JuneL Posted July 13, 2019 Posted July 13, 2019 The guy doesn’t sound like long-term material anyway. Why don’t you just enjoy the hot sex before you get tired at him? 1
Interstellar Posted July 13, 2019 Posted July 13, 2019 Another strange thing is that he keeps asking me about previous lovers while we have sex and that he wants another person to watch us while we do it. :laugh: Theoretically, that kind of thing should only come out after 50 years of marriage and you want to spice up your....life, have fun/try something new, not with someone you just started dating. Drop him. He’s just using you. 2
Ruby Slippers Posted July 13, 2019 Posted July 13, 2019 I will try to be less available, however, he demands that I be ready to meet whenever he tells me to (so wtf? do I not have a life and other things to do? who do u think u r?) Who cares what he demands? You're not a slave. Unless you choose to be. If you want to continue submitting yourself to his demands for whatever perceived benefits, it's your choice. But how are you benefitting here? It appears to me you're wasting your youth & beauty on a guy who sees you as a booty call. You could be dating someone genuine who would enjoy making it clear to you what a good husband and father he'll be. 3
alphamale Posted July 13, 2019 Posted July 13, 2019 I don't think he has free time to take her out everyone makes time for a good meal....ya gotta eat 1
Author sophiestic Posted July 13, 2019 Author Posted July 13, 2019 Guys, do you think men change? (without you changing them..)
elaine567 Posted July 13, 2019 Posted July 13, 2019 Guys, do you think men change? (without you changing them..) They only change if they want to change, and you can't change them, unless they want to change.
lana-banana Posted July 13, 2019 Posted July 13, 2019 The doctor thing is an excuse. My friend just married a doctor who is also the head of a department. Is he super busy? Absolutely. But he also works his ass off to put her first and she has never once doubted how much he adores her. He also manages to take her out on a pretty regular basis. Being possessive doesn't mean being in love. This guy just wants steady, convenient, sex on demand. He's not going to change unless he wants to. 2
Ruby Slippers Posted July 13, 2019 Posted July 13, 2019 If you're a booty call to a guy, he'll never see you as wife material. Wife material would expect and demand a lot more than you are and she'd get it. No offense. I just hate to see you wasting your time. In the future, to avoid being treated like a booty call, don't have such a low standard for sex. Unless you truly are happy with sex only - and few women are - set a higher standard. 2
alphamale Posted July 13, 2019 Posted July 13, 2019 Guys, do you think men change? (without you changing them..) only when something major happens in their life like the death of a parent or losing all their money
Springsummer Posted July 14, 2019 Posted July 14, 2019 The doctor thing is an excuse. My friend just married a doctor who is also the head of a department. Is he super busy? Absolutely. But he also works his ass off to put her first and she has never once doubted how much he adores her. He also manages to take her out on a pretty regular basis. Being possessive doesn't mean being in love. This guy just wants steady, convenient, sex on demand. He's not going to change unless he wants to. I am wondering what kind of person is your friend? to have such power over someone like her hubby? probably very beautiful and very accomplished as well.
spiderowl Posted July 14, 2019 Posted July 14, 2019 (edited) He sounds married or already attached. It also sounds like he is trying to satisfy his sexual quirks (wanting someone else to watch) outside of his marriage. I feel this is just about sex for him, whatever he says. Is he available at weekends? Does he only tend to chat with you late at night or during the daytime? Married men are rarely available at weekends and they wait until the wife has gone to bed before trying to chat. Honestly, this does not sound right. I think you need to test his commitment to you. Become less available on hidden media (e.g. instead of chatting to him via an encrypted app, text him using his mobile number. Ask if you can phone him when he is not working). Do not meet with him unless he takes you out somewhere and make sure it is fairly public, i.e. the kind of place where someone who knows him might spot him. If he is married, he will resist all attempts to be upfront with you and to see you in pubic anywhere. I think you deserve better than this weird, self-service guy. Edited July 14, 2019 by spiderowl 1
BaileyB Posted July 14, 2019 Posted July 14, 2019 I am wondering what kind of person is your friend? to have such power over someone like her hubby? probably very beautiful and very accomplished as well. What Lana-banana described is actually just a mature, healthy relationship between two people who love, respect, and are kind and considerate towards each other’s needs... Go figure. There is no special power and one doesn’t have to be exceedingly beautiful or accomplished to find that. She just has to pick the right partner... 4
Burning Posted July 14, 2019 Posted July 14, 2019 So I have been "dating" a doctor who works at a hospital long hours. He has crazy shifts, he teaches at University and also trains EMTs. We met 6 months ago on Tinder. We went to a bar near the hospital and we just clicked and had sex on the 1st night (is this bad? I hadn't done this before!) The next time we met at his place. The chemistry was crazy! Sex 1st date? No offense but it's a good way to send a message to a guy you're easy. Particularly when, by the sounds of it, the second time you didn't even have a proper date he just called you to his place for a fk. He was leaving for Chicago for a training that he had to do, so for 2 weeks we didn't see each other, but we chatted. He told me that he wants me as "his woman" ....weird! It was way too soon. Also he was jealous that I was at the gym and angry because I didn't text him one day (although i had and he hadn't answered) Another strange thing is that he keeps asking me about previous lovers while we have sex and that he wants another person to watch us while we do it. Want I wanna know is why women/men who jump readily into the sack wonder why the people sometimes turn out to be weirdos. It's like a business hiring the first person who walks through their doors right off the street - no interview, no screening, but hey buddy you gotta job - wondering why the hiree an't working out. He returned from his trip and I went to see him during his shift. We slept together.... and since that day we only meet at his place or the hospital. We don't go out, he doesn't make any plans and he doesn't call. We only chat on viber but not everyday. So I guess we're just f* buddies. On the other hand, he told me that he doesn't want just sex. I mean what is wrong with the guy? I 'm so confused Why exactly are you confused? From the sounds of it you had one proper date which ended in sex. Are you expecting a proper relationship or something? You set yourself up as a f**k buddy from day 1. You enforced that concept the 2nd "date". To be blunt he's a player - possibly even married - and his claims he "wants a relationship" are just pretty little words to lead you along so he can have sex. I mean if you wanted a relationship why haven't you said hey buddy boy let's go on a date instead of dropping everything and running over to his place anytime he's got an itch that needs scratching. 5
ExpatInItaly Posted July 14, 2019 Posted July 14, 2019 You're his f-buddy, OP. He treats you like a toy, and thus far, you've been allowing it. This is purely about sex for him, and he seems to think you're malleable enough to keep going along with his demands. You're not going to become his girlfriend, so if that's the sort of relationship you want, you need to go elsewhere. 1
preraph Posted July 14, 2019 Posted July 14, 2019 You can't change other people. No one really changes much. If they do, it's over a long time and for their own reasons.
