hmmhmmm2 Posted July 21, 2019 Posted July 21, 2019 At first I thought it meant she wasnt interested, but because she had a boyfriend I mentioned we should keep it platonic, but when she cancelled and said rain check I just said I understand, and left her alone. She texted me a week later saying she hasnt seen me in a while, but when I respond she ignores me. I am so confused with this one but I'm guessing it more than likely has to do with her boyfriend. We did talk briefly last week, I mentioned I was supposed to be doing my standup comedy show, but our tech guy hasn't shown with the microphone, so I asked if her bar had a microphone and if they did we could do our show at her bar. She said they didn't, but now 1 week later she's advertising karaoke night at bar and tagging me on facebook for it. this is particularly intriguing because the first time we hung out was at her karaoke party and instead of doing karaoke I performed standup, and she was laughing with me the entire night that night. What in the world?
Beendaredonedat Posted July 22, 2019 Posted July 22, 2019 Uhm, she has a boyfriend. Why are you pursuing her and wondering if she is interested or not? Just assume she is not interested and get on with getting rid of your fascination of her.
Author hmmhmmm2 Posted July 22, 2019 Author Posted July 22, 2019 Because the thing is I cut contact, I stopped pursuing--then she came a-chasing
d0nnivain Posted July 22, 2019 Posted July 22, 2019 She has a BF. You properly stepped back. She chased because she enjoyed the ego boost you provided. Unless you are into being used, walk away again & don't look back .
alphamale Posted July 22, 2019 Posted July 22, 2019 Because the thing is I cut contact, I stopped pursuing--then she came a-chasing that's the way it works man
Lotsgoingon Posted July 22, 2019 Posted July 22, 2019 She didn't come chasing and there is nothing to be confused about. She texted me a week later saying she hasnt seen me in a while ... She just texted you a vague message. Means nothing. Nothing to be confused by--and she's got a boyfriend. Confusion would be a woman texting you saying, "I cannot wait to see you. I'm so looking forward to seeing you. Let's talk tomorrow to firm up plans." And then you call the next day ... and you get nothing ... no response ... no reply. That's a bit confusing ... but after that happens once, you move on. 1
Author hmmhmmm2 Posted July 22, 2019 Author Posted July 22, 2019 She didn't come chasing and there is nothing to be confused about. She texted me a week later saying she hasnt seen me in a while ... She just texted you a vague message. Means nothing. Nothing to be confused by--and she's got a boyfriend. Confusion would be a woman texting you saying, "I cannot wait to see you. I'm so looking forward to seeing you. Let's talk tomorrow to firm up plans." And then you call the next day ... and you get nothing ... no response ... no reply. That's a bit confusing ... but after that happens once, you move on. Actually, she did chase. She set up coffee, she said she missed me. I'd say those are pretty clear signs of chasing.
Inspire Posted July 22, 2019 Posted July 22, 2019 Actually, she did chase. She set up coffee, she said she missed me. I'd say those are pretty clear signs of chasing. I have a lot of female friends that set up plans to hang out and quite a few tell me they've missed me, but it doesn't mean they want a relationship. You're overreading her and the situation.
Author hmmhmmm2 Posted July 22, 2019 Author Posted July 22, 2019 She didn't come chasing and there is nothing to be confused about. She texted me a week later saying she hasnt seen me in a while ... She just texted you a vague message. Means nothing. Nothing to be confused by--and she's got a boyfriend. Confusion would be a woman texting you saying, "I cannot wait to see you. I'm so looking forward to seeing you. Let's talk tomorrow to firm up plans." And then you call the next day ... and you get nothing ... no response ... no reply. That's a bit confusing ... but after that happens once, you move on. lol this "firming up plans" is her way of testing you. All you say to this, is you said the time and place, I'm a man of my word, I'll be there...no need to talk before our date. It shows that you do not need her every day.
Author hmmhmmm2 Posted July 22, 2019 Author Posted July 22, 2019 I have a lot of female friends that set up plans to hang out and quite a few tell me they've missed me, but it doesn't mean they want a relationship. You're overreading her and the situation. Who said I wanted a relationship? I just want her to be honest. I said we liked each other and bc of boyfriend I backed off. If she was into hooking up great. If she wanted a relationship, great. if she's confused, understandable, but talk about it. What's not cool is jerking me around and trying to keep me along for the ride when I'm trying to take care of me. We can talk and figure out if we'd be ok as friends or we can talk and figure out if she needs to break things off with either me or her boyfriend. But you can't just blow me off and then expect me to just take you back, whether that's friend or boyfriend, it doesn't work that way with me.
PegNosePete Posted July 22, 2019 Posted July 22, 2019 you can't just blow me off and then expect me to just take you back, whether that's friend or boyfriend, it doesn't work that way with me. Evidently it does work that way with you, hence you're here asking questions about it, rather than leaving her for dust in your rear view mirror. 1
ExpatInItaly Posted July 22, 2019 Posted July 22, 2019 But you can't just blow me off and then expect me to just take you back, whether that's friend or boyfriend, it doesn't work that way with me. Uh, yes. It does work that way with you. If it didn't, you would be indifferent to her behaviour now. And anyway, there is nothing to "take back," seeing as how she was never yours to begin with. You've got this all backwards and she knows exactly how to play you. And it's clearly working. Might you get some action out of this? Possibly. Will it be worth it? No, because you're already invested enough to make a thread about it, indicating you won't be able to handle the rejection when she goes home to her boyfriend after bedding you. 1
smackie9 Posted July 22, 2019 Posted July 22, 2019 She wants you to be an orbiter. She likes your vibe and the attention you give her because it makes her feel desired...something that is lacking with her BF. You can get close, but not too close. You are being played as a shelp....cut her off because you ain't getting anything out of it. 1
Beendaredonedat Posted July 22, 2019 Posted July 22, 2019 Because the thing is I cut contact, I stopped pursuing--then she came a-chasing So what: She. Has. A. Boyfriend. (typed with periods in between all words so you'd read it slow.) Ghost her man and quit letting her play you for the attention. 1
preraph Posted July 22, 2019 Posted July 22, 2019 Sounds like you two are both involved in whatever you're doing in the public eye, so maybe this is just networking.
OnlyHonesty Posted July 24, 2019 Posted July 24, 2019 As is often the case with such scenarios, the relationship with the bf has probably grown stale from an emotional standpoint. Thus she uses you for the ego boost, emotional connection, flirting and someone to tell her problems to, then after you are done filling her ego, she goes to her bf for the physical side of things. She gets the best of both worlds...and you don't even get crumbs of stale bread. I advise you to walk. Something tells me you won't do that though.
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