So this girl on OLD has agreed to a date, but

[the single guy]

So I've been talking to this woman on OLD for a couple days and exchanged 4 messages. Anyway, I asked her if she wanted to meet up somewhere near where she lives and hangsout.

 

She said she needed to "check her schedule" to see if she's busy on Thur. I replied back and said that's okay.

 

I figured that was the typical rejection when a girl says that, BUT this morning she messaged me this and offered thur.

 

The thing is after thinking about it that's not a lot of time to plan, AND where I work is in a bad area, plus overall not familiar with it since I live 30 miles away.

 

So what I did is she is very shy and nervous about meeting people online. So I told her why I drive down there and meet her at her favorite places and I'm somewhat more familiar with that town since I used to live there and have family there.

 

Also it just dawned on my mom's birthday is on thur.

 

So anyway, I offered to suggest maybe this weekend or early next week. We will see what she says when she replies back and I told her to text me it's easier to chat.

 

She seems really shy and nervous though and is new to online dating. By suggesting something closer to where she lives and familiar with does that make her feel more at ease you think? I don't mind driving 60 miles.

 

When she replies or if she texts me should I be honest it's my mom's birthday tomorrow? This woman is a solid 8.5 on the scale btw. From the sounds of it is she possibly just trying to friend zone me and make a friend instead?

 

I don’t have much going on tomorrow besides my workout in the morning and plans with my girlfriends in the evening. I live in xxx, so I am not terribly familiar with xxx. I am actually a little shy about meeting people, even though I know that is the point of this. You get the benefit of the doubt since you’re a xxx fan.

[the single guy]

She read the message 30 mins ago but hasn't replied back yet. She does this stuff though. Reads it and takes 8 hours to reply back and I get all nervous so I don't want to rush another reply again.

 

I honestly forgot it's my mom's birthday though on thur. Should I send another message about that and why thur might not work or wait for HER to reply?

[d0nnivain]

If you have to cancel because you forgot your mom's birthday & now have plans with mom, she will think you are lying & blowing her off.

 

See if you can get mom to let you take her out on Friday or for brunch on Sunday.

 

Driving 60 miles sounds like a Herculean effort for a 1st meet.

[the single guy]

If you have to cancel because you forgot your mom's birthday & now have plans with mom, she will think you are lying & blowing her off.

 

See if you can get mom to let you take her out on Friday or for brunch on Sunday.

 

Driving 60 miles sounds like a Herculean effort for a 1st meet.

 

Well good news! In that reply I gave out my cell number and SHE reached out and is texting me and we're chatting back and forth.

 

She is somewhat familiar with my town. She teaches at a nice private school and the thing is down there it's still fairly tight nit and she said whenever she goes out to the gym, meet people or eat that everyone notices you and who you're with and it makes the situation really awkward so she doesn't go out much other than with girlfriends and doesn't like dating around there.

 

She's inquiring about where I live a bit and is hinting she'd rather come up here and meet.

 

Is this a really good sign that I didn't ask for her number but offered her mine and she texted me?

 

I don't want to F this up again. Should I plan something and text her back later tonight?

 

This woman is a solid 8 to 8.5 looks wise. She only has 4 pics on her profile but I can tell she's athletic and she coaches the track team. She's 39 so reality is she probably looks more like a 7 in person but she looks really nice. I'm about the same height as her but I'm slim because I run a lot. I hope this isn't a turnoff because I'm a few years younger but everyone thinks I'm a kid.

Edited July 17, 2019 by the single guy

[alphamale]

dude your desperation is palpable

[d0nnivain]

Stop with the numerical ranks already.

 

If she is taking initiative that is good. Stop looking for problems where none exist & take alphamale's observation to heart.

 

Beware, of women who think the whole town is talking about them. I live in a tight knit community & couldn't tell you one thing any of my neighbors do or say. I do know plenty of flakey people in town who think that everything they do or say is the talk of the town but that is only in their own minds.

[the single guy]

Stop with the numerical ranks already.

 

If she is taking initiative that is good. Stop looking for problems where none exist & take alphamale's observation to heart.

 

Beware, of women who think the whole town is talking about them. I live in a tight knit community & couldn't tell you one thing any of my neighbors do or say. I do know plenty of flakey people in town who think that everything they do or say is the talk of the town but that is only in their own minds.

 

True regarding being center of attention. We chatted for about 3 hours total this afternoon. Since she hinted she wanted to meet up here I gave her some ideas and to set a time up. Lets see how long before she replies. On match she didn't reply quick so I think she was feeling me out.

 

Should I message her tomorrow to ask how her days going?

[d0nnivain]

Sure, why not?

[PRW]

Anyway, I asked her if she wanted to meet up somewhere near where she lives and hangsout.

 

She said she needed to "check her schedule" to see if she's busy on Thur. I replied back and said that's okay.

 

I figured that was the typical rejection when a girl says that, BUT this morning she messaged me this and offered thur.

