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First dates after work

snowcones

By snowcones
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snowcones Established Member

snowcones

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After a long, tiring day at work, the last thing I want to do is meet a guy for a first date. I'd be fine getting together if we were already a couple and further along in a relationship, but first dates are different. At least for women they are. There's a degree of nervousness and we want to make sure we look our best (hair, makeup, dress, etc). After work I look a mess and I just want to relax really. Assuming you don't have kids or work weekends, how do you do the week night first date thing?

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Foxhall Established Member

Foxhall

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as a guy I have found it is not good to be "tired" on a first date,

 

as you allude to one needs to be on their game and to have a bit of oomph about them to make a first date enjoyable,

 

perhaps if you tried a walk in the park or something, the outdoors might re-energise you,

 

but yes agree need to leave the first date until you are feeling fresh anyway to give it the best chance,

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snowcones Established Member

snowcones

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Honestly, I'm in the age range where most people have kids, so I think most of it is them not having as much time on the weekends due to having their kids. The rest of it is just them being anxious.

Flame Aura Established Member

Flame Aura

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I have never gone on a first date after work and never would, don't really think anyone would as it's such a terrible idea.

Shining One Established Member

Shining One

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The majority of my first dates have been after work. A few have been lunch dates during work if we happened to work close to each other.

kendahke Established Member

kendahke

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Why would someone suggest that anyway? Saturday morning coffee seems a better idea for a first meeting.

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snowcones Established Member

snowcones

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Why would someone suggest that anyway? Saturday morning coffee seems a better idea for a first meeting.

I don't know! That's what I'm wondering. I think it's because of the kids.

kendahke Established Member

kendahke

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I don't know! That's what I'm wondering. I think it's because of the kids.

 

 

Is this someone you've already seen in person or are you meeting for the first time?

Shining One Established Member

Shining One

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Why would someone suggest that anyway?
I always thought that women saved their "premium" dating time slots for men they were further along with. I considered it a good sign when a woman started making herself available on weekends. It was rare for a woman to offer me a weekend time slot for a first date.
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snowcones Established Member

snowcones

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Is this someone you've already seen in person or are you meeting for the first time?

First date, but more than one guy has asked for a first date on a weekday, and that's why I said "dates".

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snowcones Established Member

snowcones

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I always thought that women saved their "premium" dating time slots for men they were further along with. I considered it a good sign when a woman started making herself available on weekends. It was rare for a woman to offer me a weekend time slot for a first date.

 

 

I don't multi-date.

kendahke Established Member

kendahke

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I always thought that women saved their "premium" dating time slots for men they were further along with. I considered it a good sign when a woman started making herself available on weekends. It was rare for a woman to offer me a weekend time slot for a first date.

 

 

Hmmm, perhaps some do... I don't--not for a first meeting. Saturday makes the most sense for me because I'm not going to be as distracted by running my "got to do after this" algebra while trying to get to know someone new.

 

 

I'm also 59, so my 36 yr old daughter doesn't need my presence and supervision. I'd say that more than anything, that's the reason why weekends are off limits in the beginning for them... that and an uber-crazy job.

newyorker11356 Established Member

newyorker11356

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Why would someone suggest that anyway? Saturday morning coffee seems a better idea for a first meeting.

 

Not really many options.

 

Also, there's no way I would do a Saturday morning coffee date as I don't even drink coffee, and I usually sleep-in on Sat mornings lol

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snowcones Established Member

snowcones

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Not really many options.

 

Also, there's no way I would do a Saturday morning coffee date as I don't even drink coffee, and I usually sleep-in on Sat mornings lol

 

 

I prefer happy hour on saturdays.

alphamale Established Member

alphamale

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yea but who wants to waste a Friday or Saturday night on a first date that will most likely be lame. keep your first date "nights" from Monday - Thursday

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newyorker11356 Established Member

newyorker11356

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yea but who wants to waste a Friday or Saturday night on a first date that will most likely be lame. keep your first date "nights" from Monday - Thursday

 

I've done it before. Plus, I do actually prefer them slightly because you don't have to worry about going home early because of work the next day, especially if the date is going really well.

 

And sometimes, a Fri or Sat day is the only option.

Lotsgoingon Established Member

Lotsgoingon

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I've met people after work. Those dates, as I recall, were fine ... I'm a guy, but you've got me thinking.

 

The after-work dates that were difficult were when I was REALLY tired ... and not just physically tired but mentally tired.

 

So if I were to meet a new person after work, I would meditate or do something to clear my mind before meeting the person. Like can you close your eyes for a few minutes in your office before going out--something like that? Whatever activity rejuvenates you, do that. So, I would try to allow some time and not schedule for immediately after work.

 

As far as looking my best, hmmmm ... again, I'm a guy .. .but I imagine women take their makeup to work and touch themselves up right before the date. I don't know if you drive to work. If so, can you bring an extra outfit if you are worried that your outfit for the day will be wrinkly or whatever.

