schlumpy Posted July 31, 2019 Posted July 31, 2019 You want her back. You have one chance and it's a slim one. You've made mistakes here that you may not be able to overcome. I think you got clingy because the whole time you thought you were talking about the relationships problems she was preparing you for the "I need my space" speech" which means it's over. You felt the change and got clingy. You have to go complete NC and hope that her new BF isn't what she thought. Take all her memorabilia and put in a box in the closet. Block her on phone and social media. If you run into her, keep the conversation civil and use one word answers if possible. Hell, just grunt if that will suffice. Don't give her a clue as to how you feel or what you are doing. Look up the 180 and apply it to your life. Don't let her back in unless she comes clean and maybe by then you won't want her back. It does happen. I think the odds are not in your favor so I would not be looking for her to hunt you down. Detach as soon as possible. Good luck and sorry you here.
Author UK4ever Posted July 31, 2019 Author Posted July 31, 2019 We are still friends on social media aka snapchat. She looks at my stories and I look at hers. Little things like this give me small hope of still being a chance with us. She always one of the first ones to look at my stories. Maybe I am overanalyzing the situation but I should probably remove her. But not sure if it is the maturest thing to do. I just question the situation a lot because I do not know if she is truly done. I truly miss her but I want to start the healing process at the same time if she is done. I want to contact her about if she is done but I do not want to come off as clingy as well. All of this is confusing.
Marc878 Posted July 31, 2019 Posted July 31, 2019 You're caught up in a hopium addiction and grasping at straws. When they want space it's for other guys. Your best path is to cut her off and block on everything. Stop making excuses to hang on. All you're doing is feeding a cake eater. She's fine with this. Gets to date other guys and have you in her back pocket just in case. You should wake up to where you're at and stop the doormat status. 1
Marc878 Posted July 31, 2019 Posted July 31, 2019 I want to contact her about if she is done but I do not want to come off as clingy as well. All of this is confusing. She already told you and shown you she's done. What more could you possibly need? 1
Highndry Posted July 31, 2019 Posted July 31, 2019 We are still friends on social media aka snapchat. She looks at my stories and I look at hers. Little things like this give me small hope of still being a chance with us. She always one of the first ones to look at my stories. Maybe I am overanalyzing the situation but I should probably remove her....I want to contact her about if she is done but I do not want to come off as clingy as well. All of this is confusing. Viewing your stories means zero. A woman who doesn't want to lose a man would never be doing what she's doing to you - would never risk losing him. The best way to handle this situation is to do nothing. Pretend like she does not exist anymore. If she wants you back, she's going to contact you. Until then, you have no reason to contact her. In the future, if/when another woman does what she does, you simply say "I'm sorry you feel like that, I love you and wanted a lasting relationship with you. I will respect your wishes and you will never hear from me again. Should you have a change of heart, you know how to get a hold of me. Best of luck." And then you disappear off the face of the earth, which includes blocking them from all your social media.
schlumpy Posted July 31, 2019 Posted July 31, 2019 We are still friends on social media aka snapchat. She looks at my stories and I look at hers. Join a writing forum and get some real opinions that may help you improve your writing. Quit using it as an excuse to allow your EX-Girlfriend to abuse you. You will find out that limbo is a very real place. Best wishes
PegNosePete Posted August 1, 2019 Posted August 1, 2019 Maybe I am overanalyzing the situation but I should probably remove her. But not sure if it is the maturest thing to do. You are overanalysing the situation. I should definitely remove her. It is the most mature thing to do - put the past behind you and move on with your life. I want to contact her about if she is done but I do not want to come off as clingy as well. All of this is confusing. Well put it this way. If she is done, then contacting her can't make things any worse. And if she is not done then she would like you to contact her. So really it's win-win. Go for it. And then when she doesn't reply or replies generically, you can remove her from social media and begin the process of moving on.
Maddie82 Posted August 1, 2019 Posted August 1, 2019 If she wanted any contact she would have done so by now. She was done the moment she broke it off. There is no point in hanging on to something that is no longer there. Remove from all social media and move on.
serial muse Posted August 1, 2019 Posted August 1, 2019 (edited) OP, whatever's been happening this past month, crying or not, space or not, isn't really all that relevant in the big picture. You crying post-breakup isn't why she broke up with you, obviously. I'd stop trying to analyze that part of things and instead think about the previous 5 years of relationship, in which you say you took her for granted. I have to admit, she was probably done long before mid-June. Frustration and anger over that sort of thing builds up over time. I don't know how good she was about communicating to you that she wasn't getting enough. But regardless, I think it's generally true that a 180 in response (meaning, whip-sawing from not returning calls and texts to being clingy) isn't generally successful at salvaging a damaged relationship - because honestly, it's just not that convincing! Unless there was ever a time where you two were equally engaged in the relationship, there's probably little reason for her to think it would stick this time. Not that you aren't genuinely sad and miss her, but once the intensity is over, would you revert? Why or why not? It may just be that she's figured out what does and doesn't work for her in a relationship, and that she's grown past the point of wanting the bad boy who keeps her at arm's length. I guess this is your chance to reevaluate that position, too. There's a solid middle ground between needy and distant. Still, in this particular case, you may just need to chalk this one up to a valuable lesson learned about unstable power dynamics in a relationship. I'm sorry. Edited August 1, 2019 by serial muse 2
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