gimlynick Posted July 13, 2019 Posted July 13, 2019 Hey people, Just to vent out a little bit I have to put this on paper and hear from someone else that I have to move on So I meet this stunning girl somewhere in December, on a very drunk night ( nothing happens, but apparently we talked the whole night ) Next day I barely remember things, but I see we have shared all social media and phone numbers. I text her that I enjoyed it and that we should meet on a sober moment to get to know eachother ( she was drunk aswell ). TWO weeks later I get a reply 'sorry for this late reply, I am opening a business in the next weeks and I did not find time. I would love to get to know you better'. So we message a bit... And meet another 2 weeks later... Amazing date, good connection, but I did not feel like kissing her on our first date. This girl kinda feels to me like I really really want to try something serious with her. So the next weeks she opens her business and starts working 7/7... No time for meeting, some weeks we barely talk, but she is allways on my mind. On the rare occasions she has some time she meets friends and family, and when she drinks something she starts flirting with texts ( 'it would be so great to see you again / I wish you were here / blablabla' ). So one month ago she says I should come to her city for a nice date. I agree but in that week I do not have time ( I work in shifts ). The week after she has a business trip of one week so we agree to meet afterwards. During the trip she flirts daily with me and after the trip she says she will let me know when she can make it for a date. Another 14 days have gone without suggestion... Meanwhile I asked her out twice but allways getting a busy reply. What is this... I do not text her anymore, I got frustrated. I guess she just likes the attention but doesn't need anything more? I mean... If you even like someone a little bit you're not going to hang on to a guy for 4-5 months without dating him right? Thank you for reading, this text helps me to oversee the situation.
smackie9 Posted July 13, 2019 Posted July 13, 2019 You have been at this since December? Egad! move on already. She's been stringing you along like with a carrot on a stick.
newyorker11356 Posted July 13, 2019 Posted July 13, 2019 Since December? Dude, she's not into you lol. Either that - or she has zero time to date/doesn't want to date right now. 1
chillii Posted July 14, 2019 Posted July 14, 2019 Yeah and even if she wasn't it still looks at the very least like it just ain't meant to happen. l've found with anything in life but especially women, if it didn't wanna happen for whatever reason but you keep pushing it, it amounts to nothing in the end after all that anyway. 2
Foxhall Posted July 14, 2019 Posted July 14, 2019 Yes its just teasing you really, a lot of these "stunning girls" enjoy the attention too, baiting blokes but no substance behind it I would still try to keep her onside perhaps, like dont write her off completely but get out there spread your net wider anyway in the meantime, Im sure there are plenty more stunners within your range.
ExpatInItaly Posted July 14, 2019 Posted July 14, 2019 I hate to break it to you, OP, but you're a distraction for this woman when she's bored or lonely or wants a little attention. Forget trying to date her. It's pretty clearly not going to happen.
salparadise Posted July 14, 2019 Posted July 14, 2019 Since December? Dude, she's not into you lol. Either that - or she has zero time to date/doesn't want to date right now. It's not about time. Busy people make time for the priorities. She just sees him as an amusement, and gets validation from having total control over him. After eight months of zero, he still jumps. OP, get some dignity. Delete her from social media and move on. She's humiliating you. It's just a game to her.
Author gimlynick Posted July 14, 2019 Author Posted July 14, 2019 Thank you for your straight forward replies Just to be clear: I did not just wait for her. I dated woman and had a lot of fun with them. But somewhere in my mind there was this girl the whole time... I just have put her on a pedestal because I thought this was a perfect match and I did not see any flaws. I see clearly now that she is not flawless. But I am not sure if she is just craving for attention... I know a very good gay friend of her and he told me she was very excited about me. But that I have to be very patient with this girl, that many things have priorities for her and that a relation is not right now. Anyway, this is not the first girl from the 'stunning' range that I meet. The other ones were just not my type or future wife material and I made asap clear that I don't want anything serious ( and that way one of them started chasing me... Girls ). Time to put her off that pedestal, and if she wants me she can arrange the date. Thank you people 1
ExpatInItaly Posted July 14, 2019 Posted July 14, 2019 (edited) If I understand this correctly, you've only had one real date with her. What is it you're basing this assumption on? "I thought this was a perfect match and I did not see any flaws" You don't know her that well, so I think you are projecting based on very little real-life information about her and your potential compatibility. Sure, she might be a looker but that does not mean you two are a great match. Edited July 14, 2019 by ExpatInItaly 1
The Outlaw Posted July 14, 2019 Posted July 14, 2019 If she were into you, she'd made more of an effort for you than she did. Move on. 1
Author gimlynick Posted July 14, 2019 Author Posted July 14, 2019 If I understand this correctly, you've only had one real date with her. What is it you're basing this assumption on? "I thought this was a perfect match and I did not see any flaws" You don't know her that well, so I think you are projecting based on very little real-life information about her and your potential compatibility. Sure, she might be a looker but that does not mean you two are a great match. Well I know it is still not much, but the talking of the first night, and the 6 hour date, made me very comfortable and we share an amount of mutual interests that is unseen ( hobbies, travel minded, politics wise, cultural, nature,... ). Also about the future we both look in the same direction. I am approaching little by little my 30s ( we are same age ) and well I just don't meet new people anymore that share my interests, are this far in life ( fix job, own place, financial stable, do what they love,... ) and don't want kids in the next 3-5 years. So here everything was on the same line, and I am sure I drew her attention at first. I guess it slipped away somewhere, but that she still kept me as an 'ego boost'. And now offcourse it feels like I am a complete idiot for not seeing this like 4 months ago ( I actually saw it coming... Because of the irritation of not meeting her and with her busy schedule I quickly moved on. But then she crawled back heavily with flirting and asking for dates that never came... And I started thinking that she really was busy and really was interested in me ). I also made a 4 week trip in this period and I am leaving for another 8 week trip at the end of august... So I was thinking untill now that maybe she was unsure because of the travels. Stupid me :lmao:
preraph Posted July 14, 2019 Posted July 14, 2019 So buried in there like it didn't matter was that you two don't live in the same city. Sorry to break the news, but this is pretty much how long distance flirtations go. They don't get serious. She has a business there. I guess that means you'd have to relocate, which you wouldn't do unless you knew her, which you won't unless you move there and she still dates you. Why LDRs don't work. 1
ExpatInItaly Posted July 14, 2019 Posted July 14, 2019 I realize things looked good on paper, so to speak. But the truth is that you didn't spend enough time together to even know if you'd get along day-to-day, be sexually compatible, mesh well with each other's friends and family and so on. My point is that it's important not to get too far ahead of yourself and assume someone would be perfect for you before having spent ample time together in person. I would drop her as an option from your mind, and turn your attention towards women who reciprocate your interest and follow through in actually dating you.