 

Good luck. Don't overwork of course. The main thing is to just show up ... In my experience, someone I have a great connection with ... my energy would come alive ... despite being tired ...

JEG88 Established Member

JEG88

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I agree with others that weekend nights, especially Friday/Saturday, are typically reserved for second/third/etc. dates. I do view women who make themselves available on those nights as more interested for sure on later dates.

 

I am totally fine with committing to an initial coffee date on a weekend morning/afternoon, that leaves me time to cut things short if it's not going well.

 

I have had no problems with weeknight dates, usually for a light dinner or quick drink to get to know the woman in person. I typically dress smart casual for work anyway, so for me I don't have much of an issue looks wise. But I can definitely understand the pressure women feel meeting a stranger and the pressure to look nice after a day at work that may have been stressful. In general though, I haven't had any pushback about not meeting on a weeknight, in fact I've seen it preferred by almost all of the women I've met with for a first date.

Curiousroxy86 Established Member

Curiousroxy86

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I don’t agree to go on 1st dates after work. I let the guy know I am free On Saturday/Sunday nights only.

clia Established Member

clia

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First dates after work never bothered me because I purposely kept them short, no more than two hours, and would usually do either happy hour or a quick drink or dinner. Even if I was tired from work, I could power through that. I usually just had to quickly touch up my hair and makeup and either wore an outfit to work that could work for a date or brought a change of clothes. Since I was busy with work all day, there was also less time to get nervous about the date. For me, that was a far better solution to potentially wasting part of my weekend on a first date.

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Maggiemay1 Established Member

Maggiemay1

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I prefer happy hour on saturdays.

 

Well then reserve that for your first date.

Meeting someone online is just an introduction and not a date. So make that as quick and convenient as possible!

 

Why get dressed up for a sat happy hour to meet someone you might not even like?? Keep your sat happy hour for friends until you actually meet someone you are willing to put your friends on the back burner for?

 

Are you online dating to get a social life ? Or are you dating to fit someone in around it? The latter is what you should be doing and arrange to meet when it doesn’t impact on your personal life but instead just getting home a bit later when you would otherwise be doing nothing?

d0nnivain Established Member

d0nnivain

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Assuming you don't have kids or work weekends, how do you do the week night first date thing?

 

I work in a field where one still dresses up for work so I never really looked a mess after work. My job is not that physical. I often have night meetings so staying dressed was not an issue.

 

I would throw a different pair of shoes (sexier) & bolder jewelry in my bag or car. I'd freshen up in the ladies' room; brush my teeth, darken my makeup & spritz on perfume. Ready to go . . .

 

If yours is a physical job or you wear a uniform, is there a place you can change & shower near work? Heck for $10 per month join that PF gym just to use the locker room if you can't get home before going out.

 

I also would never accept a weekend as a time for a 1st meet "date". My time off was sacred & I wasn't wasting it on a new person so it was after work or not at all for me. A quick drink at 7 pm on a weeknight with the built in excuse of gotta go it's a school night was perfect for me.

Edited by d0nnivain
Sparkyguy New Member

Sparkyguy

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I've always worked Mon-Fridays (basic). I've never been on first dates during the week, they always have to be on Fridays or Saturdays. I've never liked going out on Sundays as they're just depressing due to the thought of having to go to work the next day...

I have a somewhat labour intensive job of having to get dirty and things.

SumGuy Established Member

SumGuy

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After a long, tiring day at work, the last thing I want to do is meet a guy for a first date. I'd be fine getting together if we were already a couple and further along in a relationship, but first dates are different. At least for women they are. There's a degree of nervousness and we want to make sure we look our best (hair, makeup, dress, etc). After work I look a mess and I just want to relax really. Assuming you don't have kids or work weekends, how do you do the week night first date thing?

 

 

 

Can you just be honest with him? I'd expect he'd get the tired and not looking one's freshest after work. Heck if he is still up for it and likes you when you are not at peak, he's going to love you when you have it all together.

 

 

Also, letting him know up front you may be a bit tired conditions his expectations and you can see if he can pick up your spirits as it were with wit and conversation, and a nice drink.

 

 

In addition, it gives him a easy conversation opener about your work day. We've all certainly had bad work days, so it's an easy topic to bond over.

 

 

I get it though if one needs to get up early the next day and be on for work. Personally, 1 nights short sleep is nothing coffee can't fix for me.

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smackie9 Established Member

smackie9

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Freshen up at work...seen women do it all the time at my job..whether it's a date, or going out with the gals, meeting family for dinner, whatever...a change of clothes, touch up the makeup, fluff up yer hair with dry shampoo, mist on some body spray, swish some mouthwash and go. Takes 20 mins or less, boom you are out the door. Tired? grab an energy drink.

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