Bobbyb82 Posted July 30, 2019 Posted July 30, 2019 Everything has been going smooth up until the past week or so... well really today. Long story very short. I went to see this girl at her work yesterday, after I got off. She's the only one there. When I walk in she sees me and runs at me and jumps on me wrapping her legs around me and hugging me. We talk about some things and I ask what her week looks like. She tells me what times she's getting off this week, works two jobs, and I tell her when I'm busy. I'm busy today until 7.. she thought she might have to work until around that time and asked would that work if she did. She then asked me to text her this morning to find out what her last appointment time is. About 20 minutes later when we were leaving we hugged, kissed and went our separate ways to our vehicles. As she was walking away, she said don't forget to text me tomorrow morning. Well I did text her at 10:30.... radio silence. The mixed signals are what has me confused. Thoughts?
kendahke Posted July 30, 2019 Posted July 30, 2019 (edited) Busy day at work--her boss(es) had other plans for her down time today. Does she make it a habit to flake on you last minute all the time? Is this a pattern of behavior or a one-off? I read no mixed signals--I do read some unrealistic expectations and not understanding that sometimes, plans don't work out they way they're laid out. Edited July 30, 2019 by kendahke 1
Author Bobbyb82 Posted July 30, 2019 Author Posted July 30, 2019 Busy day at work--her boss(es) had other plans for her down time today. Does she make it a habit to flake on you last minute all the time? Is this a pattern of behavior or a one-off? I read no mixed signals--I do read some unrealistic expectations and not understanding that sometimes, plans don't work out they way they're laid out. The only time she has anything that even resembled flaking is when I didn't set up a definite plan. And that was once. I guess today wasn't a definite plan either, but she's the one that wanted to make today work. And she's not that busy, she's posted to social media this afternoon. Believe me, I'm patient, maybe too patient... There are guys who would have blown her up.. just not sure what the right step is. She was REALLY happy to see me yesterday... i do realize the key word there is yesterday. lol
preraph Posted July 30, 2019 Posted July 30, 2019 She's busy with an appointment, right? You can't stop and text your bf in the middle of an appointment. 1
kendahke Posted July 30, 2019 Posted July 30, 2019 And she's not that busy, she's posted to social media this afternoon. l You have no idea what her work day was like unless you spent all day in her office and you didn't, so speculation doesn't equal what actually happened. Stick to "what is" and not "what you wished would be so you can be right". There are guys who would have blown her up.. just not sure what the right step is. Insecure boys would have blown her up because they are incapable of self soothing, something a grown man should have learned by the age of 17. She was REALLY happy to see me yesterday... i do realize the key word there is yesterday. lol She can be happy to have seen you yesterday and today, be so busy or distracted at her job that time got away from her. Those aren't mutually exclusive events. Her posting here and there to social media isn't her being caught up in a protracted, drawn out conversation with her boyfriend when she's supposed to be working, so don't conflate the two. 1
Author Bobbyb82 Posted July 30, 2019 Author Posted July 30, 2019 You have no idea what her work day was like unless you spent all day in her office and you didn't, so speculation doesn't equal what actually happened. Stick to "what is" and not "what you wished would be so you can be right". Insecure boys would have blown her up because they are incapable of self soothing, something a grown man should have learned by the age of 17. She can be happy to have seen you yesterday and today, be so busy or distracted at her job that time got away from her. Those aren't mutually exclusive events. Her posting here and there to social media isn't her being caught up in a protracted, drawn out conversation with her boyfriend when she's supposed to be working, so don't conflate the two. Yes, I agree with all of what you said.. We never get into long text conversations, I don't do that. The text just asked for a time of her last appointment, which she asked me to send. I don't chit chat by text message and she knows that. I'll just wait to hear from her.
Mrin Posted July 30, 2019 Posted July 30, 2019 Just tossing this out there but it is possible the text didn't go through?
Author Bobbyb82 Posted July 31, 2019 Author Posted July 31, 2019 Just tossing this out there but it is possible the text didn't go through? I don't know what the imessage fail rate is, but I'd imagine its pretty small. Still haven't heard a word from her.
Author Bobbyb82 Posted July 31, 2019 Author Posted July 31, 2019 Jumping to conclusions. Give it some time. Thanks Smackie.. Do you agree that I should wait until I hear from her?
smackie9 Posted July 31, 2019 Posted July 31, 2019 Thanks Smackie.. Do you agree that I should wait until I hear from her? She did say she has a weird schedule working two jobs, so you just never know. Give it a few days not to seem too eager. Then send her a text asking her how she is doing or whatever.
Author Bobbyb82 Posted September 27, 2019 Author Posted September 27, 2019 (edited) Recap of the situation from a woman I talked to this summer, she works in my city and lives about an hour away. We were seeing each other about twice a week, up until she had a work trip for which she was away for 10 days. After she returned from that trip we never really got together. This kind of thing happened one more time, so I just moved on and have dated a couple of more women since. Nothing with a real connection though. The above woman called me, a few weeks back, after she saw me at my office one night on her way home. I was nice, but I was busy and told her I'd talk later.. Then this past Tuesday night she stopped by my office when she was making the same drive home. It was late and I was the only one here... She had just bought a new car and said she wanted to show it to me, and for me to drive it. She was obviously excited, but towards the end of the conversation, after some flirting from her, she appeared to get nervous and told me that she had talked to a mutual acquaintance of ours about me..the acquaintance cuts my hair. I didn't pick up who she was talking about until she said her name twice. When i realized who she was talking about I said, "oh yeah, she asked me if we were still talking, I told her you were the busiest girl in the world". She laughed and said, don't say that. I should have just shut up and let her tell me about this conversation that she had....but I didn't. We laughed a little bit more, and she left. The conversation was real good, just like it always was. So I really don't know what her and the acquaintance even talked about, or why she would bring it up after little to no contact between us over the past month and a half. If I wasn't interested in someone I wouldn't stop by their work, and I sure wouldn't bring up a conversation that I had with someone inquiring about our status.. but that's just me. Edited September 27, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Lotsgoingon Posted September 27, 2019 Posted September 27, 2019 Share this challenge with some buddies ... male or female ... male and female. Your peers can help you come up with a plan. And would love doing so. Saying hello to her is a first step.
Maggiemay1 Posted September 28, 2019 Posted September 28, 2019 I’m confused! You have never gone out on a date with this girl? And why would she ask you to message her asking when her last appointment would be? That doesn’t make sense! Why wouldn’t she just text you when she actually knows when her last appointment is? What???
smackie9 Posted September 28, 2019 Posted September 28, 2019 Well the only thing I can think of is you need to be more assertive with your intentions and ask her out on a date. If she can't make the time you suggest and she doesn't suggest a different time, then you are simply friends zoned.
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