Author sophiestic Posted July 14, 2019 Author Posted July 14, 2019 Thank you for your replies, everyone! I appreciate it! Do you think f* buddies can turn into sth serious? And how?
smackie9 Posted July 14, 2019 Posted July 14, 2019 Thank you for your replies, everyone! I appreciate it! Do you think f* buddies can turn into sth serious? And how? He doesn't see you as relationship material, and doesn't respect you in that way, so no most likely not.
ExpatInItaly Posted July 14, 2019 Posted July 14, 2019 Do you think f* buddies can turn into sth serious? And how? Not with a guy like this, no. He more than likely pursued you as a bed-buddy because he doesn't see you as girlfriend material for him. And that's not a shot at you; I am not sure why you'd want to be serious with a man like this, beyond the status of being a doctor's girlfriend. He isn't boyfriend material for you, OP, trust me on that. He doesn't respect you enough. 1
Eternal Sunshine Posted July 14, 2019 Posted July 14, 2019 Doctors (actually surgerons) are more likely to be psychopaths than any other occupation, repeated research suggests. A male doctor doesn't need Tinder unless he is looking for a high volume of F buddies. 2
alphamale Posted July 14, 2019 Posted July 14, 2019 Doctors (actually surgerons) are more likely to be psychopaths than any other occupation, repeated research suggests. yep I would agree with that. I've been around physicians since I was born. Lots of alcoholism, drug abuse, suicide, skirt chasing, infidelity, et al 1
Springsummer Posted July 14, 2019 Posted July 14, 2019 Holy...any people were very shocked in Canada when a respected/famed neurosurgeon killed his doctor wife and dumped her body in a suite case. you know, how can such highly trained and well paid doctor do such a thing? I couldn't comprehend either. you can google to see the details. 1
alphamale Posted July 14, 2019 Posted July 14, 2019 you know, how can such highly trained and well paid doctor do such a thing? I couldn't comprehend either. . well Ss, any people aspire to high places tend to be more neurotic than the average person. Doctors, lawyers, CEOs, Presidents, are all very driven to be successful and have a personality type that is abnormal. the lastest example is Jeffrey Epstein...Trump is another example 3
spiderowl Posted July 14, 2019 Posted July 14, 2019 Doctors (actually surgerons) are more likely to be psychopaths than any other occupation, repeated research suggests. A male doctor doesn't need Tinder unless he is looking for a high volume of F buddies. Sadly, I have to agree with this. I did date a doctor and found he was very good at faking empathy (probably due to his professional approach) but did not appear to feel an ounce of it. I should have seen the signs. As it was, I got burnt. I nearly met up with another doctor (again a surgeon) but this time I was looking for signs of empathy. He was just trying to push the boundaries before we even met. I dropped out of that meeting and I am glad I did. I am sure not all surgeons are psychopaths or heartless, but it is something to look out for. Your guy has not given any indication he cares about your feelings yet, only that he cares about his own. He is not dating you properly or respectfully. 1
LoveFiend Posted July 15, 2019 Posted July 15, 2019 (edited) You are to him just a toy to bang for kicks, nothing more. He is a rich doctor he can buy any girl he wants. He has other girls besides you he is messing around. Like your instints are telling you he wants a fbuddy. the escorts and strippers I have seen tell me most of there clients who spend a lot on them outside clubs in hotel rooms are wealthy men. They have told me a lot of their customers are doctors and lawyers. They can buy whatever girl they wish. Edited July 15, 2019 by LoveFiend
elaine567 Posted July 15, 2019 Posted July 15, 2019 I guess people with little empathy may be drawn to medicine as a career, but when a person's whole working career is about dealing with illness, tragedy and death, then I guess the stocks of empathy run low for "normal" people too. If a person got emotionally involved with every patient, then they would literally go mad. "Distance" is the name of the game. People become numbers and diseases... The fact that lack of empathy may spill over to personal relationships is hardly surprising. 1
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