malaiyas Posted July 19, 2019 Posted July 19, 2019 Has anyone else here experienced people (from dating apps) being in a rush to connect with you on social media? Like, maybe you've only just started having a good exchange with them, and all of the sudden they invite you to follow them on Instagram, or add their Snapchat? I feel like adding each other on social media should come when you're a bit more established. Personally, I've no interest in having a bunch of random men who I've exchanged five messages with on my Instagram/Snap. Is it just me? I seem to run into this a lot... on the one hand, I feel people are trying to verify your identity, but on the other, I feel like it's a bit much right away. Sound off, please! 2
emeraldgreen Posted July 19, 2019 Posted July 19, 2019 Yes, I've noticed it, and I avoid it like the plague. When you're a part of my life, you get access to more areas of it. When you're getting to know me, you can come to the source. I don't share a lot of personal stuff on SM, but I've had to cut off 2 girls in the past who wanted to play facebook detective and ask me "oh, who's the girl that you commented on the photo of" etc. 3
Flame Aura Posted July 19, 2019 Posted July 19, 2019 Nope can't say I've ever had that happen. Then again I don't use social media rubbish.
chillii Posted July 19, 2019 Posted July 19, 2019 Haaaa, and l second that motion, neither do l. Can't believe the garbage people put themselves through with that bs. So, don't blame ya op , if l was on it be damned if l'd invite some stranger from a date site to be poking around in my business 1
harnold Posted July 19, 2019 Posted July 19, 2019 I push to add a girl onto social media right away. Usually, a quick look at her FB tells me more than a bunch of messages exchanged. This is pretty much the mentality. I find both sexes do it. They just wanna see what you're all about and this is one way to do it. 1
harnold Posted July 19, 2019 Posted July 19, 2019 It's the easiest way to do it. Most ladies put ALLLLLL of their personal business online. Get a peek at her FB and you know what kind of woman you are dealing with. What age bracket are you in? Jw, I'm 30 and mostly date 20s and nobody seems to use FB anymore mostly IG Back in the day, FB was the **** tho! Girls always looked at me funny when I told them "I dont have facebook"... like I had 3 nostrils or something
smackie9 Posted July 19, 2019 Posted July 19, 2019 Yes, I've noticed it, and I avoid it like the plague. When you're a part of my life, you get access to more areas of it. When you're getting to know me, you can come to the source. I don't share a lot of personal stuff on SM, This 100%^^^^
Michelle ma Belle Posted July 19, 2019 Posted July 19, 2019 Yes, I've noticed it, and I avoid it like the plague. When you're a part of my life, you get access to more areas of it. When you're getting to know me, you can come to the source. I don't share a lot of personal stuff on SM, but I've had to cut off 2 girls in the past who wanted to play facebook detective and ask me "oh, who's the girl that you commented on the photo of" etc. I second this. I'm not a huge fan of social media or at least not a fan of active social media users. Anyone looking to add me straight away and especially if they put their social media handles right in their dating profile, puts me on high alert and turns me off big time. My circle on social media is very small and very tight which is exactly how I like it. If they want to know more about me or me to know more about them, just ask and lets have a candid conversation about everything and anything. Social media is just a highlight reel of all the best moments of your life. It's very one dimensional and can all too often be construed for better or worse. You can't possibly learn everything you need to know about someone just by looking at their SM. Entering my tight circle takes time and it's something you earn. 2
Trail Blazer Posted July 19, 2019 Posted July 19, 2019 I've noticed since joining Tinder and Bumble in the last one to two months, that people add their Insta and Snapchat handles to their profiles. Anyone leveraging off the attention they recieve on dating apps to raise their Snap score or follower numbers are being disingenuous. I will swipe left, no matter how hot as it's a deal-breaker for me. I did have one girl ask me to add her on Messenger after a few of days. She seemed nice enough and agreed to go on a date, so I thought it was logical. About five minutes in from adding her, she said, "OMG, your babies are gorgeous" (a reference to some of my profile pics with my kids in them). I didn't mind the fact that she saw my kids and of course, what parent doesn't like being told that their kids are nice look? However, it did smack a little of her "snooping". Hey, I did the same and checked out the limited content she had displayed on her public Facebook wall - the difference is, I didn't ask her to Messenger add, she did. I have never endee up dating her. Two times we'd planned to meet up, then both time were within 24 hours, she pulled out. The excuses were actually believable so I gave her the benefit of the doubt. She was very apologetic and is adamant she still wants to meet. Third time lucky, perhaps? 1
alphamale Posted July 19, 2019 Posted July 19, 2019 I don't even know what snapchat and instragram are
OatsAndHall Posted July 19, 2019 Posted July 19, 2019 I won't add anyone on social media until I get to know them. I had been dating a woman for about a month, added her on Facebook and she started cyber-stalking my ex-wife. My ex-wife was never a topic of conversation for us and I had her blocked on Facebook. But, this woman still used my Facebook account to figure out who she was and pulled some incredibly creepy chit.
