranks up there pretty high as well. I’m flexible, to a point, with things like someone being late on occasion, but not habitually so. We all have a lot going on.

 

I’ve often thought that despite technology, i.e., cell phones and the ability to take a few seconds to msg someone, people in general are just more flakey than ever. I grew up in the world of landline phones, and it was just never this way years ago, before the cell phone age.

 

Yes, very self absorbed and I’m pretty sure she had ADD. She could never seem to focus on one thing long enough to really complete it or get through it, and it would just create more and more chaos with her time and schedule. She’d be working on a specialized certificate for her career online (courses), start clicking ads that’d pop up for clothes and an hour later realize an hour had passed and then would be behind on the curriculum or project. Then, she’d remember she needed to go to the bank to get her cash and would veer down that path. This happened constantly and drove me batty...

 

People use “busy” as a crutch and an excuse...plain and simple. We make time for what we want and what (or who) is a priority.

Edited August 25, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[Watercolors]

Blatant flakiness, and no-showing is a deal breaker for me. Not prioritizing me ranks up there pretty high as well. I’m flexible, to a point, with things like someone being late on occasion, but not habitually so. We all have a lot going on.

 

Deal breaker for me as well. There's literally no reason not to message someone that you are running late to meet up with them.

 

I’ve often thought that despite technology, i.e., cell phones and the ability to take a few seconds to msg someone, people in general are just more flakey than ever. I grew up in the world of landline phones, and it was just never this way years ago, before the cell phone age.

 

I don't think it's flakey, as much as I think, technology has made people lazy and entitled now. I grew up in the 1970s when LAN lines ruled and there were no voicemails, no answering machines, no cellphones, no computers. People had better MANNERS socially, before technology took over our lives.

 

Yes, very self absorbed and I’m pretty sure she had ADD. She could never seem to focus on one thing long enough to really complete it or get through it, and it would just create more and more chaos with her time and schedule.

 

She’d be working on a specialized certificate for her career online (courses), start clicking ads that’d pop up for clothes and an hour later realize an hour had passed and then would be behind on the curriculum or project. Then, she’d remember she needed to go to the bank to get her cash and would veer down that path. This happened constantly and drove me batty...

 

Sounds like a real fun relationship there. I don't know how you were able to endure that erratic behavior.

People use “busy” as a crutch and an excuse...plain and simple. We make time for what we want and what (or who) is a priority.

 

Yes!! And, it peeves me when people try to justify their lateness with a list of excuses. "Too busy" is just a myth. If a person wants to be a part of your life, they'll make the obvious effort to do so. Anything less than that, means you're just an option, not a priority to that person.

[OatsAndHall]

I'm not sure if it's just your writing style or what, but you're giving off an emo vibe, which is something which would surely turn off most women. Why couldn't you just have said "great to hear from you, let me know when you're available to meet up," and left it at that? Instead, you're getting all needy talking about how if you can't see her that weekend then it's going to be a long time until you do or whatever. I am not surprised at how things ended - you're putting pressure on her. I am not trying to criticize you, I am just stating my thoughts based upon what you've written here.

 

 

Lol.. I'm certainly not "emo"...

 

 

Her and I tried the "let me know when you want to meet up" early on and it just wasn't going to work given her loose relationship with time and schedules. Compound that with the fact that we live an hour apart and I realized I needed more set times. With the way she operates, she'd text me at 9am in the morning and want to meet up for an 11am lunch. That doesn't work for me, period. And, I will admit, I am a stickler when it comes to setting times as early as possible. My life is busy, I have limited free time and I need to plan accordingly. My work week during a sport season (I'm coaching football) doesn't end at 4pm on Fridays. I have work that needs to be done on the weekends so I need to know when someone is available so I can plan accordingly. If they want to meet up on Saturday then I need to plan on some later nights during the week or a longer day Sunday.

 

 

 

And, yes, I wanted to see her before my life became a hectic mess. I'm completely kosher with not seeing a significant other for a week or two when life becomes busy. But we're talking a solid month here; I missed her and I wanted to see her. From our "get back together" conversations, I gathered that she felt the same way but I was wrong. I can't name a woman that I have dated seriously that was okay with not seeing each other for a straight month.

[OatsAndHall]

Yes, very self absorbed and I’m pretty sure she had ADD. She could never seem to focus on one thing long enough to really complete it or get through it, and it would just create more and more chaos with her time and schedule. She’d be working on a specialized certificate for her career online (courses), start clicking ads that’d pop up for clothes and an hour later realize an hour had passed and then would be behind on the curriculum or project. Then, she’d remember she needed to go to the bank to get her cash and would veer down that path. This happened constantly and drove me batty...

 

People use “busy” as a crutch and an excuse...plain and simple. We make time for what we want and what (or who) is a priority.

 

 

We might have been dating the same woman...

 

 

I offered to cook for her at her place one evening. She agreed that would be fun and set a time to meet at her place. I drive the hour, hit town, and text to tell her that I was buying groceries. She told me she was running some errands but she'd be there at the agreed upon time.

 

 

I show up at her place and she's not there. I waited five minutes and decided to leave as I was irritated... As I was pulling away, she pulled up.. I took a deep breath, calmed down and headed inside.

 

 

Her house was DEMOLISHED. She was going on a ten day vacation in a few days and she had clothes and what not strewed everywhere as she had planned on packing that day. Bear in mind that I had talked to her at 9am that morning and she said she was going to spend the day packing.

 

 

 

She was a flustered mess because she didn't take care of anything during the day...I told her that dinner would take some time, I could handle it and she could take care of her packing. She bounced around like a hummingbird on Red Bull the entire hour I was cooking and it was making me tense. She didn't finally chill out until got a glass of wine in her system with dinner.

 

 

 

I don't drink (booze trigger migraines for me) so I had to take some deep breaths and calm down while I was cooking just so I could enjoy the evening. She was wound so tight that I just wanted to eat and leave. She did finally settle in and the rest of the evening was alright.

 

 

 

But, when I looked in the living room, nothing had changed. She still wasn't packed..

[El Duendecillo]

OatesandHall, Wanderlust2018,

 

I think the three of us may have dated the same woman!

 

OP, I have nothing much to add here, other than telling you that I think you made the right call ending it with her. I stayed and suffered way longer than I should have. But that's one red flag I look for now when starting a new relationship.

[Gretchen12]

I also like punctuality. But you got irritated and was about to leave because she was 5 minutes late. That says it all there.

 

I think normally being 5 minutes late is not that huge whether it's dating, family gathering or doctor's appointment. (Although one Germany dude I dated gave me a lecture for being 1 minute late, but didn't dump me.) I'm not saying you were unreasonable I think the relationship has deteriorated to the point where that 5 minutes meant to you that she does not care or value you. You feel taken for granted. It's not just 5 minutes. It's 5 minutes of insult. You've had it.

 

Then of course she felt your displeasure, and she has stress herself. So the nervous energy between you two just fed off of each other. This is clearly incompatibility. And the trust is gone. So there was nothing else to do but end it.