Is he even worth it..?

[ScaryPanda]

Quick recap - known him for a little while, a very attractive guy, very warm but as I've found out, pretty selfish and manipulative (he's an only child so that might have something to do with it, manipulative as in he likes to twist my complaints, as seen below, to try and look better. He thinks he's a master at it but in my mind just ends up looking incredibly ridiculous).

 

We were chatting on the phone. He studies in my country and wants to come live here after uni, but is currently back in his home country, England. I'm still in "my country".

 

Suddenly he starts telling me how there's a really drunk guy, the woman he's with technically has to hold him up as he can't stand. She puts him into the driver's seat and two little KIDS sit in the back. She settles in the passenger seat. They drive off. On the other end, I even heard what horrible sounds the car made. He simply goes "woah that's weird.. anyway". Point being, he did not give a damn. There were powerless children there.

 

I started asking why he wouldn't call the police, he stalled and claimed that he doesn't want to "destroy a family", how "people do it all the time anyway", that he has this horrible fear and what not. In other words, a bunch of weird excuses. Listening to all that made me feel stupid.

 

I tried calling the police department in England myself, I could not get in touch. So I called the department in my country, this nice woman took all the info, thanked me and told me she is going to proceed. I had the number plate, the exact location and the car model. I told everything.

 

I am so grossed out. There were two innocent children involved and as I'm typing this, he is sending me paragraphs of texts that are all "woe is me".

 

I just don't know. Are his excuses even valid, I have no idea, my mind is all over the place. I am worried about the kids and at the same time, so damn pissed off.

[ScaryPanda]

I'm sorry, I'd like to add that if it was any guy I definitely would've dropped him like a hot potato. The catch is, aside from this, he is the best person I have met. When he gets confronted, he starts twisting and manipulating words to fit his narrative. But this incident made him look selfish and like an absolute coward.. He even admits it was horrible and that he is selfish but no empathy nor sympathy!

 

I am sorry, my head is all over the place.. I worry a lot

Edited July 26, 2019 by ScaryPanda

[preraph]

How'd you get the plate number? Did he willingly give it to you? If so, maybe he didn't want to attract the attention of the police himself because he too had had a couple.

 

I've only called on someone for that once and it was because they were swerving all over the road and in fact they went all four wheels off the road as I was on the phone with the police.

 

I'm trying to figure out why the woman had to come get him if he was going to be driving anyway. That makes zero sense.

[kendahke]

How do you know this guy wasn't spinning a tale on you?

I've known him for a little while, a very attractive guy, very warm but as I've found out, pretty selfish and manipulative

 

So you've inserted yourself into something in a completely different country which, at best, is based on hearsay by someone you admit is manipulative, and you have no first hand proof of anything.

 

Pretty wreckless, IMO.

[smackie9]

He's quite the story teller....

[Curiousroxy86]

Many women see red flags and proceed anyway and will kick themselves later

 

You already see the red flags

 

A) he is selfish

B) he is manipulative

C) he shows a lack of character/morals concerning how he handled seeing those kids being put in a dangerous situation

 

So there really is no reason to continue seeing or dating this guy is it?

 

Move on. You see the signs. You have been warned.

[alphamale]

*danger will robinson danger*

[Lotsgoingon]

I just don't know. Are his excuses even valid, I have no idea, my mind is all over the place. I am worried about the kids and at the same time, so damn pissed off.

 

Of course, you know. You say it right here. This guy didn't impress you ... freaked you out with his callousness. Keep moving. And lose this effort to make excuses and figure him out ... like you mention that he is an only child. Ignore that. All you want is an answer to the question: do I really like this guy enough to go out with again? Yes or no.

 

This guy behaved in a way that morally troubled you on day 1. Uh ... there's no clearer evidence than that. You don't like him for dating. Leave him alone. Move on.

[divegrl]

No he is not worth it.

 

Have a beautiful day!