Jump to content

Letting this one go.

Friendorfoe

By Friendorfoe
in Dating

 Share
While the thread author can add an update and reopen discussion, this thread was last posted in over a month ago. Want to continue the conversation? Feel free to start a new thread instead!

Recommended Posts

Friendorfoe Member

Friendorfoe

Posted
Posted

Hi.

I’ve had 3 dates with a guy over the last 2 months (both been busy and have very strong work ethics but have made the time when we can. Work gets less busy for us both next week). We talk every day. Last night he was feeling miserable, so I’ve sent him some flowers to cheer him up. I don’t know if I’ve done the right thing and now I’m worried :( Is it a good/bad thing to send a guy flowers?

chillii Established Member

chillii

Posted
Posted

Noooo, it's an incredible gesture imo.

l'm not into flowers at all myself but l have been sent flowers and it really really touched me, couldn't believe she did it. Never knew a girl would even send a guy flowers before that buttt, it was really nice.

  • Like 2
  • Author
Friendorfoe Member

Friendorfoe

Posted
  • Author
Posted
Noooo, it's an incredible gesture imo.

l'm not into flowers at all myself but l have been sent flowers and it really really touched me, couldn't believe she did it. Never knew a girl would even send a guy flowers before that buttt, it was really nice.

 

I just wanted it to be a nice gesture. My issues are he shares a house with 5 guys and I’m worried they take the piss out of him, but it was better than sending them to his work right? And then he might question where I got his address. We went to an exhibition a couple of weeks ago and he filled in a form about the gallery reclaiming tax on the admission ticket and he wrote his address on it. My mind remembers everything, so was easy to remember what he wrote. I don’t want him to think I’m weird or something.

Flame Aura Established Member

Flame Aura

Posted
Posted

Honestly? Flowers are for girls, us guys have no interest in them whatsoever. I'm sure he will appreciate the gesture but that's about it.

  • Like 1
thefooloftheyear Established Member

thefooloftheyear

Posted
Posted

I would think I died or something....:laugh:

 

You probably would have been better off sending him a pepperoni pizza..

 

TFY

  • Like 6
ExpatInItaly Established Member

ExpatInItaly

Posted
Posted

Your heart was in the right place.

 

However, I wouldn’t have gone this route for a couple of reasons.

 

1) I don’t think most guys are that into flowers. I’d have gone with something edible instead.

 

2) It sounds like you’ve never been to his house and he never gave his address to you directly. I think memorizing his addresses and having something delivered there runs the risk of being a bit invasive, given the fact that you evidently don’t know him too well yet.

 

But, see how he responds. What’s done is done so hopefully he’ll see it as a thoughtful gesture.

alphamale Established Member

alphamale

Posted
Posted

i'm not into flowers. but food stuffs (i.e. cookies, cakes, lasagna, pierogis, etc) would have helped me out of my funk

  • Like 1
clia Established Member

clia

Posted
Posted

To be honest, I'm cringing really hard right now -- especially since you've only been on three dates with him, memorized his address, and he lives with five other guys. He is likely getting teased nonstop by his friends right now about getting flowers.

 

But what's done is done and your heart was in the right place. Next time just bake him some cookies or buy him a bottle of liquor.

amaysngrace Established Member

amaysngrace

Posted
Posted

I never sent a man flowers but I did go help my bf plant flowers at his house once.

 

It was probably a bad idea because then he had to care for them and who wants to be bothered with watering flowers every day? Even I don’t. I wait until they’re near death before I water them but I still always plant flowers with hopes that it’ll sometimes rain at night.

 

It’s only weird that you know where he lives if he’s not into you but since you talk every day he may think it’s kind of you. If his friends are giving him a hard time about it and he’s not secure enough in his manhood to be gracious about the flowers and get them all to back off then he’s probably not great relationship material anyway.

  • Like 1
ChatroomHero Established Member

ChatroomHero

Posted
Posted

Yeah, the 5 other guys will give him a hard time. In the early stages I wouldn't give many gifts if any at all. Despite best intentions, unless it's something small that you happen to buy on a date because it's funny or something, early on gifts are almost always cringe-worthy.

 

 

I am sure he will be happy to get something but embarrassed via his roommates. I look at it like a gift never won anyone's affection, but it can push someone away.

Rayce Established Member

Rayce

Posted
Posted
I would think I died or something....:laugh:

 

You probably would have been better off sending him a pepperoni pizza..

 

TFY

 

I have sent a few guys flowers and they never did really like it and felt it was creepy... in hindsight... I wish I would of thought of this instead.

 

When I was a teenager I use to leave little notes and once a teddy bear on my xMM motorcycle... He really dug it and 40 years later he told me how it sweet it was... that made my heart melt. I guess that gave me the social que that sending flowers to other guys was ok. :love:

Lotsgoingon Established Member

Lotsgoingon

Posted
Posted

I would have certainly have preferred some pepperoni pizza ... or sausage ... or a great meal ... delivered ... or cooked ...

 

I am not big on flowers ... but you didn't ruin anything. If flowers ruins things, then you didn't really have anything going in the first place.

 

But yes, in this day of online delivery of all kinds of great food ... oh man, when I'm bummed and low energy ... the last thing I want to do is prepare a tasty or healthy meal.

 

Come back and update us ...

