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How to Explain Living With Parents When Dating

JEG88

By JEG88
in Dating

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alphamale Established Member

alphamale

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if a guy is good looking and has a decent job and car but lives with his mom he should still be able to get dates...

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crispytoast Established Member

crispytoast

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if you're trying to save money bad enough that you moved in with your parents then you should be trying to save any money that you're going to waste on dating. just save your money and don't date and get your money saved up and move out sooner. Living with your parents is going to raise the eyebrows of most women.

Very true, very true

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JEG88 Established Member

JEG88

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I've been thinking about it. I will have to consider selling some investments to help the timing of my situation. It's not ideal, since I have always told myself to not touch whatever money I put in there if I can help it. But I can always reinvest, and property values are growing tremendously anyway.

 

It does scare me about getting too comfortable with my parents and short-circuiting my dating prospects given my age. I've seen both of my brothers stay at home well into their 30s before getting married, and I don't want that to end up being me. I think a part of me thought it was fine given that in the Hispanic culture, many people do live with their parents until they're actually married.

 

Going this route would probably cut my timing to the end of this year, so around 4 months.

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basil67 Established Member

basil67

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I should add that what I wrote about staying at home being common where I am due to cost of housing, it's only up until they get a foot in the door. Going back home to improve investments isn't so common.

preraph Established Member

preraph

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It is true what you said about it being more common in the Hispanic culture. Also once you get your own place there may be a bunch of pressure on you to take in other relatives. So depending on how that went it could end up being just as bad or end up costing you money. I just hope you think it all through and don't let family infringe on you in some way because having other family in the house is going to be just as off-putting to women you meet.

Foxhall Established Member

Foxhall

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just make up some story that your parent(s) are sick and need medical care and someone to help around the house.

 

this is the way to play it.

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Gretchen12 Established Member

Gretchen12

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Even now, I wish I was meeting people and attempting to date, but why even bother trying to get out and meet people? What if I actually do meet someone really cool that I like a lot, but can't sell them on the "living with my parents for now" thing? That would be kinda devastating. I dunno. It definitely sucks, and it frustrates the heck out of me. Especially because "saving money" for my future investment is such a passive act. It just feels like I literally have to sit around, twiddling my thumbs, wasting my life away, while I wait for my money to add up. *sigh*

 

Your folks are not doing you any favors. I think they should boot you out and set you free. That's the best thing they can do for you. You don't need to own a house, you just need to get out of your parents' shadows so you can grow.

Edited by a LoveShack.org Moderator
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thefooloftheyear Established Member

thefooloftheyear

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Millions of broke ass women on the balls of their asses spend whatever little they have on dating and/or attracting a man...

 

I don't see why you couldn't do the same.....

 

You know....equality and all that shyt…

 

TFY

Inflikted Established Member

Inflikted

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Your folks are not doing you any favors. I think they should boot you out and set you free. That's the best thing they can do for you. You don't need to own a house, you just need to get out of your parents' shadows so you can grow.

 

In fairness, my mom has always been overly attached to me and very actively doesn't want me to move out and have my own life. My dad doesn't mind one way or the other. Like I said, I'm still contributing.

 

I know I don't "need" a house, but I just... kinda want one. Apartment life doesn't seem that appealing, I don't want any random roommates, and I feel like renting is a waste of money compared to investing in something to own.

 

Again, I do plan on actively looking to make a move next summer, after I've saved a little more money. It's just that my current living situation isn't really "bad". The worst part of it is that I can't attempt to date, sure, but even living in my own place, I probably won't make much progress that way, anyway, so it's kind of moot, isn't it?

Ruby Slippers Established Member

Ruby Slippers

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It does scare me about getting too comfortable with my parents and short-circuiting my dating prospects given my age. I've seen both of my brothers stay at home well into their 30s before getting married, and I don't want that to end up being me.

This is very smart. Living with your parents makes you an ineligible bachelor to most of the women you'd be interested in. So you're very smart to expedite this time of living with them and saving, especially given that you're already past 30.

amaysngrace Established Member

amaysngrace

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Why would you date if you’re trying to save money? Hold off for a year.

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Twizzlestick Established Member

Twizzlestick

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I’m in this exact situation. I’m very late 30s, moved over from Ireland. Had my own place there. I’m spending a few months with the folks whilst I search for a house in the right area. All my stuff is in storage. So living with my parents temp. I didn’t want to just randomly move somewhere strange. I’ve a good job, nice car (I know these on their own are mere trinkets but they give credit to the fact you’re not a bum on skid row rather you have a plan) and it’s a truthful and sensible story. A world away from the guy whole lives for ages at his folks like a man child. Had one date and that didn’t seem to bother her.

alphamale Established Member

alphamale

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Why would you date if you’re trying to save money? Hold off for a year.

