Cora Posted July 28, 2019 Posted July 28, 2019 So I finally met the guy I was talking to for 3 weeks. I know that’s a long time to wait before meeting. He lives almost 2 hours away and he drove down to spend the day with me. We ordered sushi, talked, watched 3 movies and went out for pizza. I know it wasn’t the best idea to invite him to my place as I normally don’t do this, but I totally felt comfortable about it. I had a blast with him though. He’s super sweet, funny, cute and a bit quirky, but in a good way. We never got to play the card game he brought, but he left it with me so I could read up on it and said next time we will play it along with some other games he will bring. I really hope there will be a next time, but at the same time I’m not holding my breath because a lot of times things don’t work out and I never see them again. We are both very shy though. I was kind of hoping for at least a kiss at the end of the night, but we just hugged. Which is fine. He’s very respectful and I like that. As much as I like him and want to see him again I wonder if the distance will be an issue? I do wish we lived closer...it would be easier. Also his work schedule is a bit wonky as he works three 12 hour night shifts and then three 12 hour day shifts and then like every other weekend. That combined with the fact that I’m not sure he even had a good time or likes me. I mean he said he had fun, but people just say that to be polite. Eh it’s just my luck I meet a guy I really like, but we live so far away and have conflicting work schedules. So I don’t know if we will see each other again or how well this could even work out. Thoughts? 1
divegrl Posted July 28, 2019 Posted July 28, 2019 Well it can work if both of you want to make it work. I mean, how do you know that you really like him? You have met him once? And the only way you will know if he likes you is to give it time. See if he continues to contact you and plans a second date. Relationships take time to build. Authentic love is slow and steady. Have a beautiful day! 2
Curiousroxy86 Posted July 28, 2019 Posted July 28, 2019 Well I’m glad you had a date with someone you liked Just keep your wits about you He is a stranger He is long distance He has weird work hours That’s a 2/3 no go for me. The long distance and weird work hours. So yes you may be attracted and think he is fun and want to see him again. That’s nice to have that feeling in dating it really is. Just dont be blinded by it. If at anytime he says, does, or have a situation that doesn’t feel right for you then you have to have the courage to throw him back in the sea and keep on fishing. Assuming it isn’t a conflict that can’t be resolved of course. So if you don’t mind his work hours and long distance then keep dating him. You have to get to know him to find out if he is worthy to pursue a relationship. As soon as he shows you he is not then you got to cut him loose and keep dating other men Honestly this is the hard part in dating. You find someone you like more than everybody else you talked to. And you have to kind of put in effort to remain logical when your emotions are naturally effected by the “like/attraction/chemistry”. And those same emotions will have you accepting things that’s really not okay to accept. So just be careful with that. 1
schlumpy Posted July 28, 2019 Posted July 28, 2019 Will you see him again? Remember when women used to leave a personal item so that their new love interest would have a reason for contacting them again? What do you think that card game is? Best Wishes 2
Els Posted July 28, 2019 Posted July 28, 2019 So happy for you, Cora! Re: the distance... honestly, IMHO 2 hours is not that much. I know, I may be biased, a VLDR tends to do that to you . But really. I think that if you can enjoy yourselves so much with each other that a first date spans 8 whole hours, it's worth taking the chance on a semi-LDR. If you were feeling iffy about him I'd advise otherwise. I think for the time being you can just carry on talking and see if he's enthusiastic about planning a 2nd date. If he is, go for it, otherwise just assume he's not OK with the distance and move on. Good luck! 2
Ruby Slippers Posted July 28, 2019 Posted July 28, 2019 If you're right for each other, the distance and work schedule don't stand in your way. I've dealt with worse to give real love a shot. Him not giving you any kind of kiss at the end of a whole day together is more concerning to me. But as long as he makes a move soon, it should be OK. 2
Author Cora Posted July 28, 2019 Author Posted July 28, 2019 (edited) Thanks all for the comments. Yes, I know from past experiences that I need to keep my wits about me. He’s still new to me....don’t know him well enough to get all feels about him yet. And I am still dating another guy....he also asked to see me Saturday....would have been our third date, but I had to turn him down because this guy asked first. He texted me once he got home and said he had a great time and that the drive home was better because he thought about me. I replied “good thoughts I hope?” He said yes and explained that he wanted to make a move and kiss me, but was glad he didn’t as he wants to take his time. Said he can wait a bit longer and I agreed that I could too. He’s already picked out some games he wants us to play next time he said. So we shall see. In the meantime, I’ll continue to date other guys so I don’t get too hung up on one. (Which I’m known to do). Although, 2 guys I think is all I can handle dating at one time right now. More than that just overwhelms me. Edited July 28, 2019 by Cora
spiritedaway2003 Posted July 28, 2019 Posted July 28, 2019 Good luck! Two hours is not too bad if you two are willing to make it work. Take it slow, enjoy the dating stage. 1
LuckyM Posted July 28, 2019 Posted July 28, 2019 Depends if you are lonely and feel that he fills the need. If both of you like driving or don't mind the traffic, etc., then yes. Can you visit by train or bus? Frankly, it does not sound long term now, but who knows? A bird in the hand.... If I was very attracted, I would try at least. 1
smackie9 Posted July 29, 2019 Posted July 29, 2019 Tip: if a man doesn't go in for a kiss, you can if it feels right. That wait for the man to kiss you rule went out the window I think in 1974.
Author Cora Posted July 29, 2019 Author Posted July 29, 2019 Tip: if a man doesn't go in for a kiss, you can if it feels right. That wait for the man to kiss you rule went out the window I think in 1974. Well I would have, but I wasn’t entirely sure he was feeling me that way and I didn’t want to make him uncomfortable.
RecentChange Posted July 29, 2019 Posted July 29, 2019 Tip: if a man doesn't go in for a kiss, you can if it feels right. That wait for the man to kiss you rule went out the window I think in 1974. Totally! The second date with my now husband was one of those “spent the whole day and night together” affairs. I still remember when I went in for that first kiss. I could tell he was a little nervous and needed that green light And count me as another who doesn’t see 2 hours as long distance. I have had work commutes that long! And if it’s right, y’all make it work. We lived an hour apart when we met, and within 2 months he took a job 500 miles away. We made it work - I relocated 6 months later (after we traded off traveling to each other every other weekend). That was over 18 years ago.... sometimes things just fall into place when you follow your heart.
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