Author gimlynick Posted July 14, 2019 Author Posted July 14, 2019 So buried in there like it didn't matter was that you two don't live in the same city. Sorry to break the news, but this is pretty much how long distance flirtations go. They don't get serious. She has a business there. I guess that means you'd have to relocate, which you wouldn't do unless you knew her, which you won't unless you move there and she still dates you. Why LDRs don't work. It's in another city, but here that only means 20k away. She lives actually further away from her business then her business is from me
Author gimlynick Posted July 14, 2019 Author Posted July 14, 2019 I realize things looked good on paper, so to speak. But the truth is that you didn't spend enough time together to even know if you'd get along day-to-day, be sexually compatible, mesh well with each other's friends and family and so on. My point is that it's important not to get too far ahead of yourself and assume someone would be perfect for you before having spent ample time together in person. I would drop her as an option from your mind, and turn your attention towards women who reciprocate your interest and follow through in actually dating you. I agree completely with you. It's too much in the mind, and there are still so much things that could go wrong even if we started dating properly. Well, like I said... 8 weeks travelling will give me some refreshment. This week has been horribly sad. Thank you for your invoice.
Gretchen12 Posted July 14, 2019 Posted July 14, 2019 You have already started having negative feelings months ago even while you were trying to see her again. A relationship will never develop under resentment. And that is why you should move on. I had a relationship start out very slow because of distance, obligations, schedule conflicts. We couldn't meet up for a long time but we never doubted each other's sincerity and we did not think poorly of each other's characters. We were frustrated with the situation but not with each other. And that's why we eventually became a couple. But I have to say I might not have the same trust and tolerance with another man in the same situation. There is no formula to follow. You just know how you feel. You don't feel right with this woman. Maybe some little things you sensed was not right.
I'veseenbetterlol Posted July 15, 2019 Posted July 15, 2019 Hey people, I text her that I enjoyed it and that we should meet on a sober moment to get to know eachother ( she was drunk aswell ). TWO weeks later I get a reply 'sorry for this late reply, I am opening a business in the next weeks and I did not find time. I would love to get to know you better'. This here. One time a guy took that long to respond to a text after cancelling our date. At that point I think I deleted his number. More then 1 day between texting (excusing serious emergencies or no access to service)=no interest.
Author gimlynick Posted July 16, 2019 Author Posted July 16, 2019 This here. One time a guy took that long to respond to a text after cancelling our date. At that point I think I deleted his number. More then 1 day between texting (excusing serious emergencies or no access to service)=no interest. Yeah I see what you mean. I guess she is just really not interested in a romantic relationship. I made clear that I am done with just having sex here and there and she focuses hard on her career that just started, maybe I scared her. Ah well, still feel **** about the situation. It's just once every one or two years that I feel like this for a girl that I meet, and now it was even better then ever ( maybe because I am getting a little bit frustrated by becoming older and seeing everyone around me settling down ). It starts feeling like I am failing hard in this subject of life ( hey, I am rocking the other subjects, so no worries ).
spiderowl Posted July 16, 2019 Posted July 16, 2019 She's not that interested at the moment. It is impossible to know whether she ever will be. If she was interested, she would be looking out for your texts. She would be answering within a reasonable time and she would take up opportunities to meet you. I think you need to let her come looking for you now. 1
Author gimlynick Posted July 17, 2019 Author Posted July 17, 2019 Soooo... I did not hear from her for like 10 days, and I felt like looking for some closure by having a small chat a last time. I just asked 'hey, how is your summer, it's been a while... ' and after her reply I would just have asked her if she wants to see me again ( this way I really have closure. I did it that way in the past and it helps me a lot to know I do not have the slightest chance anymore )... She said directly 'hey, it's crazy busy with work but if you are available tuesday I would love to take you with me to this festival' After all this time another date. I'm not someone who plays games, so I'll tell her I'm available ( advantage of shifts ). Let's go for it
Recommended Posts