I’m 33 just recently broke up with my 22 yr old gf

[Maddie82]

lt's a shame , she was sounding like a great little lady until the last bit.

God knows why she did that , what did she say ?

At any rate , l don't blame you, got no time for a woman that would turn around and do something like that , especially after giving the way she had been and seemingly being a very good hearted person. To me it's like so why do all that if it's all just bs and deep down she's resenting it and will throw it in my face.

 

l don't care how old she is that's two faced and betraying. My ex w was 22 when we met and genuinely good willed and natured but we did go through a lot of stuff. Yet l've also got a huge family that are enough to rattle anyone yet never in 19yrs did she ever do a flip like that about us to my family or friends.

 

It wasn't two faced at all. His family knew of his financial troubles and one member asked how he was doing. She told the truth (no maliciousness intended on her part because he hadn't told her not to say anything) and he threw and tantrum and dumped her. I don't feel its fair that she gets slammed after everything she had done for him. He would've been screwed without her. OP now needs to get a grip and sort his life out to be able to support himself instead of wallowing in self pity over stupid things.

Edited August 2, 2019 by Maddie82

[schlumpy]

Do you not have a sense of humor?

 

Are you always one big open wound?

 

You're the one who should have told your family what she did for you. Can you spell the word gratitude?

 

My wife (then my girlfriend) came back to the apartment every day on her lunch hour to make sure I wasn't dead when I had the flu and I was close to being dead. She was my nurse for the whole week.

 

It made me realize how terrific a person she was compared me and how I'd be a fool to let her get away. It should have done the same to you except you were too busy worrying about your wardrobe.

 

Stop whatever you doing right now, prostrate yourself in front of her and beg her to take you back.

 

Best Wishes

[GrateHelx]

You did her a favour. Hopefully she will not forgive you when you come crawling back.

 

I did her a favor by being betrayed she opened up a can of worms i front of my family ?

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[GrateHelx]

She was just answering your family's initial questions. Sounds like she was simply telling the truth, rather than complaining and defaming you. Did you tell her you want it to be a secret? I guess no? She wouldnt know you are embarrassed about yourself.

 

She talked about how much she loved me and i guess went on a spoke on how she’s been helping me through these months but went into detail

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[GrateHelx]

lt's a shame , she was sounding like a great little lady until the last bit.

God knows why she did that , what did she say ?

 

 

One of my family members spoke on my finances to her and she started talking about it too. She told them she loved me but she overstepped boundaries here

Edited August 2, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
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[Maddie82]

I did her a favor by being betrayed she opened up a can of worms i front of my family ?

 

A can of worms YOU opened by borrowing money from your family in the first place. You are the one that involved them. They knew of your troubles and that's not her fault. Just admit you are being over sensitive and immature about this. You threw away a really good person. Its a bit petty.

[GrateHelx]

Do you not have a sense of humor?

 

Are you always one big open wound?

 

You're the one who should have told your family what she did for you. Can you spell the word gratitude?

 

 

She broke the trust. Do you not see that

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[Maddie82]

One of my family members spoke on my finances to her and she started talking about it too. She told them she loved me but she overstepped boundaries here

 

So why didn't you speak to her before she met your family and tell her you didn't want certain things talked about? She's not a mind reader. She wasn't being malicious. This is not about her talking about your issues. This is about your ego taking a dent because of those issues and you're punishing her for it.

[Maddie82]

She broke the trust. Do you not see that

 

Do you not see how ridiculous you are being?

[GrateHelx]

So why didn't you speak to her before she met your family and tell her you didn't want certain things talked about? She's not a mind reader. She wasn't being malicious. This is not about her talking about your issues. This is about your ego taking a dent because of those issues and you're punishing her for it.

 

It’s common courtesy. You wouldn’t blab about her issues at a gathering. She was being very childish and tried to make herself look like i was a loser

[Timshel]

She is better off without you, in several ways. Ironically, you eventually will be as well, as you must now fend for yourself and stand on your own two feet.

At some point when your head is clearer, thanking her would be a good thing to do.

[Maddie82]

It’s common courtesy. You wouldn’t blab about her issues at a gathering. She was being very childish and tried to make herself look like i was a loser

 

You are so deluded. She didn't blab. They already knew about your problems. You were the one that involved them. Not her. You are the one being childish and utterly ridiculous and immature here. She's had a lucky escape IMO. You've treated her pretty badly.

[GrateHelx]

She is better off without you, in several ways. Ironically, you eventually will be as well, as you must now fend for yourself and stand on your own two feet.

At some point when your head is clearer, thanking her would be a good thing to do.

 

I have been standing on my feet this has just been a rough couple of months

[Versacehottie]

Since your ex was willing to put up with all your whining, stress, money issues, and was willing you help you physically, mentally and financially, I really dont see why she would then intentionally humiliate you and hurt you in front of your families. It just doesnt make sense.

 

 

She was just answering your family's initial questions. Sounds like she was simply telling the truth, rather than complaining and defaming you. Did you tell her you want it to be a secret? I guess no? She wouldnt know you are embarrassed about yourself.

 

Without knowing exactly what she said, Im inclined to believe you were being overly sensitive because of your financial insecurity/lack of financial confidence. It's very common for guys to become neurotic and have a very fragile self esteem when they go under big financial crisis.

 

Totally agree with the bolded. I thought the same thing and was wondering if what he said she said at the meeting with his family was what really happened or his exaggerated interpretation of it due to his over-sensitive and one-sided view of things in general.

