OatsAndHall Posted July 25, 2019 Posted July 25, 2019 Bottom line, you don't know why she hasn't responded and you never will. So, there's no point in worrying or speculating about it. Leave her be until the day before the second date and then shoot her a text confirming and leave it be. If she does respond to you between then and now, don't try to chit-chat unless she initiates it. I would advise against a lot of chit-chat during the opening round of dates anyway. It's a poor form of communication as there's no tone and it's easy for things to be misconstrued. 1
preraph Posted July 25, 2019 Posted July 25, 2019 Why do so many men think women actually play hard to get? Why do desirable women even have a need to do this? Yeah. They're not playing . 1
kendahke Posted July 25, 2019 Posted July 25, 2019 I would require higher level of affection and attentiveness than this to be able to enjoy a relationship. From OP's first post: So I met this girl on Bumble. Had a great first date.We had dinner, held hands, and made out. When she got home from the first date she texted me tellingme she had a great time. So I set up another date for Thursday evening She agreed and she told me she would tell me when because of her work schedule. I texted her in the morning yesterday to have a good day! But no response! One date and a make out session. There is no relationship here---they've seen each other ONCE. Don't get ahead of where things actually are here--that's what leads to misunderstanding and hurt feelings.
OatsAndHall Posted July 25, 2019 Posted July 25, 2019 I can't say that I've ever run across a woman who's played "hard to get". They either haven't been interested and pulled a slow fade/ghost. Or, they've had other irons in the fire and kept enough contact with me to try and keep me interested. 1
smackie9 Posted July 25, 2019 Posted July 25, 2019 Who agrees to a date on a day knowing they will most likely be busy? Someone who's not really interested or had a change of heart. 1
OatsAndHall Posted July 25, 2019 Posted July 25, 2019 Who agrees to a date on a day knowing they will most likely be busy? Someone who's not really interested or had a change of heart. This can go both ways. The woman that I am currently seeing was incredibly busy on the day we were talking about a second date (the day after our first date). I figured that any plans made that day would be a wash but she made time in her schedule that day and we ended up having a pretty good date. So, it's kind of feast or famine; they're agreeing to a date on a busy day because they want to bail and aren't interested. OR, they're quite interested and they're making time in their day because they want to see you. 1
smackie9 Posted July 25, 2019 Posted July 25, 2019 LOL I never thought of doing that....that's pretty clever. 1
OatsAndHall Posted July 25, 2019 Posted July 25, 2019 LOL I never thought of doing that....that's pretty clever. I told her we should just plan on another day but she insisted that she could make time. She had a four hour window during her day and we spent three and half of those hours together. And, now that I have gotten to know her better, I realize that it was HUGE for her to make that kind of commitment on that particular day of the week. I appreciated it a lot and told her as much. 1
frus69 Posted July 25, 2019 Posted July 25, 2019 From OP's first post: One date and a make out session. There is no relationship here---they've seen each other ONCE. Don't get ahead of where things actually are here--that's what leads to misunderstanding and hurt feelings. To clarify I need more affection and attentiveness from the very beginning to be able to even start a relationship. If we don't feel like" hell yeah" about each other since the first date, there wont be anything afterwards. It's just me. 1
preraph Posted July 25, 2019 Posted July 25, 2019 ^Sounds like you expect a woman to pretend to adore you even before she even knows you! I guess there are some out there willing to "play house" like this, but doesn't seem like it could possibly last once you know each other.
frus69 Posted July 25, 2019 Posted July 25, 2019 (edited) but doesn't seem like it could possibly last once you know each other. Totally disagree lol No causal relationship between "adore someone after one date" and "whether this relationship will last" whatsoever I have to adore them to even want to get to know them. If they show incompatibility later on, I detach. If they are amazing, I get even more keen. If I just feel "it's alright", then I wouldnt bother a second date. I can imagine some people dont want to get too attached. Nothing wrong with it but they often appear too casual/calm/rational and boy, I cant even get excited around them Edited July 25, 2019 by frus69
Author crazyguy123 Posted July 26, 2019 Author Posted July 26, 2019 just an update i got ghosted. it sucks. i really liked her. I wasn't trying to be pushy in anyway but was trying to make it super playful for the both of us! I'm in "no contact" with her now. But Yeah, anyone ever go through something like this?
Trail Blazer Posted July 26, 2019 Posted July 26, 2019 Dude, it's only been a day. Give it another couple of days before you can claim categorically that she's ghosting you.
Gretchen12 Posted July 26, 2019 Posted July 26, 2019 Playing hard to get and ghosting are two opposite extremes. Woman playing hard to get means she wants you so badly that she is resorting to manipulation to win you. You know what ghosting means. One would think a guy would be able to tell if it's one or the other. But how women think is different. I would not assume either. It's probably somewhere in the middle. But given it's online dating, I'd lean towards ghosting end of the spectrum simply because ghosting is happening too often online.
kendahke Posted July 26, 2019 Posted July 26, 2019 To clarify I need more affection and attentiveness from the very beginning to be able to even start a relationship. It's just me. And for me and other secure women, I don't need affection or attention from a stranger at the very beginning to start anything but my feet running in the opposite direction. I first have to figure out if I even want to be in the same room with you, let alone allow you into my personal space after knowing you 20 minutes. 3
d0nnivain Posted July 26, 2019 Posted July 26, 2019 i got ghosted. it sucks. i really liked her. I wasn't trying to be pushy in anyway but was trying to make it super playful for the both of us! I'm in "no contact" with her now. But Yeah, anyone ever go through something like this? Sorry about that. It does happen. Look you saw it coming so kudos to you for being able to read the signs. Personally, I think you got a bit ahead of yourself but I am a more patient person when it comes to contact. So now you know. Sucks but it's better then wondering. Lick your wounds & get back out there.
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