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I’m 33 just recently broke up with my 22 yr old gf

GrateHelx

By GrateHelx
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Maddie82 Established Member

Maddie82

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I told her i was seeing someone else i don’t think she wants anything from me

 

You owe her. Man up and pay up.

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kendahke Established Member

kendahke

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I can’t i don’t have any money

 

Second job--before a lawyer relative or friend of the family recommends she puts a garnish on your paycheck for her money.

 

 

You really have no choice if you don't want to risk a negative mark on your credit rating.

 

 

 

Lots of places are hiring and adults do what they must do to settle their debts.

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GrateHelx Member

GrateHelx

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Second job--before a lawyer relative or friend of the family recommends she puts a garnish on your paycheck for her money.

 

 

You really have no choice if you don't want to risk a negative mark on your credit rating.

 

 

 

Lots of places are hiring and adults do what they must do to settle their debts.

 

You think my family would suggest her do that? They’re the ones who motivated me to leave her lol

Normm Established Member

Normm

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Second job--before a lawyer relative or friend of the family recommends she puts a garnish on your paycheck for her money.

 

You really have no choice if you don't want to risk a negative mark on your credit rating.

 

 

It's an unsecured loan with no paperwork, no promissary note, no nothing. If he doesn't pay her back there's not a damn thing she can do about it except maybe file a claim in small claims court and hope for a sympathetic judge.

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Blanco Established Member

Blanco

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It's an unsecured loan with no paperwork, no promissary note, no nothing. If he doesn't pay her back there's not a damn thing she can do about it except maybe file a claim in small claims court and hope for a sympathetic judge.

 

I overheard enough Judge Judy from my mom over the years; without any paperwork, most courts will consider the money exchanged here as a "gift."

 

Unfortunately for the OP's ex, she'll just have to consider it a cost of doing business to be available for someone more mature and stable.

Blanco Established Member

Blanco

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I told her i was seeing someone else i don’t think she wants anything from me

 

You should probably not be dating while you are, by your own admission, barely able to make ends meet. You should be using the time you'd put into a new relationship into something that's going to help pull yourself out of living paycheck-to-paycheck. Most quality women don't want to be supporting their boyfriend/husband.

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GrateHelx Member

GrateHelx

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You should probably not be dating while you are, by your own admission, barely able to make ends meet. You should be using the time you'd put into a new relationship into something that's going to help pull yourself out of living paycheck-to-paycheck. Most quality women don't want to be supporting their boyfriend/husband.

 

Dating isn’t hindering me from pulling myself together. I already have decided that i will wait until next February and either pay off my credit cards and loans with my income tax or take out a 401 k loan because I don’t have the means to pay my bills

Blanco Established Member

Blanco

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So what are you going to do for six months? Leech off this new woman and have the cycle repeat itself?

 

Why not spend this time figuring out what your future is going to look like, since it sounds like you despise your job that isn't even able to provide you with financial security? Dating is just going to be a distraction to addressing this problem that isn't going anywhere if you don't change something.

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snowcones Established Member

snowcones

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Maybe she did it because you appear to be drowning and need help. You need people who care about you to know.

b1a6 Member

b1a6

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Oh wow, just wow... how stubborn can you be? I agree with others who say that she deserves better than you. What a fragile ego

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basil67 Established Member

basil67

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First she told me i could do payments then she said i didn’t have to because she knew my situation so i don’t think she wants me to

 

Sounds like the woman is a selfish cow. I can see why you don't want her as a girlfriend. /sarcasm

 

Truly though, if I was her mother, I'd be so grateful to you for dumping her.

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GrateHelx Member

GrateHelx

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So what are you going to do for six months? Leech off this new woman and have the cycle repeat itself?

 

Why not spend this time figuring out what your future is going to look like, since it sounds like you despise your job that isn't even able to provide you with financial security? Dating is just going to be a distraction to addressing this problem that isn't going anywhere if you don't change something.

 

No I learned my lesson to not interfere my significant other in my personal finances

Blanco Established Member

Blanco

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No I learned my lesson to not interfere my significant other in my personal finances

 

But if you're having trouble making ends meet, how will you do basic relationship stuff? Even doing modest things on a semi-regular basis adds up when you're in a relationship.

 

It's disappointing to read through all this and infer that you seem to think the real issue here was your ex.

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GrateHelx Member

GrateHelx

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But if you're having trouble making ends meet, how will you do basic relationship stuff? Even doing modest things on a semi-regular basis adds up when you're in a relationship.

 

It's disappointing to read through all this and infer that you seem to think the real issue here was your ex.

 

A relationship doesn’t require me to spend too much money. I never really took my ex out I just let her come over and we spent time together at my house

Maddie82 Established Member

Maddie82

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A relationship doesn’t require me to spend too much money. I never really took my ex out I just let her come over and we spent time together at my house

 

So she did everything that she did for you and you never did anything for her, never took her out to show even the slightest bit of gratitude? Wow, your new gf is in for a shock.

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GrateHelx Member

GrateHelx

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So she did everything that she did for you and you never did anything for her, never took her out to show even the slightest bit of gratitude? Wow, your new gf is in for a shock.

