Is an age gap a dealbreaker?

[spiritedaway2003]

Topic in other threads already - asking mod to close.

Edited July 23, 2019 by spiritedaway2003
topic repeated

[ExpatInItaly]

It isn't a dealbreaker for me, no.

 

I was 34 and my man was 48 when we started dating. Still together 4.5 years later, at 38 and 52.

 

We have very similar life goals and compatible lifestyles and worldviews. It works for us, and honestly at our ages, most people don't bat an eye. We're both adults so it's not an issue.

[basil67]

I know people who've married with an age difference of 15 to 20 years. It's unusual, but it happens.

 

When my father in law was widowed at 70, he started dating a 50 yo friend of the family. They were together (seeing each other on weekends, keeping their own houses) for about 15 years. People talk about the worry of ending up as a nurse to the older person, but she died before him.

[spiritedaway2003]

I know people who've married with an age difference of 15 to 20 years. It's unusual, but it happens.

 

When my father in law was widowed at 70, he started dating a 50 yo friend of the family. They were together (seeing each other on weekends, keeping their own houses) for about 15 years. People talk about the worry of ending up as a nurse to the older person, but she died before him.

 

Thanks for that example. And that's the thing. What I've heard from the discussion is that there is no chance that a 15-20 age gap would work, usually in the context that the older person would die first and the younger person would be left a widow way too early. And then there's the generational gap and where they are in life, so it'll just never work. So why would anyone want to take that risk?

 

It made wonder if it's reason enough to not even give it a try if attraction isn't a problem. It made me wonder their viewpoint are just realistic and I have deluded feelings about what I think love is or should be.