amaysngrace Posted July 25, 2019 Posted July 25, 2019 Anybody else love having adults for children? In a way I still feel like my life is wrapped up in my kids, they are my closest relationships being a single parent, but I really just love how much time I have now to cultivate my other relationships, the ones I’ve neglected to raise my children. It feels like this is my time now. It’s strange that when you’re sacrificing for your children you don’t fully realize just how much you are sacrificing. Until you can get that all back. Anyway, just wanted to express gratitude for my life and especially for the people in it, including every one of you! 6
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted July 25, 2019 Posted July 25, 2019 That's so great . I look forward to that feeling! Gettin' close to the finish line . 1
GorillaTheater Posted July 25, 2019 Posted July 25, 2019 I'm past the tipping point: 5 adult kids (if the 18 year old counts, and it largely depends on the day) and 3 still minors. It's a lot of fun to relate to them as adults on equal footing. You never stop worrying about them, though. Or at least I don't. 4
Eternal Sunshine Posted July 25, 2019 Posted July 25, 2019 So why have children in the first place? I'm always puzzled how people complain that they have no life and how hard it is and how much they look forward to freedom when children grow up. Is having children some kind of biological impulse that has no rational explanation? 1
alphamale Posted July 25, 2019 Posted July 25, 2019 Is having children some kind of biological impulse that has no rational explanation? basically yes ES 1
GorillaTheater Posted July 25, 2019 Posted July 25, 2019 So why have children in the first place? Well, somebody has to wash my truck. 2
mark clemson Posted July 25, 2019 Posted July 25, 2019 I agree that at a certain point it makes sense to at least get some housework dividends from the large investment made in changing diapers, etc...
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted July 25, 2019 Posted July 25, 2019 So why have children in the first place? I'm always puzzled how people complain that they have no life and how hard it is and how much they look forward to freedom when children grow up. Is having children some kind of biological impulse that has no rational explanation? I don't know anybody that goes into parenting hoping to have to provide 24/7 care for other humans for the rest of their life. Relationships with children (or anyone for that matter) are still fulfilling and value-adding (to your life) even if you're not their sole care provider. I'm sure you have enriching relationships in your life with people you aren't soley responsible for. 1
preraph Posted July 25, 2019 Posted July 25, 2019 Well, somebody has to wash my truck. I regret not having them when I bring groceries home. They could unload the car for me! But then, if I had then, there'd be three times as many bags, so maybe not....I need a pack dog. 1
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted July 25, 2019 Posted July 25, 2019 I regret not having them when I bring groceries home. They could unload the car for me! But then, if I had then, there'd be three times as many bags, so maybe not....I need a pack dog. So funny you said that because when I read GT's post earlier I thought of groceries lol. I have something wrong with my arms right now and can't lift much of anything unless I use two hands. I do Walmart grocery pickup and schedule it around my kids being home for this very reason! 1
alphamale Posted July 25, 2019 Posted July 25, 2019 I do Walmart grocery pickup and schedule it around my kids being home for this very reason! well the rug rats need to earn their keep
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted July 25, 2019 Posted July 25, 2019 well the rug rats need to earn their keep Haha! Absolutely!