 

Now OP has added the additional info that it was a family member who he has borrowed money from who started the question--seems like out of concern TBH--and the gf responded. SMH.

 

Sorry, OP, that you are down on your luck but when you borrow money from people, you open yourself up for this kind of stuff. You want to keep it private, go borrow the money for a financial institution and tell no one.

[stillafool]

How is that ungrateful? Because she aired our business to people I hold close

 

It's ungrateful because this girl has been holding your life together for you for months. BTW, when you broke up with her did you give her a check to cover all the money she spent on you during your down times? Now that you are feeling better it's time to look for a second job.

[GrateHelx]

No i am barely making ends meet now

Edited August 2, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
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[stillafool]

That is why you need to get a second job.

[Kelliousme]

It’s common courtesy. You wouldn’t blab about her issues at a gathering. She was being very childish and tried to make herself look like i was a loser

 

And can you say otherwise? She helped you pay your mortgage/bills. She bought you expensive gifts and didn't get upset for getting just a card from you. She took care of you when you're sick. Bought you clothes when you whined about having torn/old clothes. Basically she stuck by you through thick and thin, didn't complain at all, still professes her love towards you and you break up with her because she spoke the TRUTH in front of your family?

 

She didn't break any TRUST. Did you ever tell her not to talk about your financial situation in front of your family? If I had an ungrateful loser boyfriend like you I wouldn't stick around like her. I hope you understand that you're the one being childish and immature. If you don't want to be seen as a loser.. then stop being one. Saying "I'm starting to get back on my feet" doesn't mean anything until there are accomplishments to say otherwise. You're 33.. and she's 22. She had to take care of you financially, emotionally, and physically. And you threw her aside/called her childish because she spoke truthfully lol. I can't.

 

I agree that the best thing you've done is letting her go. You don't deserve her..

[Versacehottie]

You are so deluded. She didn't blab. They already knew about your problems. You were the one that involved them. Not her. You are the one being childish and utterly ridiculous and immature here. She's had a lucky escape IMO. You've treated her pretty badly.

 

May I add, self-absorbed?

 

Listen, OP, history generally repeats itself. What I have seen in the tale, is that you have a repeated pattern of whining at every turn and being ungrateful toward those that have helped you.

 

So she said too much??! And? it doesn't change that it was the truth and that whoever was asking already knew the gist of you being broke.

 

Honestly, on her side now, maybe it's a good thing that she sees how you act during tough times. People that lash out continually and don't know how to pull themselves up by their own bootstraps don't usually make good partners. I also tend to think that part of the reason you are in a financial bind is for the VERY same reasons. Let's look at this reasonably, the moment you borrowed money from her and family, you made this everyone else's problem as well. Sorry, that's how it works. Take on an extra job. Going to point out the obvious, you should be picking up Uber shifts and not having time for parties with family if you can't pay your mortgage--you need to be out there hustling. If I were in this position, that's what I would be doing and would lay low until you have a check in hand to pay family back--that's when they stop asking questions. Just saying. Priorities and perspective, man.

[Versacehottie]

It’s common courtesy. You wouldn’t blab about her issues at a gathering. She was being very childish and tried to make herself look like i was a loser

 

Tried????

 

Sorry she told it as it was. Albeit more than one would like. Whatever conclusions they drew, were based on the truth and your actions. That you just need to face.

 

I get the strong feeling that any discussion about you was just verbalization of what all the concerned people involved ALREADY think of you. I also think you are being too sensitive--it's you that is saying loser. Both your family and her loved you and stood by you--were not people who had given up on you, i.e. the opposite of having written you off. Concerned but not done.

[GrateHelx]

That is why you need to get a second job.

 

I mean i should but i don’t have that type of motivation

[GrateHelx]

And can you say otherwise? She helped you pay your mortgage/bills. She bought you expensive gifts and didn't get upset for getting just a card from you. She took care of you when you're sick. Bought you clothes when you whined about having torn/old clothes. Basically she stuck by you through thick and thin, didn't complain at all, still professes her love towards you and you break up with her because she spoke the TRUTH in front of your family?

 

She didn't break any TRUST. Did you ever tell her not to talk about your financial situation in front of your family? If I had an ungrateful loser boyfriend like you I wouldn't stick around like her. I hope you understand that you're the one being childish and immature. If you don't want to be seen as a loser.. then stop being one. Saying "I'm starting to get back on my feet" doesn't mean anything until there are accomplishments to say otherwise. You're 33.. and she's 22. She had to take care of you financially, emotionally, and physically. And you threw her aside/called her childish because she spoke truthfully lol. I can't.

 

I agree that the best thing you've done is letting her go. You don't deserve her..

 

It’s common courtesy she tried to throw me under the bus and make me look bad. Why do stuff and throw it in the air

[ExpatInItaly]

What advice are you actually seeking here, OP?

 

You are already convinced that you did the right thing breaking up with her, and have argued against every opinion to the contrary - so why post this thread?

[Maddie82]

It’s common courtesy she tried to throw me under the bus and make me look bad. Why do stuff and throw it in the air

 

You really don't see just how wrong you are do you! You just sit and whine and feel sorry for yourself. You think you are the victim when you're not. I don't think this is actually about what she said, but what you THINK she did was exactly what you think of yourself, that you do look bad because you are a loser with no motivation to make your life any better or easier for yourself. If you had any human decency in you then you need to pay all that money she gave you for your rent and clothing etc back. Its common courtesy to pay it back.

[Maddie82]

I mean i should but i don’t have that type of motivation

 

This is very sad. You mean you cant be bothered.