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This hot chick in my sub division. How to talk

bluesfan

By bluesfan
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Blanco Established Member

Blanco

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What about if she's actually 21?

 

It's still creepy. I'm about your age and can attest that there are some really beautiful women in that age range. But the differences in life experience, brain development, maturity levels, etc. are so different between your early twenties and even your late twenties.

 

I was at a bar a couple weeks back and these two girls were sitting nearby. They looked like they couldn't be more than a few months removed from being able to legally drink. This guy next to them, a bit tipsy, looking like he was probably mid to late 30s, tried to chat them up. I couldn't help but overhear bits and pieces and I felt creeped out for the girls' sake and embarrassed for his sake. They wound up turning down free shots from him and left soon after.

 

The above isn't a universal thing, but when barely-legal-drinking-age girls are turning down free booze, you know you've properly freaked them out.

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Blanco Established Member

Blanco

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Well, I don't act super shy like that if a 60 year old woman acknowledges me and I'll still hold a conversation with them. Of course I wouldn't ever date one but why would I be creeped out?

 

A 60-year-old woman probably isn't a potential physical threat to you if you reject her advances.

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Inspire Established Member

Inspire

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As I mentioned. Women in my age range don't show much interest or have much in common. It seems under 30 gives me more attention.

 

Most of us would assume "she isn't interested", you on the other hand automatically assume it must be her, that she must have some kind of social disorder. You're deep into creeper territory on this one.

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bluesfan Established Member

bluesfan

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It's still creepy. I'm about your age and can attest that there are some really beautiful women in that age range. But the differences in life experience, brain development, maturity levels, etc. are so different between your early twenties and even your late twenties.

 

I was at a bar a couple weeks back and these two girls were sitting nearby. They looked like they couldn't be more than a few months removed from being able to legally drink. This guy next to them, a bit tipsy, looking like he was probably mid to late 30s, tried to chat them up. I couldn't help but overhear bits and pieces and I felt creeped out for the girls' sake and embarrassed for his sake. They wound up turning down free shots from him and left soon after.

 

The above isn't a universal thing, but when barely-legal-drinking-age girls are turning down free booze, you know you've properly freaked them out.

 

 

What was he saying? Was he sounding like some of those guys from Hansen Vs Predator? Btw that's the re-creation of to catch a predator. What did they guy look like? Was he pervy and looked like a douche? Just trying to get a sense of the creep factor.

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preraph Established Member

preraph

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What about if she's actually 21?

 

Still too young and still too immature for you. At 21 guys who are 26 seem ancient. if you want to have any success in dating you need to get a lot closer to your own age.

The Outlaw Established Member

The Outlaw

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Listen to preraph. You may feel or think that women under 30 give you more attention, and that's because some do. Some younger women do like older men because in some cases, older men don't play around and know what they want or whatever. Despite what you think, you will still be better off with someone your own age if you keep trying. You can chat up this girl on occasion, but if she's giving you the same vibe every time you see her, she isn't interested.

basil67 Established Member

basil67

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Well, I don't act super shy like that if a 60 year old woman acknowledges me and I'll still hold a conversation with them. Of course I wouldn't ever date one but why would I be creeped out?

 

Probably because you know that the 60yo isn't a threat or trying to hit on you.

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Springsummer Established Member

Springsummer

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oh, well just make yourself super rich, then you can have women who can be your daughter or grand daughter.

 

like Oracle founder Larry, Mike Jaggar....

 

 

otherwise, if you are just an average joe, stop wasting your time.

basil67 Established Member

basil67

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Then how am I supposed to find out more about them and "get to know" them if i don't talk to people? Jeez.

 

As I mentioned. Women in my age range don't show much interest or have much in common. It seems under 30 gives me more attention.

 

The general rule of ick factor in age difference is based on "half your age plus 7". So if you're 35, the minimum age you should be looking at is around 24-25yo.

 

Avoid "getting to know" a woman who is 20yo.

Springsummer Established Member

Springsummer

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The general rule of ick factor in age difference is based on "half your age plus 7". So if you're 35, the minimum age you should be looking at is around 24-25yo.

 

Avoid "getting to know" a woman who is 20yo.

 

Rule only apply to average Joes.

 

Larry Ellision (74 vs 27), Mick Jaggar (73 vs 29)...take that!

Gretchen12 Established Member

Gretchen12

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There are couples where the woman is a lot younger. And men do see that around them. So sometimes men start to believe they can pursue a younger woman. But the reality with those couples you see is that it was the younger woman who pursued the older man. She may or may not be after his money. But it is always her choice, her initiative. That is the only way it can happen. The other way is molestation. OP, you don't have a choice here.

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healing light Established Member

healing light

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Oh, because young women, especially still in their teens, are well aware of how little encouragement it takes to an older guy to start leching on them, and they don't want to have to deal with it and really don't usually have the skills that young. She still lives with her parents. I mean, it's fairly universal that old guys will try to hit on young girls if they get any encouragement at all. This is knowledge all women by the time they're teens are aware of and most try to avoid.

 

She's trying to be polite but not friendly enough to encourage you, IMO

 

Bingo.

 

 

When I was that age, it was very difficult to deflect men and be "nice" at the same time (being nice was my priority), so my "no's" were indirect. I still a little feel weird about how to skirt interest without hurting someone's feelings.