The Outlaw Posted July 25, 2019 Posted July 25, 2019 I’m 38, no kids and never married. Don’t know if I ever will be, but I’ve had a hand in raising my sister’s youngest. We adopted him because at the time, she nor his dad were capable of taking care of him when he was a baby. He’s 21 now, but honestly, he’s the closest thing to a son I’ve ever had. I did my best with him along with my parents. It’s more than nice having him around. I guess you could say I have a sense of pride having had a hand in his upbringing. He’s a good kid. 5
Author amaysngrace Posted July 26, 2019 Author Posted July 26, 2019 Is having children some kind of biological impulse that has no rational explanation? It has an explanation. It’s putting someone before yourself. It’s also passing on all your own awesomeness so that there’s more awesomeness in the world. 5
Mr. Lucky Posted July 26, 2019 Posted July 26, 2019 It has an explanation. It’s putting someone before yourself. Exactly. It also helps you understand your place in the world and puts things big and little into perspective. Hitting the winning shot doesn't matter so much if your child is sick, and losing out on the promotion stings less when you get that hug... Mr. Lucky 3
alphamale Posted July 26, 2019 Posted July 26, 2019 Exactly. It also helps you understand your place in the world and puts things big and little into perspective. Hitting the winning shot doesn't matter so much if your child is sick, and losing out on the promotion stings less when you get that hug... Mr. Lucky that makes me want to procreate 1
Foxhall Posted July 26, 2019 Posted July 26, 2019 It has an explanation. It’s putting someone before yourself. It’s also passing on all your own awesomeness so that there’s more awesomeness in the world. Great post amay. 1
Eternal Sunshine Posted July 26, 2019 Posted July 26, 2019 (edited) Exactly. It also helps you understand your place in the world and puts things big and little into perspective. Hitting the winning shot doesn't matter so much if your child is sick, and losing out on the promotion stings less when you get that hug... Mr. Lucky Yes it matters to you more (and to most people) - I would take a promotion over a hug any day. Having children is actually much easier than making it in adding some other value to the world. All you need is to do the "deed". The rest, you kind of have no choice, you just go along with it. Obviously trade off that comes with raising children isn't all that great if most people can't wait until children are out of the house. As for sacrifice - there are many, many other ways to do it. There are also many other ways to get/give hugs and unconditional love. However, since you have to actually earn it, it's much harder. You are actually damaging the human future by overpopulating this planet. Some would call that much more selfish. Having children is the easy way out. You automatically get a free pass to be mediocre in all other aspects of life. Edited July 26, 2019 by Eternal Sunshine
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted July 26, 2019 Posted July 26, 2019 Having children is the easy way out. You automatically get a free pass to be mediocre in all other aspects of life. lol wow. Sorry your happy post has turned into something so negative, AG! 2
GorillaTheater Posted July 26, 2019 Posted July 26, 2019 lol wow. Sorry your happy post has turned into something so negative, AG! Apparently that sunshine ain't so eternal after all. 2
preraph Posted July 26, 2019 Posted July 26, 2019 Yeah but there's a lot of unawesome people who have them and don't put them before themselves. It's not for everyone. I like to see women achieving their awesomeness before they have kids at least if they have something they're passionate about besides motherhood.
preraph Posted July 26, 2019 Posted July 26, 2019 So funny you said that because when I read GT's post earlier I thought of groceries lol. I have something wrong with my arms right now and can't lift much of anything unless I use two hands. I do Walmart grocery pickup and schedule it around my kids being home for this very reason! I hear you. I had a compressed nerve in my right arm for years but I finally got it straightened out, and then my knee started going. I went to the store yesterday on my own, but I am so glad that there is some grocery delivery now. I can go to the store and use a handicap cart , but the hardest part is carrying them from the garage to the kitchen. So when I'm real bad, I ordered them from the only place that will bring them on into the kitchen and I always try to have the dog food delivered to the kitchen. My back gets broken down every time I have to carry it. Of course those kids won't be around when you get really old and they'll be off having their own family and you'll still have to root for yourself.
noelle303 Posted July 26, 2019 Posted July 26, 2019 Yes it matters to you more (and to most people) - I would take a promotion over a hug any day. Having children is actually much easier than making it in adding some other value to the world. All you need is to do the "deed". The rest, you kind of have no choice, you just go along with it. Obviously trade off that comes with raising children isn't all that great if most people can't wait until children are out of the house. As for sacrifice - there are many, many other ways to do it. There are also many other ways to get/give hugs and unconditional love. However, since you have to actually earn it, it's much harder. You are actually damaging the human future by overpopulating this planet. Some would call that much more selfish. Having children is the easy way out. You automatically get a free pass to be mediocre in all other aspects of life. I have to disagree. You don't just go along with it. Being an actual good parent and raising a decent and hardworking child requires so many sacrificies and so much effort throughout your life that I can't even begin to describe it. Plus, I have a career and have had plenty of promotions in the past few years and to be honest - I work that much harder precisely because of my daughter. I don't get a free pass in my professional life because I'm a mom - it can actually be used against me in many situations, especially if I was mediocre. Despite all the sacrificies, I actually love being a mother and having the privilege of raising my daughter and watching her grow up. It's one of the most gratifying experiences, putting all this effort in and then seeing her excel and turn into an amazing little human. Yes, in some ways things will be easier when she grows up and some sacrificies I won't have to make then. But that doesn't mean that I don't enjoy this time when she's little. 1
Mr. Lucky Posted July 26, 2019 Posted July 26, 2019 Having children is the easy way out. You automatically get a free pass to be mediocre in all other aspects of life. Was that true of your parents also ? Actually ES, I'll give you somewhat of a free pass. I had a similarly narrow worldview before my own kids came along. So no judgement from me... Mr. Lucky 2
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