Rayce Established Member

Rayce

Posted
Posted
I would have certainly have preferred some pepperoni pizza ... or sausage ... or a great meal ... delivered ... or cooked ...

 

I am not big on flowers ... but you didn't ruin anything. If flowers ruins things, then you didn't really have anything going in the first place.

 

But yes, in this day of online delivery of all kinds of great food ... oh man, when I'm bummed and low energy ... the last thing I want to do is prepare a tasty or healthy meal.

 

Come back and update us ...

 

Now on the other hand... the guys I did bake cookies for or a cake or tacos or some other food item... yeah they liked that. I agree... if he is uptight about the flowers then he isn't the one. In the future... stick to food items.

  • Author
Friendorfoe Member

Friendorfoe

Posted
  • Author
Posted

Yeah I’m cringing now ?

 

I know they’ve been delivered but he willl be at work so won’t know until he goes home. I feel like switching my phone off I feel that embarrassed now ?

Rayce Established Member

Rayce

Posted
Posted

Think positive about it. He must of been giving off ques that led you believe he would be ok with the gesture... so just go with that. He maybe the romantic type and really dig it.

Gaeta Established Member

Gaeta

Posted
Posted

I agree flowers wasn't the best of idea but I want to comment on the fact that you and him have only been on 3 dates over 2 months so sending flowers, or sending anything, was disproportionate to the relationship you have. A funny e-card would have been enough.

 

There is no amount of 'busy at work' that justifies 3 dates over 2 months unless you are long distance. For 2 years by boyfriend worked full time and went to night school full time, he was gone 16 hours a day, 6 days a week and he STILL found time for me on weekly basis so when I come across those thread about 'being very busy' I don't buy it.

  • Like 1
  • Author
Friendorfoe Member

Friendorfoe

Posted
  • Author
Posted
I agree flowers wasn't the best of idea but I want to comment on the fact that you and him have only been on 3 dates over 2 months so sending flowers, or sending anything, was disproportionate to the relationship you have. A funny e-card would have been enough.

 

There is no amount of 'busy at work' that justifies 3 dates over 2 months unless you are long distance. For 2 years by boyfriend worked full time and went to night school full time, he was gone 16 hours a day, 6 days a week and he STILL found time for me on weekly basis so when I come across those thread about 'being very busy' I don't buy it.

 

 

Totally get this. Thanks. 20 miles (an hours drive) apart, so not impossible. We have very strong work ethics, mine not so time driven now as I’ve reached the top of my career game and am where I want to be. He’s still reaching the top of his game and is very committed. Not an issue for me, I’ve been there and put the hard slog in and I’ve been nothing but supportive. He overthinks and I also think he might think he’s not good enough, when he is. He’s overworking and I can’t get through to him on that, he’s taking on freelance work too which he does in the evenings, so when he has an evening that has a spare couple of hours he needs downtime. I happily said I could drive to him (he doesn’t drive - anxiety stuff) but he said it would be no fun for me if he was miserable.

Anyway I’ve gone off topic. Yes 3 dates in 2 months but we have talked at length every day and built up a familiarity there. We are both independent and this is quite new so wasn’t expecting to see him all the time, we both knew we were having busy periods in our lives.

smackie9 Established Member

smackie9

Posted
Posted
I'm going to have to bookmark this one for future use.... :D

I made one for my husband out of a 12 bottles of Bud. (hah get it bud). It was decorated with pepperoni sticks (hotrods...he's a car guy). I used skewers, clear packing tape, styrofoam, a weighted bucket. Damn thing was heavy, but I managed to get it to look like a bouquet. I'm going to make him a 3 tier can beer cake, same idea as a diaper cake, for his 50th....wait maybe he should have a diaper cake lol....old fart.

  • Like 3
Pepsi38 Member

Pepsi38

Posted
Posted

People's views on how he may or may not react are just assumptions at this stage, I wouldn't waste time fretting about what's already done.

 

At best he'll be thankful and appreciate the gesture, at worst he may think it's OTT. If it turns him off completely (which I doubt), then is he worth it anyway? If he's in tune with you and whatever is going on between you, he'll understand the intention behind it. That would be my thinking.

 

Keep us posted!

  • Like 3
stillafool Established Member

stillafool

Posted
Posted

Everyone wants equality these days so IMO there was nothing wrong with sending flowers. Men like flowers also because I see them planting and pruning them. He should be grateful.

Rayce Established Member

Rayce

Posted
Posted
I made one for my husband out of a 12 bottles of Bud. (hah get it bud). It was decorated with pepperoni sticks (hotrods...he's a car guy). I used skewers, clear packing tape, styrofoam, a weighted bucket. Damn thing was heavy, but I managed to get it to look like a bouquet. I'm going to make him a 3 tier can beer cake, same idea as a diaper cake, for his 50th....wait maybe he should have a diaper cake lol....old fart.

 

Love it! I do this kind of stuff to guys I'm into. lol... the creative just comes out and I can't contain it... :p

Whodatdog Established Member

Whodatdog

Posted
Posted

Omg not flowers. I cant imagine how he even reacted. If I were you Id text him and say....OMG Im so sorry, the stupid shop sent you floweres instead of pizza and a 6 pack! I cant believe it! Im so sorry!

  • Like 1
 Share
Go to topic listing
×
×
  • Create New...