alphamale Posted July 19, 2019 Posted July 19, 2019 I won't add anyone on social media until I get to know them. I had been dating a woman for about a month, added her on Facebook and she started cyber-stalking my ex-wife. My ex-wife was never a topic of conversation for us and I had her blocked on Facebook. But, this woman still used my Facebook account to figure out who she was and pulled some incredibly creepy chit. wow OAH, that's ridiculous
Trail Blazer Posted July 19, 2019 Posted July 19, 2019 I don't even know what snapchat and instragram are Damm, man... how old are you? Even my 70 year old mom knows what they are.
Rayce Posted July 19, 2019 Posted July 19, 2019 I push to add a girl onto social media right away. Usually, a quick look at her FB tells me more than a bunch of messages exchanged. I am so glad that I don't do social media anymore. I want a guy to get to know me... not some preconceived idea that he gets from looking at my social media. 1
OatsAndHall Posted July 19, 2019 Posted July 19, 2019 wow OAH, that's ridiculous Yup. She became insanely jealous over a woman that I had been divorced from for awhile, that we'd never really talked about and bombarded me with texts about her. She even saw that her and my ex-wife had friends in common and friggin' contacted two of them. I called it off on the spot. This was the stalker I've described in other threads. I had to call the cops on her twice after I broke off contact with her; it was insane.
Rayce Posted July 19, 2019 Posted July 19, 2019 I won't add anyone on social media until I get to know them. I had been dating a woman for about a month, added her on Facebook and she started cyber-stalking my ex-wife. My ex-wife was never a topic of conversation for us and I had her blocked on Facebook. But, this woman still used my Facebook account to figure out who she was and pulled some incredibly creepy chit. You never know what people are doing with social media out there. Those algorithm are written in such a way that if you click on someone enough then you start getting all of their peeps showing up as suggestions because the algorithm thinks if your clicking on this guy maybe you know all his friends. I've been cyberstalks before and it is creepy. Just the other day I was wondering what happened to mine since I've been offline for over 8 months now. Good thing I am taking some self defense classes in case no social media contact brings them out of the wood work. You just never know.
Author malaiyas Posted July 19, 2019 Author Posted July 19, 2019 I like seeing the array of responses, thank you! I'm not a very active user of social media myself anymore, so that may be where my stance comes from. I really, ideally want to connect with someone who's going to put the effort in to getting to know me in person as opposed to getting to know more of my profiles. I have, in the past, given out my Instagram handle (I deactivated my Facebook several months ago) and then conversation immediately ceased upon the exchange, but they never unfollowed. It does seem, at least to me, that more often than not, these people are just seeking followers. I am not! I unfollowed immediately. In general, I avoid things that tend to prompt more investment in a person you haven't even met. Let's establish if conversation flows via messaging/phone, see if it translates face to face and then move forward accordingly from there. I don't want to promote a strictly digital relationship, after all.
Sam2020 Posted July 19, 2019 Posted July 19, 2019 I won't add anyone on social media until I get to know them. I had been dating a woman for about a month, added her on Facebook and she started cyber-stalking my ex-wife. My ex-wife was never a topic of conversation for us and I had her blocked on Facebook. But, this woman still used my Facebook account to figure out who she was and pulled some incredibly creepy chit. This is just one reason I don't grant most requests, only relatives or close friends. Plus I really do not post anything, I just like to see what my relatives and close friends are up to and may comment every now and then. I'd never allow anyone I date on any of my social media. In this day and age, it's difficult to know who to trust!
kendahke Posted July 19, 2019 Posted July 19, 2019 I don't incorporate my social media into my dating. Even when I was in a long term relationship, my ex wasn't my facebook friend or me his because I didn't want random people I didn't know trying to find out who I was or stalk me. I don't think I'd incorporate anyone new into my social media circle, either. I mean, why? Just ask me what you want to know about my life. Is that so hard?
emeraldgreen Posted July 19, 2019 Posted July 19, 2019 I don't even know what snapchat and instragram are If you're 17, you know a girl likes you cause she opened your snap.
mortensorchid Posted July 20, 2019 Posted July 20, 2019 I've had others friend me on Facebook or follow me on Instagram after we connected on dating apps. Results? One turned out to be a friend (I just saw him last night). Another sent me a dick pic while drunk one night. Trying to keep an air of mystery about yourself can be hard in this digital age. It's okay to let someone follow you as lo g as you're not doing anything outrageous.
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