Eternal Sunshine Posted July 15, 2019 Posted July 15, 2019 I guess people with little empathy may be drawn to medicine as a career, but when a person's whole working career is about dealing with illness, tragedy and death, then I guess the stocks of empathy run low for "normal" people too. If a person got emotionally involved with every patient, then they would literally go mad. "Distance" is the name of the game. People become numbers and diseases... The fact that lack of empathy may spill over to personal relationships is hardly surprising. True but it's a bad idea do be on a receiving end of this as a doctor's SO. I personally wouldn't date one. Also, when it comes to cheating...they exibit the most disgusting behaviour. Then slip right back into a "good husband" role, they dont even miss a beat.
Author sophiestic Posted July 15, 2019 Author Posted July 15, 2019 Thanks again guys for your replies! I cannot understand his behaviour. On the one hand, he is distant, lacks empathy and disappears. On the other hand, when we 're together he wants to cuddle, caress and talk a bit (mostly have sex). One day he asked me "Do you have feelings for me?" and I said "Of course I have, otherwise I wouldn't be with you. But do you have any for me?" and he answered "If I didn't, I wouldn't ask you"
geckojohn Posted July 17, 2019 Posted July 17, 2019 Does it feel good when you hook up with him? This is all he wants and if you are okay with that, then you should keep it going! Grind it out! In before the lock QUOTE=QueenSofia;7828682]Thanks again guys for your replies! I cannot understand his behaviour. On the one hand, he is distant, lacks empathy and disappears. On the other hand, when we 're together he wants to cuddle, caress and talk a bit (mostly have sex). One day he asked me "Do you have feelings for me?" and I said "Of course I have, otherwise I wouldn't be with you. But do you have any for me?" and he answered "If I didn't, I wouldn't ask you"
ExpatInItaly Posted July 17, 2019 Posted July 17, 2019 One day he asked me "Do you have feelings for me?" and I said "Of course I have, otherwise I wouldn't be with you. But do you have any for me?" and he answered "If I didn't, I wouldn't ask you" You need to open your eyes, Sofia. This guy knows exactly what to say to keep you coming back and having sex with him. If he's not taking you on dates, you're not more than a f-buddy to him. Only you can decide if that's fine for you, but judging by your thoughts in this thread, it's not what you really want. 1
elaine567 Posted July 17, 2019 Posted July 17, 2019 I cannot understand his behaviour. On the one hand, he is distant, lacks empathy and disappears. On the other hand, when we 're together he wants to cuddle, caress and talk a bit (mostly have sex). It's not difficult, he puts on the loving act when he wants cuddles and sex, once he gets what he wants, once satisfied, he doesn't need to do that any more so he is cold and distant. This is common behaviour by MM in affairs, it is called push/pull and can be a highly addictive manipulation technique. When he is cold and distant, you start to fear it is over and once he then contacts you and is loving and nice, your relief is intense. The cycle of fear and relief can be addicting. The highs are very high, the lows become very low. It may not be a deliberate attempt to manipulate you, it may just be a practical solution. He wants and needs sex and affection and you provide a convenient service for him by slotting in to his life without him having to spend time maintaining a real relationship. BUT he may indeed be married/attached. 1
kendahke Posted July 18, 2019 Posted July 18, 2019 Thank you for your replies, everyone! I appreciate it! Do you think f* buddies can turn into sth serious? And how? Stop holding out hope for this mess of a man. He doesn't see you as wife material, hence him asking you to stop by to service him. If he wasn't a doctor, would you be bothering with him? 1
kendahke Posted July 18, 2019 Posted July 18, 2019 One day he asked me "Do you have feelings for me?" and I said "Of course I have, otherwise I wouldn't be with you. But do you have any for me?" and he answered "If I didn't, I wouldn't ask you" That's called "mind-fking" 1
alphamale Posted July 18, 2019 Posted July 18, 2019 If he wasn't a doctor, would you be bothering with him? most likely not I would think 1
spiderowl Posted July 19, 2019 Posted July 19, 2019 Thanks again guys for your replies! I cannot understand his behaviour. On the one hand, he is distant, lacks empathy and disappears. On the other hand, when we 're together he wants to cuddle, caress and talk a bit (mostly have sex). One day he asked me "Do you have feelings for me?" and I said "Of course I have, otherwise I wouldn't be with you. But do you have any for me?" and he answered "If I didn't, I wouldn't ask you" Notice, he did not answer your question with a 'yes'. I know I am sceptical of this guy because of the way he is basically inviting you to join him in casual sex, but some guys really like their ego stroked and like to believe the girl is in love with him - even if he does not have the same feelings for her. Why ask you otherwise? 1
d0nnivain Posted July 19, 2019 Posted July 19, 2019 We teach people how to treat us. Doctors are generally smart people who learn quickly. You met off Tinder & had sex that 1st night. He calls, you come running, then you two have sex. At this point it's practically a Pavlovian response for you both. Minimal effort required on his part. But you have taught him he doesn't need to romance you to get sex from you. Thus because he is busy & interested in the path least resistance, he's not going to be buying you dinner. 2
alphamale Posted July 19, 2019 Posted July 19, 2019 Doctors are generally smart people who learn quickly. my dad is a retired physician and my little brother is an eye surgeon. they are both very smart in certain areas and totally dumb about other areas. my dad can't use a computer to save himself and my brother's kryptonite is women, last year he lost his medical license for 2 months because an ex patient of his sued him for sexual harassment (she was an attorney btw) 1
Foxhall Posted July 20, 2019 Posted July 20, 2019 My current experience of dating a lady Doctor is that she is quite focused on routine and planning, spontaneity in terms of arranging anything is not really happening, everything has to be pre-planned, in terms of arranging dates, a lot of notice is needed:D She has a lovely mild personality though that perhaps would be untypical of an average Doctor, I am unsure if she is my future wife but she is growing on me. 1
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