boudeaux95 Posted August 1, 2019 Posted August 1, 2019 (edited) I met this 22yo (I'm 25) girl a few months ago that gave me good reasons to think that she was interested in me at least to some extent. Even my friends were constantly asking me if I had already asked her out because she seemed to like me. It also turns out that, unfortunately , the only possible way that I have to talk to her now is via text message. So one day (after we were not seeing each other in person) I sent her a message telling her how much I enjoyed her company and if she would like to go out with me in a date. It happens that she didn't reply to me after almost one week excusing her saying that she was very busy with her job (I knew it might have been true since she was constantly saying how stressed she was, but who knows...). Then the conversation went something like: She: You wanna invite huh? I'm craving pizza ! Me:"Cool. What about next Sunday?" She:"I got something from 5 to 7. Just that." Me:"Ok. Let's meet at XXXX." That last message along with a laughing face emoji (missed-clicked the happy face one). Then she stopped responding, which was pretty weird to me. That Sunday in the afternoon I texted her again whether we were meeting at 7 or not. She didn't reply to me after 7 saying sorry that she had just finished with what she was doing. I said "Ok, don't worry. Can we meet another day ?" and she said "Yeah sure :(". At that point, I was upset because I thought she had flaked on me. I didn't even reply to her last message saying something like "Ok, I'll get in touch in a couple of days." But then I thought that I should have been more specific, confirmed the date a day before, and shouldn't have used that damned emoji because maybe she thought I wasn't serious. What is worse I wrote her back again after two weeks saying: "Hey, wanna go out tomorrow?" and since then she hasn't replied to me (two weeks ago). So what should I do now? Is it worth trying to contact her again or should I move on ? Was she never interested on me and was just being nice when she accepted to go out with me? Is she upset because I didn't reply to her last message ? maybe she thinks I wasn't really interested on her ? Was I too rude asking her out just with one day in advance the second time ? Did i wait too long to write her back ? Really need help with this one ! PD: Sorry for any grammatical errors. I'm not a native English speaker. Cheers. Edited August 1, 2019 by boudeaux95 Forgot to add something
kendahke Posted August 1, 2019 Posted August 1, 2019 She's not interested. Find someone else. Only she can give you answers to your questions. We're not in her head. Your English is very good. 3
Normm Posted August 1, 2019 Posted August 1, 2019 Maybe she prefers speaking on the phone? Some people go way overboard on the texting as if they've forgotten that there are other means of communication other than sending words back and forth on a phone. You say it's not possible but I seriously question why you can type words on your phone but not dial her phone number.
preraph Posted August 1, 2019 Posted August 1, 2019 She doesn't actually sound interested, like she probably has other things going on or someone she's really chasing or interested in.
Flame Aura Posted August 1, 2019 Posted August 1, 2019 She is not interested, if she was you would know. Do not contact her again. If she reaches out to you to setup a date then yea sure go, but otherwise, on to the next one.
Mrin Posted August 1, 2019 Posted August 1, 2019 OP's story in food: I was really hungry and there is this pizza joint about a half mile from my house that looks really good. So I called up and ordered a pizza. They said it would be there in 30 minutes. No pizza. After three hours I called again and they said they were just too busy to make my pizza. I went to bed hungry. About a week later I was hungry again so I called them up. The lady that answered said she was really busy and would call me back. I gave her my phone number. They haven't called back. It has been two weeks. I am starving right now and really need pizza. Think I should give them another try? Comment: find another pizza place or order Thai food. 4
The Outlaw Posted August 2, 2019 Posted August 2, 2019 If it's been two week with no response, she wasn't ever interested. If she was, she'd made more of an effort to make the date and keep it without an excuse.
Arieswoman Posted August 2, 2019 Posted August 2, 2019 OP's story in food: I was really hungry and there is this pizza joint about a half mile from my house that looks really good. So I called up and ordered a pizza. They said it would be there in 30 minutes. No pizza. After three hours I called again and they said they were just too busy to make my pizza. I went to bed hungry. About a week later I was hungry again so I called them up. The lady that answered said she was really busy and would call me back. I gave her my phone number. They haven't called back. It has been two weeks. I am starving right now and really need pizza. Think I should give them another try? Comment: find another pizza place or order Thai food. Priceless :laugh:
Versacehottie Posted August 2, 2019 Posted August 2, 2019 I think she possibly was interested but waiting until the day of to confirm, i.e. hours before, was what you did wrong IMO. But this point, she probably had written you off/lost interest since she had decided you were about to flake on her. Her tone also sounded like she might have had mixed feelings for you, i.e. not quite sure if she wanted to date you. I think 2 weeks now without a reply and the rest of what happen before that means she is not interested at this time. Sorry. And good luck on the next one. BTW, i don't think one emoji blew it. I do think it would have been better to have had more contact with her before the supposed date and then not to wait another week or two before you reach out again. In other words, I think you let too much time go in between contact and showing your interest. Even with a girl who for sure WAS interested, this type of behavior from you might cause them to lose interest or you might lose your opportunity because another guy got his chance in the meantime.
ExpatInItaly Posted August 2, 2019 Posted August 2, 2019 I don't think she was ever really interested, OP. She waited a full week to reply to your first invitation. That isn't the behaviour of a girl who is keen to see you, regardless of how busy she is. Everything else after that lends itself to a lack of interest as well, on her part. It doesn't necessarily mean you did something wrong. It could simply be that she enjoyed your attention but doesn't feel a spark. Or she has another guy on her radar and is more interested in pursuing him. Don't reach out again. You gave it an honest shot, but it would be best to keep moving.
Maddie82 Posted August 2, 2019 Posted August 2, 2019 No-one is that busy to take a week/2 weeks to respond to a text message. like the others said, she has never been interested.
smackie9 Posted August 3, 2019 Posted August 3, 2019 She's giving you the runaround because she is not interested....I used to do this myself in my teenage years to avoid having to reject them. She's hoping you will give up.
Lotsgoingon Posted August 3, 2019 Posted August 3, 2019 If someone doesn't make themselves available (easily available) they're not interested or their life is a mess, too much of a mess, to date. The rule: leave them alone. Once you've asked them out, the ball is in their court. You asked her out. She gave you confusing responses. Confusing responses are a "no." She's not available ... doesn't matter the reason. Keep going, brother . 1
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