I’m 33 just recently broke up with my 22 yr old gf

[Maddie82]

Look. I’ve had a hard year so can’t afford to take her out so I try to pool her by spending time with her. I’m not trying to buy her. I cook for her and come to get her and motivate her to finish school. I do things for her it’s not one sided

 

It was with your ex. Many of us have hard times financially. You're not the only one that struggles and hates their job. But you have no motivation to make anything better. I really do think you should have some common courtesy and pay her back. It's the decent and human thing to do.

[Blanco]

Out of curiosity, how old is the new girlfriend?

[elaine567]

Out of curiosity, how old is the new girlfriend?

She's still in school...

[GrateHelx]

Out of curiosity, how old is the new girlfriend?

 

She’s about to turn 25

[kendahke]

You think my family would suggest her do that?

 

 

I wasn't talking about your family--I was talking about her family and those people in her life who do love her, care about her and don't want to see her on the receiving end of some messiness.

[kendahke]

It's an unsecured loan with no paperwork, no promissary note, no nothing. If he doesn't pay her back there's not a damn thing she can do about it except maybe file a claim in small claims court and hope for a sympathetic judge.

 

 

And then there's the "cousin Bubba" kind of payback that has nothing to do with the court, paperwork or the lack thereof...

 

 

OP's approach might have been good for a chuckle about 10 years ago, but these days, people aren't here for the foolishness anymore.

Edited August 4, 2019 by kendahke

[Maddie82]

I felt personally attacked. She didn’t really have my back and she shouldn’t have engaged with my family about my issues. She knows more than them. That’s between me and her. She threw me under the bus to people who will use it against me. I’m a very private person i don’t appreciate her doing that

 

You were the one that involved your family in the first place. This was all your doing, not hers. You are your own demise here. Why exactly would they use it against you? What have you done to them to make want to go against you? Have you not paid them back either?

[GrateHelx]

I got paid today and asked her to come get the rest of the money and she told me not to worry about it and keep it

[Maddie82]

I got paid today and asked her to come get the rest of the money and she told me not to worry about it and keep it

 

Post it to her. Don't keep it. Be decent. She's a really good person.

[basil67]

I never said she couldn’t vent or talk about us to others. I talk about her to others. But to speak to my family about me is a whole different thing. She embarrassed me in-front of people who are known to gossip and I want no parts in that.

 

If your behaviour was OK, you wouldn't be embarrassed. Also, if I was her mother, I'd advise her to speak to your parents about all the money that you are refusing to pay back.

 

Life rule: don't indulge in behaviour which you'd be ashamed for your loved ones to hear about

Edited August 5, 2019 by basil67

[GrateHelx]

Speak to my parents ? I’m 33 years old lol

[Maddie82]

Speak to my parents ? I’m 33 years old lol

 

And you can't look after yourself.

[basil67]

Speak to my parents ? I’m 33 years old lol

 

A 33yo who is bludging off someone else and who is embarrassed for his family to know what he's doing. I would use this information as leverage to get my money back. Parents would be shamed and pay your girlfriend on your behalf and then you'll be even more embarrassed about what they know.

 

It's called Consequence.

 

My daughter who is a similar ago to your 22yo did exactly this when a friend owed her money and wouldn't pay. His Dad was mortified and paid up straight away and she was no longer out of pocket. Problem is now within the family and no longer her concern.

Edited August 5, 2019 by basil67

[Tristian]

Since it appears the Op is already dating someone else we'll assume they have answered their questions regarding the breakup and call this one done.

 

 

Thanks for all the replies.