lostinmymind Posted September 26, 2005 Posted September 26, 2005 Well, things were going good for awhile there. I was focusing on other aspects of my life and managing to be decently happy. My ex lives right by me, but up until yesterday I've been coping. She has continuously been flirting with me and I guess I flirt back... She broke up with her new boyfriend last week and it didn't seem to be bothering her at all. Last night she asked if she could see my new kitten. I said sure. I brought it across the hall and we played with it for awhile. Then she got a call and it was her ex. I sat there for a min hoping she would end the conversation, but no. She kept talking and arranging when she could go home to see him, etc. I finally got fed up and walked out. She IMs me online saying I shouldn't be mad at her, I said why would I be mad and she said i stormed out all pissy. I just didn't say anything else and when she said night 10 min later I said "bye". I come to find out later from someone else that they got back together. Now I'm just really depressed again, because I thought things were starting to look good or at least I had been given another opportunity. I'm so confused why she wants to be with him in a distance relationship, considering that was the excuse she used to break up with me. This kid is a freak, he asked her to marry him and says he wants to have kids with her and all that **** after 3 months of knowing her (she is 18 and he is 20). I am just thoroughly pissed off and depressed. I'm sick and tired of being in such close proximity to her and not being able to do anything about it. I feel trapped. I want to go yell at her and tell her how stupid I think she is. I'm bound to go crazy one of these days. I just can't keep living like this, right by her. The thing that hurts me most is how she changed from this great, mature girl to this immature girl who craves any attention she can get. I'm going to stop talking to her and start avoiding her. She just doesn't get it, she IS going to lose me even though she doesn't think she will. She says she never wants to lose me. Lets see what happens when she does then. It pisses me off that she can say to me that I'm the perfect guy and so funny and nice and sweet and cute and that I was so good to her, but she just wants to do other things. I guess I just start to move on again... I give this girl way to much and love her way to much. More than she deserves right now.
Rocko Posted September 26, 2005 Posted September 26, 2005 She's not healing from the pains of breakups ... She's taking her entire life for granted until one day she fall's flat on her face. Get some other love interests asap. Use that anger to distance yourself from her. This ****'s not gonna fix itself overnight. Move on with the idea of "not going to ever happen again."
Author lostinmymind Posted September 26, 2005 Author Posted September 26, 2005 She's not healing from the pains of breakups ... She's taking her entire life for granted until one day she fall's flat on her face. Get some other love interests asap. Use that anger to distance yourself from her. This ****'s not gonna fix itself overnight. Move on with the idea of "not going to ever happen again." She is taking her life for granted and taking me for granted. I care about her on such a deep level as much as anyone can ever care about another person. Why do I always put her above myself? It's ridiculous, I need to stop! It's just so hard to let go when I feel I should care. I guess I was doing fine before, I just got a little too excited by the news of her breaking up with the new guy. I just don't know how to give up hope...
loveisallaround Posted September 26, 2005 Posted September 26, 2005 You've answered all your own questions. You do need to move on. You are giving her too much credit. You are allowing this situation to control you. Letting go is probably one of the hardest lessons I've had to learn. I'm much like you, I've often put the needs of lovers ahead of my own. Even when they treated me like complete crap, I conviently edited that all out and was essentially a doormat. Although, I hold no resentment in my hearts to my exes - I realize this was my doing - I've had to oust them out of my life with the thought that we'd never be together again. It's hard to rationalize, and even harder to put into action - but, hey - no manure, no magic. Now I feel tons better and in control of my situation. It doesn't mean I'd never talk to them again, or reconcile if the right circumstances came around, instead I'm not allowing them to control my life. I'd advise to you to stop being a consequence to her. Seize back control. Although the thought of relinquishing control or the fixation with your ex seems terrifying, it'll be extremly liberating. And then you'll encounter the biggest irony of them all: To truly recieve (or maintain control) you must give it up. Good luck!
Rocko Posted September 27, 2005 Posted September 27, 2005 You're being waaaayyy too friendly with this girl. There's a difference between "friend" and "friendly." Get her out of your life as much as possible. Don't even worry about trying to maintain contact, that's her problem. Not to mention she lives right across from you, so its not like she'll be out of your life forever. Move on for now. That means get other love interests!
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