ouch........this hurt alittle

[hoppy28]

ok...............to make along story short.

 

i met a woman(25) out of the blue. we hit it off right away. to be totally honest about everything she had a boyfriend of 6 years.

she cheated on him with me........she told me after. she broke up with him acouple days later.

. she assured me that she wasnt "that type" of girl......and told me everything else a man would want to hear. we saw eachother for alittle over a month. the time we spent together was amazing.

 

it all came to a quick stop...........i never really got an explanation. nor have i seen her very much since then. i found out why she left and it was for another guy she worked with. i was pretty disapointed. mostly because i was so fooled by her words and actions. when i heard this i just walked away and never said a word. i hurt me alot but i couldnt and wouldnt let her know this.

when i did see her for the first time she got deffensive and gave me some BS lines. i knew the real truth.

the messed up part is even though i know in my heart she is not for me. she's just not an honest person.........i still find myself longing for her.

 

today i heard that she recently slept with two guys(roommates) from town whom i see now and then. one last weekend and one this past weekend.

since it has been almost two months since she blew me off im not "hurt"...........but this news did bother me alittle bit. i guess im just still alittle disapointed that i even got involved with a girl like this.

 

i suppose she is doing the same thing to the guy she left me for. i almost get the feeling i want to puke. she really had me fooled. i was doing very well and then i hear this.

 

i know its not my business what she does.......and i know i dont need a girl like this in my life either. yet i still let it bother me alittle bit. she was with her previous boyfriend for 6 years. she comes into town and starts spreding her oats with anyone and everyone and people from the same circle. what the F is she doing???!!!!

i suppose the old saying goes "be glad you road the bike first"...........why do i give a crap what she's doing and how she's amking herslef look to others.

 

am i just an idiot???!!!!!!

[In Sync]

No you are not an idiot. But maybe this girl wants to have fun and nothing serious. Consider yourself lucky that you didn't start a full blown relationship with her. She got out of one herself after 6 years. Sex does not mean commitment, no matter how much you may have connected with her. Of course she was fun and it was amazing..everything is amazing in the beginning. You got a little burned, but at least she didn't string you along for months..or years...You long for someone you can't have...like most of us here...join the club. But now you know that you are not all about booty and so the next girl you'll be a slower in investing your heart in so not to get hurt again.

[JS17]

She JUST got out of a 6 year relationship. She was with this guy from the time she was 19-25. She's probably never been with anyone else and even if she has it was a looong time ago, she would have been just a kid. She's exploring her sexuality and rebounding. It normal but it's a lethal combination for any man that would develop feelings for her. It's not about you and you shouldn't be insulted. Just take more time in the future to consider the situation the woman that your with is in and is coming from. It will give you a better idea of what she's about relationship-wise. If you're just in it for fun then go for it but if you wanted someone in your situation for a serious relationship then it probably wasn't likely to happen. Sorry buddy

[hoppy28]

my first and biggest mistake was even getting involved with her.

 

cheating is so against what i beleieve in. even though i was single i put myself into a bad situation. i even thought about this the very next day.

she assured me she wasnt a cheater.....it was her first time.

this girl really strung me along for that month. i really thought she liked me.

she had me meat her parents, she brought me lunch at work.....etc.

then she just disapeared. she didnt even "brake up" with me. when i saw her acouple weeks after i had heard the news of the other guy........she was cold. i was shocked and am still shocked that this is the girl i was with.

 

from day one i knew she wasnt ready for to jump into another relationship.

we openly talked about it and taking it slow. she even told me shs turned down other dates/guys because she only saw potential with me. we had a talk about honesty and how it was #1. she felt(or made me think) she felt the same way as me.

 

man was i fooled. im 28 years old and dont need this crap. what the hell am i missing?? besides the obvious red flag and thats that she was so willing t cheat on her boyfriend of 6 years.

i wasnt the one pushing for closeness.....................she was. from the amount we talked to when we saw eachother. i wasnt needy or pushy.

i told her we would take this as fast or slow as she wanted to.

then she completly bailed. WTF!!!!

[JS17]

She may not have been lying. I'm not defending her by any means, just trying to help you understand. Put yourself in her shoes. Can you imagine getting out of a 6 year relationship, all of the emotions that you must be going through. She was probably confused as he!! and didn't really know what she wanted. She was emotionally unavailable and I hate to say it but you were her replacement for the life that she was leaving. Read a dozen or two of the posts here by people that just got out of a relationship. Everyone is pretty messed up at that time. It really sucks but from every failed relationship you learn a lot of life lessons. This one is to be more aware of where the other person is coming from and to make sure that you're looking for the same thing. You're probably not going to find a serious relationship with a girl that just got out of a long term relationship. If they were a decent feeling person then they need time to heal and recover. If they don't need time to heal and recover then run as fast as you can in the other direction. Plus, you got some red flags, you saw them and you chose to ignore them. One of the early questions that I always ask is whether they've ever cheated. Their answer will say volumes. I hope I'm not being too harsh, I feel for you. She treated you like crap and you don't deserve that. You'll find someone more deserving, I'm sure of that

[hoppy28]

i appreciate the view from the other side. she was very aggresive........i was a sucker for it. what can i say?? lesson learned.

 

i feel like poop. i hate that im pining over this woman. she totally dicked me over. why cant i just hate her for disrespecting me? when i heard about these other two guys my heart sank abit. i just dont like hearing stuff like that. if she wanted to sleep around she could have told me so from the beginning.........instead she lead me to beleive i was something "special" and we were going to "work" at being together down the road.

 

i know im a good catch. i have alot to over a woman and someday one will be lucky enough to find out. what kills me is that i fell for the trap she put out.

[bendit]

as I look back on my relationship life, I notice I got into the most trouble when I did something wrong, like seeing a woman who claimed her marriage was over although she still lived with her husband. It became a chaotic relationship and all because of my own selfishness in wanting a sexual/intimate relationship with someone who was not available for one. Our selfishness creates the pain in our lives. We need to be very aware how our actions are going to effect us and everyone invloved. I am trying to eliminate selfish actions and I hope that results in a happier life.

 

regards

 

Mike