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Should I Give it a Try?

MeadowFlower

By MeadowFlower
in Dating

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MeadowFlower Established Member

MeadowFlower

Posted
Posted (edited)

There is a guy I've been in contact with, on and off, for some time. We haven't actually met, and it is long distance but within the same country.

 

He wanted me to be in a relationship with him basically. Anyway I've declined. I liked someone else to some extent and my heart isn't in it. I can't see a forever with him.

 

But should I give it a try as it were? (presuming he still wants to) Could it develop into something, where my heart is in it and I discover him to have depths that I don't yet know?

Edited by MeadowFlower
d0nnivain Established Member

d0nnivain

Posted
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Is there any type of plan or time line to close the distance? If you have no independent desire to move where he is -- as in would you relocate there if he didn't exist-- or vice versa, what is the point of tying yourself to somebody you won't see often?

PRW Established Member

PRW

Posted
Posted
We haven't actually met,

He wanted me to be in a relationship with him basically. Anyway I've declined. I liked someone else to some extent and my heart isn't in it. I can't see a forever with him.

People can date for 2 months face to face and still not decide to "be in a relationship",...and this guy wants you to "be in a relationship" with him and you haven't even met? That whole thing creeps me out from head to toe, and it should be creeping you out too.

  • Like 2
schlumpy Established Member

schlumpy

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I'm not trying to hijack this post but please explain to me why you prefer to have a "relationship" with someone you never see, touch, hear, or go out with?

 

I read about these LD relationships but I can't wrap my head around it.

 

I enjoy talking with people from other countries. I always manage to come away with a different perspective but fall in love? I just don't get it.

 

I'm married to a 1st generation German woman but I was in Germany when we got married.

 

My advice is find a good guy that is local that you can hold hands with, have fun with, and deeply gaze into his eyes.

 

Best Wishes

alphamale Established Member

alphamale

Posted
Posted
People can date for 2 months face to face and still not decide to "be in a relationship",...and this guy wants you to "be in a relationship" with him and you haven't even met? That whole thing creeps me out from head to toe, and it should be creeping you out too.

 

^^^this^^^

smackie9 Established Member

smackie9

Posted
Posted

Not worth the energy.....come on you can do and find better than that. IMO the only way to have a relationship to start and go smoothly is find someone close, and convenient. You don't want to deal with the distance hurdle....it's financially costly, emotionally costly, and yer physically deprived. And when it is all said and done you will be broke, and mad at yourself for doing such a thing.

  • Like 1
Rayce Established Member

Rayce

Posted
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I agree with the others don't waste your time with LD relationship. You will invest way too much of yourself. When you meet you won't even click or there is a chance you end up being catfished.

Foxhall Established Member

Foxhall

Posted
Posted

Not discounting what the others say, but I think you should be open to meeting,

 

good to get a bit more face to face dating experience at any rate and to get out meeting new people,

 

keep your expectations low and perhaps expect to walk away, but go with an open mind to enjoy the conversation and have fun.

Happy Lemming Established Member

Happy Lemming

Posted
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I read about these LD relationships but I can't wrap my head around it.

 

Many years ago, I did try a long distance relationship; it was a 5 hour drive.

 

And we got along great, she had everything I wanted in a girlfriend. The drive was just too hard, though. I would take off early from work on Friday to get there, but would be wiped out when I got to her place. Then it was long drive home on Sunday afternoon. Neither of us wanted to move closer to one another and her car wasn't the best, so she couldn't really drive to me or meet me halfway. The distance just became too much of a problem.

 

Now I put a limit of one hour drive as a distance for dating.

 

@MeadowFlower - try to date someone who lives closer.

alphamale Established Member

alphamale

Posted
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Now I put a limit of one hour drive as a distance for dating.

 

what if Sofia Vergara wanted to date you but she lived two hours away? :lmao:

Happy Lemming Established Member

Happy Lemming

Posted
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what if Sofia Vergara wanted to date you but she lived two hours away? :lmao:

 

Nope! One hour drive is my limit.

 

And... I'm more of a "Christina Hendricks" kind of guy, anyway.

alphamale Established Member

alphamale

Posted
Posted
And... I'm more of a "Christina Hendricks" kind of guy, anyway.

