max3732 Posted July 23, 2019 Posted July 23, 2019 As I've posted before I've not had the best luck with dating or OLD. This one woman I messaged ignored my 1st message and then I sent her another one like a month later and she sent this really long response. In it she answered the questions I had asked in my 1st message and shared more about some of her interests as well as things she's working on and said something like "based on your questions I'd assume your good at x,y,z" and just asked how things are going for me. When I saw the message I was super excited and wrong an equally long message addressing everything she said. Then I figured that my answer was too formal and business like. Should I try and tease her about some hobbies she says she is working on but pretty bad at right now? Her answer about some of her interests was identical to how I feel, but I don't know how much detail to go into in that or if it sounds like pandering if I tell her I feel exactly the same way. Also, how I do I answer the generic "how are things going" in a way that gets her interest? Usually I'll say I've been working or say 1 or 2 fun things I've done. Is that ok? Right now I'm on a trip so I guess I could talk about that
BJP1991 Posted July 23, 2019 Posted July 23, 2019 Never be generic. Never anything like “what’s up/how’s it going” - they literally can be getting hundreds of those a day from guys with OLD apps and unless you’re a gosh dang model or something they likely won’t even reply to you. Ask her about her hobbies, something in a photo she has, or if she has any vacations planned. Some women have this obsession with traveling (men too) and anything that they are excited about in real life is a good subject to ask them about. Ask them about their weekend and what their favorite part was. Things that get them to think about an answer before having to reply have worked best for me. Best o luck - and remember, dating in general is partly a numbers game. That is drastically exacerbated in the realm of OLD apps, where women have a massive advantage in terms of the “options” of men at their disposal, all while never having to leave the comfort of their own home. I’m sure it goes both ways, but women generally will have the upper hand in any OLD app interaction.
Flame Aura Posted July 23, 2019 Posted July 23, 2019 She ignored your first message, obviously went on other dates met other guys etc, replied after your second message a month later, not exactly the best start. Instead of responding with another long message... just say 'Hey x, let's meet up this weekend and I will tell you all about how good I am at x y and z. Fri or Sat evening better for you?' 3
Michelle ma Belle Posted July 23, 2019 Posted July 23, 2019 There is a fine line between not saying enough and sharing too much. Although it's important to share some things in order to show interest, super long messaging where you're trying to cover every detail from the previous message can bite you in the ass. I love communicating and enjoy men who can engage in a robust conversation even over text BUT I can lose interest if they ramble on and on and on just as I can if I'm having to pull teeth to get more than a one word answer. I think it's best to pick one or two things to highlight while still leaving room for more questions and/or conversation. If you give too much too soon when messaging there isn't anywhere else to really go. You want to be open enough to let them know you're interested and interesting but mysterious enough to keep them guessing and wanting to know more about you...hopefully meet in person to find out more
Michelle ma Belle Posted July 23, 2019 Posted July 23, 2019 She ignored your first message, obviously went on other dates met other guys etc, replied after your second message a month later, not exactly the best start. Instead of responding with another long message... just say 'Hey x, let's meet up this weekend and I will tell you all about how good I am at x y and z. Fri or Sat evening better for you?' I have to agree with this. The longer it takes for someone to respond to you, the higher the likelihood you're just filler until someone else more interesting and exciting comes back around. You should prepare yourself that she may do this again which is why it's not ideal to invest so much time and energy and information so soon. Pace yourself but keep your options open.
Versacehottie Posted July 23, 2019 Posted July 23, 2019 She ignored your first message, obviously went on other dates met other guys etc, replied after your second message a month later, not exactly the best start. Instead of responding with another long message... just say 'Hey x, let's meet up this weekend and I will tell you all about how good I am at x y and z. Fri or Sat evening better for you?' I totally agree! I don't think you should do all this conversing over messaging--there's bound to be a let down when/if you meet in person. It also would add to the formality and stiffness you already struggle with a bit. Long is not ideal (though her back to you is ok--but I don't think you should have gone that in depth about anything that she would need to answer back in a long way) Definitely, get to asking her out, pull the trigger. Good luck
Author max3732 Posted July 23, 2019 Author Posted July 23, 2019 I totally agree! I don't think you should do all this conversing over messaging--there's bound to be a let down when/if you meet in person. It also would add to the formality and stiffness you already struggle with a bit. Long is not ideal (though her back to you is ok--but I don't think you should have gone that in depth about anything that she would need to answer back in a long way) Definitely, get to asking her out, pull the trigger. Good luck My question/comments was only about 2 lines. Just asked her about something on her profile. I haven't sent the long response yet. Now I'm definitely going to do a shorter one and try and make it a bit lighter. I would ask her out, but I'm out of town for the next few weeks.
alphamale Posted July 24, 2019 Posted July 24, 2019 Also, how I do I answer the generic "how are things going" in a way that gets her interest? you would reply with "things would be better if I was staring into your beautiful eyes"
Versacehottie Posted July 24, 2019 Posted July 24, 2019 My question/comments was only about 2 lines. Just asked her about something on her profile. I haven't sent the long response yet. Now I'm definitely going to do a shorter one and try and make it a bit lighter. I would ask her out, but I'm out of town for the next few weeks. Light is good! What's wrong with asking her out now? Try not to be so literal or in need of having the actual plan. If she gave you anything to latch onto as far as interests or that kind of stuff, then spin it onto "hey when I get back we should do xyz". The plan can loosely be for the week you return and then you either keep chatting a little and/or let her know you will be in touch when you get back to figure out a plan. Glad your comments & questions were only about two lines--then it's great that she gave you a long answer. I think very soon i.e. right about now, you need to plant the seed of a possible date and get off the messaging basically. Ok well this sounds promising
Author max3732 Posted July 29, 2019 Author Posted July 29, 2019 Just to follow up. She agreed to meet me when I get back! She wants to go for a walk so I just need to pick a place and will hopefully be set when I get back 2
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