jspice Posted July 30, 2019 Posted July 30, 2019 Wow, someone making a polite request means she’s entitled? If I were her and knew the person I asked was ho and humming about it, I’d take the cab and probably never ask them for anything again. How disappointing that you can’t rely on the person you’re dating to ask for something without being considered as possibly testing the other person. 1
frus69 Posted July 30, 2019 Posted July 30, 2019 My issue was after she asked the favor he gave her an answer letting her know he had plans and plus it would take him an hour to get there. He (the person she asked the favor) basically let her know it was inconvenient and why. She didn’t care. See that's the funny part because when I read OP's convo, I was utterly confused if he was rejecting or accepting to help. Because in previous posts he repeatedly said he's happy to do it, but then in the convo he gave a whole bunch of excuse of how inconvenient it is. I was like "so do you want to or not"?? lol But yeah, I agree this one incident is too soon to tell and he should keep observing.
greymatter Posted July 31, 2019 Posted July 31, 2019 Everyone is different in whether they would ask such favors of someone they are newly dating or not. Saying everyone is blowing it out of proportion is ridiculous. It's a discussion and people are allowed to have different opinions. As for me, I would ask a committed partner to do these things, but wouldn't impose on someone I've been dating for a month. I have plenty of other people I can ask, or I would just Uber. I wouldn't impose anxiety about a gate on a new dating partner. Oats, you were very nice to do these things for her. I think her wording was weird and off key. I know you'll be observing her all on your own, without all of the prompting in this thread to do so. 1
Maddie82 Posted July 31, 2019 Posted July 31, 2019 Wow, someone making a polite request means she’s entitled? If I were her and knew the person I asked was ho and humming about it, I’d take the cab and probably never ask them for anything again. How disappointing that you can’t rely on the person you’re dating to ask for something without being considered as possibly testing the other person. I agree. She is simply appreciating the one or two little things she asked of him and she is being vilified for it. People need to loosen up. She hasn't done anything inappropriate and simply trusts OP. 1
Maddie82 Posted July 31, 2019 Posted July 31, 2019 Everyone is different in whether they would ask such favors of someone they are newly dating or not. Saying everyone is blowing it out of proportion is ridiculous. It's a discussion and people are allowed to have different opinions. As for me, I would ask a committed partner to do these things, but wouldn't impose on someone I've been dating for a month. I have plenty of other people I can ask, or I would just Uber. I wouldn't impose anxiety about a gate on a new dating partner. Oats, you were very nice to do these things for her. I think her wording was weird and off key. I know you'll be observing her all on your own, without all of the prompting in this thread to do so. She trusts him, that's why she asked him and she appreciates him for helping her out. It was only very minor what she asked of him, just to check if her gate was locked. Hardly a life altering favor is it.
Trail Blazer Posted July 31, 2019 Posted July 31, 2019 I'm not sure whether this behavior is a precursor to her being selfish/entitled, but it certainly seems a little patronizing to say, "you're very reliable." It could be just her weird way of trying to make you feel appreciated, but it's odd wording just the same. At this point it could really go either way. I am not convinced that he's testing you in a premeditated way. Subconsciously she may be, though. As others have said, just adopt a 'watch and act' policy. Be wary of red flags in her behavior 1
Author OatsAndHall Posted July 31, 2019 Author Posted July 31, 2019 See that's the funny part because when I read OP's convo, I was utterly confused if he was rejecting or accepting to help. Because in previous posts he repeatedly said he's happy to do it, but then in the convo he gave a whole bunch of excuse of how inconvenient it is. I was like "so do you want to or not"?? lol But yeah, I agree this one incident is too soon to tell and he should keep observing. She knows that I have no issue making that drive; I do it all of the time. It really wasn't all that inconvenient for me; it was inconvenient for her. Her flight came in at 730pm and I didn't actually pull up to the airport until nearly 830pm. And, she knew that I was committed until at least 7pm that night, before she even asked. It all shook out just fine. I got her from the airport, we went back to her house, watched a movie and I crashed on her couch (my choice of sleeping arrangements). We spent the next day together and it was fine. So, I know that she wasn't just looking for a free ride; she did want to spend time with me. I certainly wouldn't call her entitled or anything of the such. Like I said, earlier, I'm not going to blow this out of proportion. Things are going well and there's no reason to derail it. But, her phrasing does give me pause so I will be casually observing. And I do mean CASUALLY OBSERVING, not looking for problems.
Recommended Posts