ThisisIt606 Posted August 3, 2019 Posted August 3, 2019 I met this guy a few days ago for ice cream (first date) and then we went for a walk after. We met on a dating app, I thought it was nice that his profile said he lived in the same section of the city as me. When we met in person he said he actually didn't live where his profile state but in a town about 25 minutes outside of the city... said he didn't know what his profile set it to the city. I thought that was weird, because you deffinitely have to type in your city to set it but whatever. I think it was probably just to get better matches but he didn't want to admit that. Anyways, I had fun in the sense that he was pretty easy to talk to as the date went on. He seemed really interested in me and kept saying things like " wow, you're just like I thought you'd be and that's great!" The more we talked, I wasn't too "impressed" with him and where he's at in life for his age. He started huffing and puffing on the walk and asked if I always walked that fast or if I'm having a terrible time. I said I do always walk fast and my friends say that too. Perhaps subconciously I was just trying to get home though... He wants to go back to school and while thats a fine personal goal, I'm definitely done with school and personally don't want to deal with dating a student even if he's working. On the walk he told me he'd like to go out again and I panicked and said I would too. It felt awkward because we weren't even parting yet, we were literally on a trail in the middle of a walk when he asked. He asked for my number at the end and then texted me saying he would text me this weekend and said how he had a great time, etc. Long story short, he texted and seems to want to go out again. I really don't want to... plus I'm super busy (work trip, side job, etc) things coming up. How do I let him know I don't want to see him again? (even though I said I would on the date) 1
basil67 Posted August 3, 2019 Posted August 3, 2019 "Date name, I've had second thoughts and this isn't something I wish to pursue. Good luck with your future dating" 1
salparadise Posted August 3, 2019 Posted August 3, 2019 Or how about [dude, name], you're a really cute guy and I really enjoyed the ice cream... but I'm seriously optimizing for status and wealth, and frankly, I believe I'm way out of your league. Good luck with your future dating, but aim lower. 3
JEG88 Posted August 3, 2019 Posted August 3, 2019 "Date name, I've had second thoughts and this isn't something I wish to pursue. Good luck with your future dating" I would agree with this. Though, I do feel like telling him you're having second thoughts could leave the door open to him trying to convince you. He seems like the type to get desperate/clingy, from the way the OP described him. Maybe replace "second thoughts" with "I thought it over, and I don't feel enough interest to pursue this any more. Good luck..." Semantics, sure. 2
kendahke Posted August 4, 2019 Posted August 4, 2019 OP--it was one date. All he's entitled to know is that you no longer wish to see him. There wasn't enough time invested for you to get bogged down with explaining yourself to a stranger you have no intention on seeing again. His expectations and his imagination are his to manage, not yours. 1
Highndry Posted August 4, 2019 Posted August 4, 2019 Just ghost him. If a woman ghosted me after a first date, that's fine. There's nothing there yet.
emeraldgreen Posted August 4, 2019 Posted August 4, 2019 Or how about [dude, name], you're a really cute guy and I really enjoyed the ice cream... but I'm seriously optimizing for status and wealth, and frankly, I believe I'm way out of your league. Good luck with your future dating, but aim lower. That was gold.
Lotsgoingon Posted August 5, 2019 Posted August 5, 2019 Don't worry about "hurting" his feelings. As long as you don't call someone names, you're basically OK. Hi x, I've decided that I am not interested in a second date. I enjoyed the walk and found you easy to talk to. But I'm not interested in a second date.
Highndry Posted August 5, 2019 Posted August 5, 2019 Hi x, I've decided that I am not interested in a second date. I enjoyed the walk and found you easy to talk to. But I'm not interested in a second date. Thank you for responding. The first sentence was enough, there's no need to repeat yourself. In fact, I think I just dodged a harpy. Best of luck. j/k 1
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