Girl says she will leave her boyfriend for me, thoughts?

[Shining One]

OP, as others have said, you failed to heed the warnings in the previous thread and now you're in this situation. Don't make that same mistake again. Take steps to protect yourself before you have an unwanted resident that takes legal action (more of your money) to get rid of.

[Highndry]

This is the worst kind of woman ever. What she's doing with you - to him - she'll do to you later on. Buddy, not only is your picker broken, your own behavior needs some improvement. Put yourself in his shoes and leave this train wreck, sooner rather than later. If you keep running around with other guys' women, sooner or later you're going to end up in the hospital or, worse, the morgue.

[elaine567]

She left her bf to be with the OP.

That left her homeless, so she felt the OP needed to step into the bfs shoes.

The OP knew she couldn't afford rent hence why he offered her a place to stay.

Now her feet are under the table, he is stuck with her.

 

I guess the bf also paid a big chunk of her expenses so, as she left him for the OP, then the OP needs to do the same. Simple.

 

Now she is "rescued" and prised away from the bf, then she was "supposed to" start paying her own way, but that wasn't the deal.

Now he is scared to rock the boat else she ups and leaves for some other guy or goes back to the bf...

 

Some people will always take advantage or feel entitled to be provided for, the trick is to recognise that and avoid, unless you want that.

Some people do want to provide, as it gives them a sense of power or superiority, or just a feeling of satisfaction.

I guess the OP felt warm and fuzzy giving this woman a roof over her head, and winning her over.

Now it doesn't feel quite so good...

[Inflikted]

Geez. I dunno, I mean, I've never dated at all, so I don't know what it feels like to be "in the moment" of something like this, but just as an unbiased third party, that kind of situation seems way too volatile and drama-inclined. Even if I really hit it off with a girl, I really don't think I could accept the baggage of her still being "kinda sorta" involved with someone but supposedly trying to get out... Just seems way too messy, and too much of a headache.

 

Not to mention, just from my general observations, it seems like people, even when in an unhappy and/ or abusive relationship say they want out, often times, because of their history together, they sort of "relapse" and go back, and it's always sort of a thing... Usually the people involved in relationships like that BOTH have some serious issues they need to work out, and only end up enabling each other.

 

I take it you guys are also super young? I think I saw something about a "promise ring" in the original post? Eesh. Sometimes it amazes me how the relationship "drama" of young people legit sounds like something you'd see on some teen drama TV show. @_@ No offense, of course. I just think everyone is better off not getting into "drama". I never understood how people got themselves into situations like that, heh. But, then again, I guess when feelings and hormones get involved, that's what happens.

[Kitty Tantrum]

Guys, my point is that the OP seems to have the expectation that "any normal woman" upon being offered a hand-up will just automatically up and start providing herself as soon as she's able, based on some sense of... (???????)

 

This is not a reasonable expectation.

 

Expecting her to pay her own way? Reasonable. But expecting that to be part of any woman's ingrained mindset because "muh gender equality" is silly.

 

That's all I'm saying.

 

Lots of men seem to expect that feminism has given them a world wherein the women of today don't act like the women of generations past. LOL NOPE.

 

You wanna call it "evolution" - show me the biological basis. It's NOT evolution, it's social engineering, and erryone ain't done been eng'neer'd (yet).

[6ix]

This is a reminder that the topic of this thread is specific to the OP’s situation. This is not the thread to discuss gender roles in the home.