Happy Lemming Posted July 2, 2019 Posted July 2, 2019 I've also seen fruit bouquets... I think they might be called "Edible Arrangements"?? Any who... I also think he is going to get teased. Many years ago, I was working on a house and the previous owner had planted A LOT of yellow tulips in the yard. I has soooo many. One day, I picked a big bunch of them and brought them to work, along with a nice vase. I put the arrangement on the conference room table, as I knew the owner was holding a meeting later that day and I thought it would be a nice touch. Apparently one woman saw them and started going office by office trying to figure out where the tulips came from. My office was the last one she came to. When she asked me I told her, "Yes, I brought them from my home, thought they were pretty and they might brighten up the conference room a bit" She agreed they were pretty but thought flower gardening was not manly and called me "Fag--t Flower Boy". The nickname stuck and I was teased horribly by my coworkers. I never brought flowers to the office again. I didn't really make an issue out of it, as I was planning on changing jobs in the next couple of months, anyway. I did learn my lesson about flowers, though. Never again.
Rayce Posted July 2, 2019 Posted July 2, 2019 @Happy Lemming omg that is horrible. I am so sorry you were treated that way in a work environment. I do believe bullies grow up to be bigger bullies.
amaysngrace Posted July 2, 2019 Posted July 2, 2019 It’s just cause they were tulips. I doubt they’d have given you a hard time if it was any other flower. But yea, some people suck.
alphamale Posted July 2, 2019 Posted July 2, 2019 I've also seen fruit bouquets... I think they might be called "Edible Arrangements"?? I got my dad an edible arrangement for fathers day. $50. Old fruit that was not even sweet (except strawberries). I would never send that again, not even to an enemy I called them for a refund and they told me they could only replace it, I said no thanks But yea if the fruit was better quality i'd definitely send to a guy
Happy Lemming Posted July 2, 2019 Posted July 2, 2019 @Rayce Yes... the woman in question was a bit of a bully around the office, I just didn't think she would stoop to that level... very poor taste. And she was a middle aged woman who was fairly high up in the company. I had never done anything to her in the past... who knows. I just kept to myself until I moved on.
preraph Posted July 2, 2019 Posted July 2, 2019 It was too soon after only three dates and I'm presuming he's never sent you flowers. That said, it isn't to be embarrassed about. Your heart was in the right place. Just too soon. Don't start giving new people stuff until long enough that it's comfortable for both of you and has kind of built up to that point. I agree with others that a plate of cookies is always welcome and if they're Toll House, literally no one will question your motives.
d0nnivain Posted July 2, 2019 Posted July 2, 2019 I suppose it depends on the guy. Look it was a lovely kind gesture. He's either gonna get that or he's gonna freak. If his housemates pick on him it will because they are secretly jealous. Your heart was definitely in the right place. 1
SmartDude Posted July 3, 2019 Posted July 3, 2019 I think it was a very sweet and sentimental gesture. Under the right circumstances this will work. Especially if you have a guy who is naturally romantic. It can also be a total disaster. You definitely took a risk. If you need to, you could still play it off like it didn't happen. Not sure how though..
rightondude Posted July 3, 2019 Posted July 3, 2019 OP .... flowers to a guy, no. Don't ever do that again. Offer your company (and food or beer); that's what we want. Happy Lemming: you should have told that B where she could plant tulips (two lips). Course you probably would have been fired, but oh well... 1
Author Friendorfoe Posted July 3, 2019 Author Posted July 3, 2019 Dont think the flowers were an issue. The fact I knew his address made his anxiety go sky high. I confessed to it all an how i knew his address before he even mentioned the gift (which he had received by the time i confessed).He said its ok but wished id said something beforehand. Dont know where we are now, he still wished me goodnight and small talked this morning, still kisses at the end of texts. Sent a very supportive/understanding text today letting him know I understand what he's going through and I'm here to support him if he needs it, as he's going through a tough anxiety time at the moment. He's read it and not replied. Guess I have my answer. Oh well.