You got lucky. You were too wishy-washy in offering the date, which usually causes rejection because the 10 other guys she is talking to online at the same time get to the point faster than you did. Dating is not "hanging out". Dating is a date with a purpose. Hanging out is you and your buddies on the couch playing video games. You should always be specific. Now under some circumstances it is difficult to be specific on all parts, so in a case like that just ask when she is free to get together (not "hang out",...hang out sounds like high school). If she responds with "I'm good for Thurs night or Sat night" then you pick one of the two days yourself, research her area and pick a place and time. Then you come back to her with a specific day/time/place. It is up to her to say yes, or no, or make a counter offer.

[PRW]

On match she didn't reply quick so I think she was feeling me out.

No, it means you are only one of the 10 guys she is talking to online at the same time.

 

Should I message her tomorrow to ask how her days going?

No,...her day is going just like yours, and she can tell you all about it on the date. That is needy. "Here I am, here I am!....You haven't forgot about me yet have you?!?!"

[Normm]

dude your desperation is palpable

 

I thought the same. You seriously need to chill out. You remind me of a goldfish swimming frantically at the surface of the tank because it hears it's owner's footsteps approaching and it's hungry.

 

Also just because she's as good as an 8.5 on her profile and has pictures showing a nice athletic build doesn't mean an elephant won't show up for your date. Given her enthusiasm towards you, given your poor approach to this entire thing, I'm suspicious.

[the single guy]

I thought the same. You seriously need to chill out. You remind me of a goldfish swimming frantically at the surface of the tank because it hears it's owner's footsteps approaching and it's hungry.

 

Also just because she's as good as an 8.5 on her profile and has pictures showing a nice athletic build doesn't mean an elephant won't show up for your date. Given her enthusiasm towards you, given your poor approach to this entire thing, I'm suspicious.

 

When she texted me it shows her name on caller id. I looked her up on facebook and her body and job is legit.

 

She seriously is about an 8.5 and pretty darn hot and in shape.

 

She's also the same height as me. I'm in good shape myself as well but I'm slim and I do look very young for my age in my match photos.

 

Not that I'm ugly though but 4 years older than me is the big thing too. She will think I'm a kid. I mean she's out of most guys leagues looks wise. but she gave some reasons she wants to come up here possibly to meet.

 

Who knows what goes on in their minds lol. But if we go out I will be a nervous wreck lol. She said she's a very shy woman herself so maybe she would understand it.

[alphamale]

good luck single guy

[preraph]

Well, I wouldn't go calling her shy to her face because she's a teacher, so she's not shy. She speaks in front of a class and other teachers every single day. She's not shy. Nervous, probably. Everyone is nervous on first dates -- including you.

 

I'm a little concerned she is making up all that crap about people talking in her own town. I just hope she hasn't got a boyfriend or husband.

[alphamale]

...sigh...

[JuneL]

Sorry I have to ask the same question again: Are you originally from St Louis by any chance? Why do you have a new user name every single day?

[central]

Driving 60 miles sounds like a Herculean effort for a 1st meet.

 

Only 60 miles? I've done that many times. And I flew over 8000 miles for a second date. The effort was well worth it!

[Normm]

Only 60 miles? I've done that many times. And I flew over 8000 miles for a second date. The effort was well worth it!

 

Given that most 1st dates don't make it to a second, driving 2 hours round trip to meet a person for the first time is most likely a wasted effort.

 

As far as you traveling over 8000 miles for a second date, without knowing the circumstances it's hard to make the call- maybe you live in the middle of the desert or something; but I can't imagine I'd ever travel more than around 45 minutes for any woman I hardly know. There's more than enough close to home.

[JuneL]

^^^ But this guy lives in the middle of nowhere. If he doesn’t want to drive, he’ll have to fly to North Korea to meet his dream girl.

[PRW]

showing a nice athletic build doesn't mean an elephant won't show up for your date.

 

Or a crazy Russian named Ivan,...or a 6foot 7inch Nigerian with a grey beard.

[Gretchen12]

"You haven't forgot about me yet have you?!?!"

 

Oh no!! Haha. I have actually said exactly that to men, or something like "Have you forgotten about me...?" But so far I haven't been dropped for saying that in a teasing way. Usually the guy is sweet and replies "Forget you? Never!".

 

Maybe it doesn't go as well when the guy says it

[PRW]

Given that most 1st dates don't make it to a second, driving 2 hours round trip to meet a person for the first time is most likely a wasted effort.

It's a 4 hour round trip for me on pretty much any date, good or a bad one. My whole social life is a 4 hour round trip even if it isn't a date.

[the single guy]

She's legit because her name shows up on my caller ID with her name on it and I looked her up on facebook. The school she works at, hometown and everything. Everything checks out.

 

The only thing is she only has 300 friends on there. She's a teacher and usually attractive women like her have like 900 friends on FB. She says she's shy doesn't have many friends down here and doesn't like to go out a lot.

 

So sat we have a lunch. Shes coming up here. If she turns out to be a fruit loop at least I didn't have to drive far for her. She's making an awful lot of effort to see me though.

 

Only thing is she doesn't have a lot of friends and is bored she said.

 

I hope this isn't a friend zone thing. I mean, at least she probably has hot teacher friends she can intro me to.