 

I don't know who that is but would you do LDR with her?

Happy Lemming Established Member

Happy Lemming

Posted
Posted
I don't know who that is but would you do LDR with her?

 

Try Google Images, you'll see her. She is a beautiful red head!!

 

At this point in my life, no not even for Christina Hendricks. One hour limit. Period.

 

Moreover, I'm happy with my life and my present girlfriend. Its like putting on your old favorite pair of jeans, they don't look too good, but they are comfortable and feel great.

OatsAndHall Established Member

OatsAndHall

Posted
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LDRs need to be carefully considered as there needs to be a plan in place for it to cease being an LDR... Even then, it's too sketchy for me and something I avoid. My first relationship post divorce turned into an LDR when I took a job five hours away. We had made plans for her to move near me once she was done with her medical assistant program but the interim ended up breaking us. The five hour drive coupled with everything that was going on in our lives caused problems and we eventually split.

The Outlaw Established Member

The Outlaw

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Posted

No. You've never met him and it's been on and off communication for two months with no face to face meeting even set.

mortensorchid Established Member

mortensorchid

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You're in an LDR with someone that you've never met face to face? No, you're not. Move on and find someone closer and not in this situation.

  • Like 1
chillii Established Member

chillii

Posted
Posted
Not discounting what the others say, but I think you should be open to meeting,

 

good to get a bit more face to face dating experience at any rate and to get out meeting new people,

 

keep your expectations low and perhaps expect to walk away, but go with an open mind to enjoy the conversation and have fun.

 

 

 

 

As usual, real life well for me anyway is totally different to opinions in forums.

But granted , it is a little weird him saying your in a relationship already.

Anyway , my gf was 12 hours away , we talked a few mths knew we def had a thing but of course yeah, you gotta meet first and l was ready for the worst just encase . But, she got off the plane and we were pretty well giggling at each other from across and through 300 other people from 30mtrs away, we knew that minute absolutely nothing had changed and it's grown 10 fold since if anything.

So yaknow, this stuff can happen butttt, it all comes down to the two people concerned and what's real what's not. So l'd say seems you def' favor him then as long as you both want the same thing and someone can move one day,why not meet and see just what you really have but yeah , best not expect too much until then.

smackie9 Established Member

smackie9

Posted
Posted
As usual, real life well for me anyway is totally different to opinions in forums.

But granted , it is a little weird him saying your in a relationship already.

Anyway , my gf was 12 hours away , we talked a few mths knew we def had a thing but of course yeah, you gotta meet first and l was ready for the worst just encase . But, she got off the plane and we were pretty well giggling at each other from across and through 300 other people from 30mtrs away, we knew that minute absolutely nothing had changed and it's grown 10 fold since if anything.

So yaknow, this stuff can happen butttt, it all comes down to the two people concerned and what's real what's not. So l'd say seems you def' favor him then as long as you both want the same thing and someone can move one day,why not meet and see just what you really have but yeah , best not expect too much until then.

You are in early stages? of course everything looks rosy, but give it time. The majority on here know LDRs don't work 99.9% of the time because we have gone through it. LDRs have a shelf life, that once the infatuation stage is over reality sets in. It's time to relocate, move in together, then regret and guilt.

chillii Established Member

chillii

Posted
Posted (edited)
You are in early stages? of course everything looks rosy, but give it time. The majority on here know LDRs don't work 99.9% of the time because we have gone through it. LDRs have a shelf life, that once the infatuation stage is over reality sets in. It's time to relocate, move in together, then regret and guilt.

 

 

 

 

Ahh, at this age and after a 19yr marriage and other things, we know ourself pretttyyy well and welll aware of the deal, well you should anyway, we've been around the block , so yeah, your wary for sure as well.

But nah , we mostly live together over 12mths now, it's grown 10fold if anything but still , we see. We do have some outside circumstances we're not sure if we can get on top of though so again, we see. But that can be the case in any relationship.

lf you know yourself, and your life, history, you can pick stuff even at LD just like in person, but again , l'm not saying it will be the same when you get together but as l said earlier, if the ducks can align for the future between you which you easily sort through in all the convo you have while your waiting to meet anyway, then hell yeah , just meet and see what happens, why not. lt might still all be there or even better, or it might not.

Edited by chillii
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