 

If you really think that this woman could be on the spectrum, it only makes your interest in her more...suspect. You already have a significant age gap during a stage of life where there is a LOT of development, and if you go after someone who also emotionally or socially reminds you of a child, it makes it inappropriate on several levels.

 

I'd focus on a better prospect.

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bluesfan Established Member

bluesfan

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The general rule of ick factor in age difference is based on "half your age plus 7". So if you're 35, the minimum age you should be looking at is around 24-25yo.

 

 

 

That's generally who I message on match, etc if I can. I say if I can because on match, POF, OKC (OKC, POF mostly ugly white trash, waste of time btw) and Bumble except there are hardly any mid 20s girls on those websites. Very few around here for 50 mile radius but if they look decent, clean I do message those mid 20s range and generally have better reply rates and holding conversations with them. Their profiles also list less jargon as well and less focused on finances and possible gold digging.

 

 

I don't see a lot of women under 28 using the dating sites much. They generally still have their social circles from high school and college they're in contact with still.

 

 

I would love to find ones near my age, but again as I state they don't give me much attention like the younger women. I'm trying not to shave as much to maybe look a bit older and see if that helps. My profile pic I changed my main one and have some facial hair. Hopefully gets better reply rates with more age appropriate women.

 

 

So if women closer to my age don't have things in common or give me much attention, and younger ones do I should just stay single my whole life then is what you say???:rolleyes:

Ruby Slippers Established Member

Ruby Slippers

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There's nothing wrong with a mid-30s guy dating mid-20s women and up. But under 25 starts to get icky, teenage very icky.

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bluesfan Established Member

bluesfan

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There's nothing wrong with a mid-30s guy dating mid-20s women and up. But under 25 starts to get icky, teenage very icky.

 

 

Unless you're Billy Bob Thorton in Bad Santa who checkouts all the young girls in the mall lol. I guess I'll be that guy when I'm older ROFL.

basil67 Established Member

basil67

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Except if you are like an appalling fictional character, it won't be funny to anyone else.

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bluesfan Established Member

bluesfan

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Except if you are like an appalling fictional character, it won't be funny to anyone else.

 

 

That's what makes the movie so funny. Seriously if it was socially acceptable you would see older guys like that chasing younger girls.

Ruby Slippers Established Member

Ruby Slippers

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Even other dudes in the thread are telling you it's creepy. I guess creepers gonna creep. Watch your back, though, as a young girl's male relatives won't take kindly to it.

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preraph Established Member

preraph

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Unless you're Billy Bob Thorton in Bad Santa who checkouts all the young girls in the mall lol. I guess I'll be that guy when I'm older ROFL.

 

Well, no one ever said Billy Bob Thornton wasn't icky.

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bluesfan Established Member

bluesfan

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I just saw this thread on here. So it's okay for a late 30s guy to hangout with 20 yr old guys on vacation he's asking and everyone is pretty much telling him it's fine.

 

 

I'm a few years younger and want to get to know a girl probably around 20 better and everyone totally freaks out on me.:(

 

 

https://www.loveshack.org/forums/mind-body-soul/self-improvement-personal-well-being/686018-hanging-out-20-year-olds-when-your-32-holiday-weird

basil67 Established Member

basil67

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Yeah but you want to 'know' her in the biblical sense. It's totally different to having mates who are a different age

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BlondeSusane Member

BlondeSusane

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Well look at Trump. He always has liked younger women. Melania's age gap is greater than this right her. Listen to how he's talked in the past too.

 

 

It's normal for us guys to be attracted to younger women.

 

 

I mean, usually guys go for women younger than them, not the other way around.

10 years isn't too much of a difference, either way! I'm a 22 year old white girl (I'll be 23 next month) and my current boyfriend is a 34 year old black man. We have a seven month old son together and now I'm 10 weeks pregnant with another. We're both from rebound relationships. Just make sure that you're not as careless are we were ;) I'm pretty comfortable our relationship right now though.

CautiouslyOptimistic Established Member

CautiouslyOptimistic

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I just saw this thread on here. So it's okay for a late 30s guy to hangout with 20 yr old guys on vacation he's asking and everyone is pretty much telling him it's fine.

 

 

I'm a few years younger and want to get to know a girl probably around 20 better and everyone totally freaks out on me.:(

 

 

https://www.loveshack.org/forums/mind-body-soul/self-improvement-personal-well-being/686018-hanging-out-20-year-olds-when-your-32-holiday-weird

 

You've moved the needle to "20 or better" after you got flack about her being, probably, 18. And she probably IS 18.

JuneL Established Member

JuneL

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I just saw this thread on here. So it's okay for a late 30s guy to hangout with 20 yr old guys on vacation he's asking and everyone is pretty much telling him it's fine.

 

 

I'm a few years younger and want to get to know a girl probably around 20 better and everyone totally freaks out on me.:(

 

 

https://www.loveshack.org/forums/mind-body-soul/self-improvement-personal-well-being/686018-hanging-out-20-year-olds-when-your-32-holiday-weird

 

First, the guy was 32. More importantly, he didn’t creep out those 20-yo girls, but you did with this girl :laugh:

elaine567 Established Member

elaine567

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You've moved the needle to "20 or better" after you got flack about her being, probably, 18. And she probably IS 18.

 

Or even 15...

 

By her reaction to the OP, ie she acts like a 9 year old, she is probably very young and inexperienced or she is just not interested.

The OP is 35... 35 is "ancient" to that age group.

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