How to tell if girl likes me?

[beowulf44]

Met a girl at gym, actually through her boyfriend. I’m closer to her than her bf now for the record. They recently broke up

 

We hang out a lot at the gym. Workout together, etc, for few hours, when the bf is not around. This never bothered the bf, as I was cool w him. We still do the same now that they’ve broken up. Neither of us have spoken about the breakup.

 

My friends all think she likes me, and I used to think so too, but idk anymore. She always gravitates towards me, very giggly, but I can’t tell what’s flirting and what’s friendly/ just feels safe around me. She’s apparently one of those “I have more guy friends than female friends” types

 

We don’t really talk outside the gym but are fairly close at the gym. I do detect chemistry. She sees me talking to many other girls at the gym too, and has said she thinks I’m 1) a player 2) perhaps too friendly for my own good

 

I feel like an idiot for asking this, but how can I tell if she likes me or thinks of me as just a friend vs otherwise. I suppose asking her out if the obvious answer, but that makes me feel like I’m in the middle of a volatile situation

[ExpatInItaly]

Is this the same girl you wrote about under your other account, OP?

 

It might be a good idea to ask mods to merge these threads so readers here have more context to the questions you ponder above.

[d0nnivain]

The next time you see her at the gym ask her if she wants to grab a cold drik with you after your work out.

[smackie9]

The only way to find out is to ask her out on a date.....it's no secret, this is how it's done.

[alphamale]

dude, you're playing with fire, she friend-zoned you long ago

[PRW]

What age group? This sounds very inexperienced.

You've gotten some good replies already, but I'd like to put in a comment or two for the sake of perspective.

We hang out a lot at the gym.

"Hanging out" is a friend zone thing. In this gym context I would expect that, but just keep in mind the context you are in. Hanging out is not dating. Hanging out is a couple of teenagers sitting in front of the TV playing video games and eating popcorn,...dating is a man -vs- woman context with a romantic intent.

 

Neither of us have spoken about the breakup.

Good! And don't bring it up.

 

My friends all think she likes me, and I used to think so too, but idk anymore. She always gravitates towards me, very giggly, but I can’t tell what’s flirting and what’s friendly/ just feels safe around me. She’s apparently one of those “I have more guy friends than female friends” types

The use of "like" makes be cringe a little. "Like" is just the default when you don't "hate" something. "Like" is not romantic interest. She is either potentially romantically interested or she isn't,...you either get the juices flowing for her, or you don't. She can still "like" you either way and it isn't relevant. I know this may just seem like semantics but words can alter how you think and feel and they set the context.

 

Is she flirting? No way we can know, we aren't there. But there is a gazillion YouTube videos on the subject and you can compare them to what you see her doing.

 

She has mostly guy friends,...well these are the girls who will friend zone you in the blink of an eye. They are surrounded by male attention so they know they have tons of options and most of those male friends are really just "Friend Zoned" male orbiters just hoping for their "turn",...the guys (and her) may lie if you ask them that, but don't be gullible. All she has to do is pick one with a wink and he will probably be "all hers" and she knows it.

 

She sees me talking to many other girls at the gym too, and has said she thinks I’m 1) a player 2) perhaps too friendly for my own good

Forget what she says about that. It is probably just a Sh**Test to see if you get defensive, back pedal, apologize, and start Virtue Signalling,...all of which would be signs that you are weak and uncentered with yourself. Haven't you figured out yet that when a guy has no GF none of the women want him, but as soon as he has a GF (or at least appears to) then they all want him? It is called Social Value or Social Proof. Women are going to be competitive and if they notice another women being comfortable around you and maybe showing the appearance of interest, they immediately want to figure out for themselves what is so interesting about you,...so they put more effort into checking you out. They also assume that if the other woman seems to feel safe around you that you will be safe for them as well. Now for you,...you really need to get off this kick of worrying about what she thinks of you,...you need to have the attitude that it is up to her to impress you as well. I don't mean arrogance, but more of a healthy self-respect thing. So to make the best impression, show yourself to have the most value, and be the most desirable, you need to treat all the women in that environment (even the not so good looking ones) the same. Be fun, happy, upbeat, and respectful,...just be a decent human being to all of them. It will make ones who may be interested in you to see you as being worth investing themselves in. They will assume how you treat others is how you will treat them. But if they get jealous and neurotic about it then avoid them.

[beowulf44]

Is this the same girl you wrote about under your other account, OP?

 

It might be a good idea to ask mods to merge these threads so readers here have more context to the questions you ponder above.

 

It's a different situation.

 

What age group? This sounds very inexperienced.

You've gotten some good replies already, but I'd like to put in a comment or two for the sake of perspective."Hanging out" is a friend zone thing. In this gym context I would expect that, but just keep in mind the context you are in. Hanging out is not dating. Hanging out is a couple of teenagers sitting in front of the TV playing video games and eating popcorn,...dating is a man -vs- woman context with a romantic intent.

 

I used to agree with the whole hang out thing, but I find that most of the girls/guys in the age bracket I'm interested in (20s) use that word instead of "lets go on a date". Implicitly it seems that theres a commitment stigma associated with "dating"

[PRW]

I used to agree with the whole hang out thing, but I find that most of the girls/guys in the age bracket I'm interested in (20s) use that word instead of "lets go on a date". Implicitly it seems that theres a commitment stigma associated with "dating"

I didn't say call it a "date" either, I just said not to think of it as "hanging out". It doesn't need a label at all. It is a matter of setting the right Frame. If you think of it as hanging out, then you are going to treat is as hanging out (platonic), it will effect how you behave which can result in getting friend zoned. Instead of just following the social nuances,...lead them your own.

[Lotsgoingon]

Often you can tell if someone really likes you because ... well ... because it's easy to ask them out because the chemistry is so clear.

 

But ... that isn't always true ... but dude, you cannot get foolproof evidence that someone "likes" you ... You have to ask her out. Period ... But ... if asking her out is a struggle, then sometimes that itself is a sign.

 

BTW: IGNORE what your friends say. Tune in to what you pick up from her and the vibe you feel. Can't tell you the number of times friends have said, "Oh X is interested in you" ... only to find out ... well ... not quite.