 

When we first met I did but, I’ve gotten comfortable. So we haven’t went out this year

snowcones Established Member

snowcones

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And this is exactly why other people need to know what's going on in your relationship. Couples who isolate themselves are prone to abuse, mistreatment, and general dysfunction. You need that outside party involvement as a check and balance to prevent this from happening. To prevent the couple from living in a bubble. I'm actually proud of the girl for doing what she did at only 22 years old. It was something wise that she may not have even realized was.

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GrateHelx Member

GrateHelx

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And this is exactly why other people need to know what's going on in your relationship. Couples who isolate themselves are prone to abuse, mistreatment, and general dysfunction. You need that outside party involvement as a check and balance to prevent this from happening. To prevent the couple from living in a bubble. I'm actually proud of the girl for doing what she did at only 22 years old. It was something wise that she may not have even realized was.

 

I never said she couldn’t vent or talk about us to others. I talk about her to others. But to speak to my family about me is a whole different thing. She embarrassed me in-front of people who are known to gossip and I want no parts in that. I would never speak on her issues to her family out of respect for her. That’s my problem in this situation it has nothing to do with her venting it’s who she vented to. her telling them they assume I’m using her and I can’t stand on my own two feet she betrayed me and made me look like I bring nothing to the table ... that’s what the real issue is

Snow_Queen Established Member

Snow_Queen

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Sounds like the woman is a selfish cow. I can see why you don't want her as a girlfriend. /sarcasm

 

Truly though, if I was her mother, I'd be so grateful to you for dumping her.

 

You summed it up perfectly. He actually did her a favor. Now she can put her efforts into someone who cares.

 

As a mature adult, you’re supposed to discuss issues that arise in relationships so you can find the best solution to overcome it. She was probably nervous meeting the family the first time and was trying her best to get along. I highly doubt it was some sinister plan to throw him under the bus. Sounds like the OP was looking for a reason to dump her and this situation provided that opportunity.

snowcones Established Member

snowcones

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I never said she couldn’t vent or talk about us to others. I talk about her to others. But to speak to my family about me is a whole different thing. She embarrassed me in-front of people who are known to gossip and I want no parts in that. I would never speak on her issues to her family out of respect for her. That’s my problem in this situation it has nothing to do with her venting it’s who she vented to. her telling them they assume I’m using her and I can’t stand on my own two feet she betrayed me and made me look like I bring nothing to the table ... that’s what the real issue is

 

 

I understand wanting to keep private, especially around those who mean you harm, and that feels like a betrayal, but I've gotta say... everything she said about you was true. I understand having hard times financially but it does appear that you are ungrateful, entitled, and have taken her for granted. You don't even want to pay her back.

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GrateHelx Member

GrateHelx

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You summed it up perfectly. He actually did her a favor. Now she can put her efforts into someone who cares.

 

As a mature adult, you’re supposed to discuss issues that arise in relationships so you can find the best solution to overcome it. She was probably nervous meeting the family the first time and was trying her best to get along. I highly doubt it was some sinister plan to throw him under the bus. Sounds like the OP was looking for a reason to dump her and this situation provided that opportunity.

 

I felt personally attacked. She didn’t really have my back and she shouldn’t have engaged with my family about my issues. She knows more than them. That’s between me and her. She threw me under the bus to people who will use it against me. I’m a very private person i don’t appreciate her doing that

Edited by GrateHelx
Versacehottie Established Member

Versacehottie

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I never said she couldn’t vent or talk about us to others. I talk about her to others. But to speak to my family about me is a whole different thing. She embarrassed me in-front of people who are known to gossip and I want no parts in that. I would never speak on her issues to her family out of respect for her. That’s my problem in this situation it has nothing to do with her venting it’s who she vented to. her telling them they assume I’m using her and I can’t stand on my own two feet she betrayed me and made me look like I bring nothing to the table ... that’s what the real issue is

 

In all due respect....what do you bring to the table?

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Maddie82 Established Member

Maddie82

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When we first met I did but, I’ve gotten comfortable. So we haven’t went out this year

 

Your poor current gf. She has no idea what she is in for. I don't believe you are 33. You actually act and talk like a young lazy teenager who doesn't want to make an effort for anyone or anything. I'm having a hard time believing any of this story is actually true because no one can be this dull and heartless.

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Maddie82 Established Member

Maddie82

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I never said she couldn’t vent or talk about us to others. I talk about her to others. But to speak to my family about me is a whole different thing. She embarrassed me in-front of people who are known to gossip and I want no parts in that. I would never speak on her issues to her family out of respect for her. That’s my problem in this situation it has nothing to do with her venting it’s who she vented to. her telling them they assume I’m using her and I can’t stand on my own two feet she betrayed me and made me look like I bring nothing to the table ... that’s what the real issue is

 

It's true though. You brought nothing to the table, ever. Everyone else bails you out because you can't be bothered to help yourself.

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GrateHelx Member

GrateHelx

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Your poor current gf. She has no idea what she is in for. I don't believe you are 33. You actually act and talk like a young lazy teenager who doesn't want to make an effort for anyone or anything. I'm having a hard time believing any of this story is actually true because no one can be this dull and heartless.

 

Look. I’ve had a hard year so can’t afford to take her out so I try to pool her by spending time with her. I’m not trying to buy her. I cook for her and come to get her and motivate her to finish school. I do things for her it’s not one sided

While the thread author can add an update and reopen discussion, this thread was last posted in over a month ago. Want to continue the conversation? Feel free to start a new thread instead!
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