 

one can date on a shoe-string

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elaine567 Established Member

elaine567

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I think a 31 yo man living with ageing parents presumably rent free, in order to save a great deal of money, doesn't really sit well with me.

Sounds like a guy taking advantage of his parents.

At 21 maybe, at 31 not a good look.

JMO

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amaysngrace Established Member

amaysngrace

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one can date on a shoe-string

 

Two burgers still cost more than one.

 

There’s money to save by only buying one.

Gretchen12 Established Member

Gretchen12

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Two burgers still cost more than one.

 

There’s money to save by only buying one.

 

I think your dogs each need their own burger.

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newyorker11356 Established Member

newyorker11356

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if a guy is good looking and has a decent job and car but lives with his mom he should still be able to get dates...

 

This. I'm 28 and still live at home with my parents for now, and it has never really hindered me in dating and having sex. Have some women not wanted to date me because of it? Probably, maybe. But my dating life, in general, has been just fine.

 

Currently seeing a girl that's in her early 20's, but has her own studio in the city. She doesn't care that I live with my parents, we pretty much just go to her place often to hang out and do "other things" lol...

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newyorker11356 Established Member

newyorker11356

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I think a 31 yo man living with ageing parents presumably rent free, in order to save a great deal of money, doesn't really sit well with me.

Sounds like a guy taking advantage of his parents.

At 21 maybe, at 31 not a good look.

JMO

 

Plenty of people do it, what's the issue?

 

Some did it to indeed save money and buy a house instead of wasting money on rent.

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snowcones Established Member

snowcones

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if a guy is good looking and has a decent job and car but lives with his mom he should still be able to get dates...

 

 

This is true. Yes, it is.

 

But his dates are going to expect him to move out within a year, which often does not happen, and then it starts to be a problem for the women.

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kendahke Established Member

kendahke

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Thoughts/Advice? Thanks in advance.

 

Air Bnb and good planning.

 

You have an economic goal in mind--this isn't a permanent lifestyle you're trying to take advantage of. For me, that would be the distinction and it wouldn't bother me.

 

Having just lost my mother, I wished I had quit my job and 55, taken my retirement $$ and moved in to take care of my mom for the last 4 years of her life. It would have been cheaper for me, I could have invested it in property as a residual income stream.

 

Do it while you can do it. The right woman will see your vision and support you.

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elaine567 Established Member

elaine567

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This. I'm 28 and still live at home with my parents for now, and it has never really hindered me in dating and having sex. .

 

You are still in your twenties, albeit late, once you hit 30 you will be expected to have your own place.

Even that younger woman you are dating will start to wonder "Why are you STILL living at home?" When she, early twenties has a studio apartment?

Respect dwindles.

The financial reasons start to get old. And it is then assumed you are incapable of living independently, you NEED your parents and to many women that is a turn off.

newyorker11356 Established Member

newyorker11356

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@elaine567....

Her lease on her current studio apartment runs out this upcoming May of 2020, and she has mentioned likely moving out of there. If our relationship progresses big time, I'd have no problem looking for an apartment with her and moving out.

Edited by a LoveShack.org Moderator
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chillii Established Member

chillii

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Ahhh, good plan l say , if you can stand living at home again for 12 mths, but eh, no pain no glory yaknow,

Any women with half a brain should be able to put that together , use her place haha.

Or you could just go with alpham's plan ,. spinem a story :bunny:.

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bckseat New Member

bckseat

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Thoughts/Advice? Thanks in advance.

 

Truth of the matter is that none of us is renting the property we live in because we are doing good financially. So no matter what you say here, you come off as loser.

 

Why not use this time to go to a gym 6 days per week and get a body you dreamed of. Then you can just say whatever, any girl you approach will have high interest in you and go with whatever you want. So advice is following, say the truth, but hit the gym 6 days per week and improve your body, realizing at age 31 and with your parents dating life is going to slow down a bit.

Edited by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Gaeta Established Member

Gaeta

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I would not date a man that thinks it's ok to get a free ride for a year to pile up money for himself. You're an adult. Put your furniture in a storage and rent a cheap room somewhere and do your thing on your own. That shows good character. My daughter is your age and she'd get 3 jobs instead of 'lowering' herself by moving back in with her mom.

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