JuneL Posted July 3, 2019 Posted July 3, 2019 The knowing his address without asking could have been creepy and even scary if your genders were reversed. I actually had a couple of guys doing something similar but not creepy when I was a graduate student. They drove me back to my building, and I got something nice in the mail soon after. I don’t recall whether they asked what apartment/floor I lived, or they just figured that out somehow. They were two different guys.
alphamale Posted July 3, 2019 Posted July 3, 2019 The knowing his address without asking could have been creepy and even scary if your genders were reversed. I actually had a couple of guys doing something similar but not creepy when I was a graduate student. They drove me back to my building, and I got something nice in the mail soon after. I don’t recall whether they asked what apartment/floor I lived, or they just figured that out somehow. They were two different guys. there are as many creepy weirdo women as there are creepy weirdo men 2
Author Friendorfoe Posted July 3, 2019 Author Posted July 3, 2019 there are as many creepy weirdo women as there are creepy weirdo men im defo not a weirdo, I wanted to do a nice gesture but didnt really think it through
Happy Lemming Posted July 3, 2019 Posted July 3, 2019 im defo not a weirdo, You've been on 3 dates, you are still in that "getting to know you" stage of this new relationship. He doesn't know that you are not a "weirdo" or a "Stage 5 Clinger" or a "stalker". Can I ask why you have only been on 3 dates in 2 months?? That seems a bit sparse!? 1
smackie9 Posted July 3, 2019 Posted July 3, 2019 3 dates in two months....I would have moved on by now.
Gaeta Posted July 3, 2019 Posted July 3, 2019 im defo not a weirdo, I wanted to do a nice gesture but didnt really think it through Let it be a learning experience. Your 'nice gesture' was disproportionate, too much - too soon, for a 3 dates relationship. You can remind us all you want that you have been talking every night that still is NOT getting to know someone. This man has been keeping you at a distance with his 'busy excuse'. All this time he spends on the phone with you and he's suppose to be busy! nah! I don't buy it.
Happy Lemming Posted July 3, 2019 Posted July 3, 2019 nah! I don't buy it. Me neither... I think she is his "Justin Case" (just in case it doesn't work out with the woman he is really trying to get). Second or third choice, back burner, etc. "Busy" is just an excuse, if you want to see someone you make time to see the person. Period.
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted July 3, 2019 Posted July 3, 2019 I got my dad an edible arrangement for fathers day. $50. Old fruit that was not even sweet (except strawberries). I would never send that again, not even to an enemy I called them for a refund and they told me they could only replace it, I said no thanks But yea if the fruit was better quality i'd definitely send to a guy I just ordered/had one for my daughter's graduation brunch and it was amazing!! First one I've had and I'd definitely do it again. The caramel and chocolate covered apple slices were sooooo good.
alphamale Posted July 3, 2019 Posted July 3, 2019 I just ordered/had one for my daughter's graduation brunch and it was amazing!! First one I've had and I'd definitely do it again. The caramel and chocolate covered apple slices were sooooo good. I didn't like it, most of the fruit wasn't even ripe or sweet. Sub par, won't get it again 1
olivetree Posted July 3, 2019 Posted July 3, 2019 Sending a gift to his home plus saying you'd be there to support him is too much after three dates. Take it slower in the future and don't offer so much of yourself up.
alphamale Posted July 3, 2019 Posted July 3, 2019 dude your fruit probably came from Canada the northern part of Canada
Lotsgoingon Posted July 3, 2019 Posted July 3, 2019 Sent a very supportive/understanding text today letting him know I understand what he's going through and I'm here to support him if he needs it, as he's going through a tough anxiety time at the moment. He's read it and not replied. Guess I have my answer. Oh well. We tell this to guys all the time on this board ... and I will tell it to you here. The "I'm here to support you" line--just having the impulse to say that--means the other person is keeping you at a distance ... and is showing extremely low interest. Really you want to stop investing in this guy, stop working so hard. Let him do some work and show interest. Gifts don't create interest ... and I've never seen the "I'm here for support" line work for anyone--didn't work when I used it, didn't work when someone used it on me. He KNOWS you're interested. People know that ... so back off ... this is not a communication issue. Let him to come to you ... a relationship takes two. And if he doesn't step to you, the relationship can't go anywhere. Seriously, start thinking about going out on dates with other people. If a person truly feels connected, they don't need you to say "I'm here for support." They'll assume you're there for support--they'll invite you in quite quickly. 3
chillii Posted July 3, 2019 Posted July 3, 2019 Yeah, unfortunately op reading more about him now, your hearts was in the right place but this guy just doesn't sound too deserving of that kinda support or flowers or beers or whatever , right now sorry to say. Def' time to back away what's done is done , see what he wants to do about things, or if he's even in it enough to show some appreciation you cert' deserve from him now. lf he doesn't fire up, well , you tried to be there for him but you need somebody worthy of that and it def' won't be him then. 1
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