sophiestic Posted July 13, 2019 Posted July 13, 2019 So I have been "dating" a doctor who works at a hospital long hours. He has crazy shifts, he teaches at University and also trains EMTs. We met 6 months ago on Tinder. We went to a bar near the hospital and we just clicked and had sex on the 1st night (is this bad? I hadn't done this before!) The next time we met at his place. The chemistry was crazy! He was leaving for Chicago for a training that he had to do, so for 2 weeks we didn't see each other, but we chatted. He told me that he wants me as "his woman" ....weird! It was way too soon. Also he was jealous that I was at the gym and angry because I didn't text him one day (although i had and he hadn't answered) Another strange thing is that he keeps asking me about previous lovers while we have sex and that he wants another person to watch us while we do it. He returned from his trip and I went to see him during his shift. We slept together.... and since that day we only meet at his place or the hospital. We don't go out, he doesn't make any plans and he doesn't call. We only chat on viber but not everyday. So I guess we're just f* buddies. On the other hand, he told me that he doesn't want just sex. I mean what is wrong with the guy? I 'm so confused
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted July 13, 2019 Posted July 13, 2019 Married maybe? He kinda sounds like a jerk. 1
Ruby Slippers Posted July 13, 2019 Posted July 13, 2019 You're having sex with him without dates or even phone calls, so you're letting him use you as a F buddy. 5
alphamale Posted July 13, 2019 Posted July 13, 2019 doctors are notorious for doing this sort of sh*t with women. my bro is a doctor and he has a new gf every 2 weeks, he also likes to juggle 4 or 5 girls at the same time 2
Author sophiestic Posted July 13, 2019 Author Posted July 13, 2019 Married maybe? He kinda sounds like a jerk. He isn't married, that's for sure. I know this from a valid source! Plus, he doesn't have photos at his place. 1
Author sophiestic Posted July 13, 2019 Author Posted July 13, 2019 doctors are notorious for doing this sort of sh*t with women. my bro is a doctor and he has a new gf every 2 weeks, he also likes to juggle 4 or 5 girls at the same time Maybe he does the same. But I know that he doesn't have enough free time, so how can he do this? Also, I had broken up with him for 2 months and he came back because he said that he wants me and he had the best sex with me etc... I'm not sure if I believe him. Now we're "back" but he does the same... 3 or 4 days pass without a message.
salparadise Posted July 13, 2019 Posted July 13, 2019 Tinder. We went to a bar near the hospital and we just clicked and had sex on the 1st night [...] The chemistry was crazy! Interesting how chemistry is affected by the letters M.D. isn't it? Have you ever met up just to be social, not to phukk? Interesting choice of words... "his woman." Did you ever ask what that means? Does he ever take you out to breakfast?
Author sophiestic Posted July 13, 2019 Author Posted July 13, 2019 Interesting how chemistry is affected by the letters M.D. isn't it? Have you ever met up just to be social, not to phukk? Interesting choice of words... "his woman." Did you ever ask what that means? Does he ever take you out to breakfast? Funny thing is I hate doctors, haha! I just like his energy and our chemistry. He has never suggested going out just to be social, I don't think we could meet without having sex.
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted July 13, 2019 Posted July 13, 2019 I don't think we could meet without having sex. Pretty sure you could if you tried hard enough. 3
BaileyB Posted July 13, 2019 Posted July 13, 2019 Also he was jealous that I was at the gym and angry because I didn't text him one day (although i had and he hadn't answered) Another strange thing is that he keeps asking me about previous lovers while we have sex and that he wants another person to watch us while we do it. Ick is right! You have a jealous, possessive man who thinks he is entitled to have you at his beck and call to fullfil his sexual fetishes - and he gets angry when you are not.... yeah, he sounds like a total jerk. So I guess we're just f* buddies. On the other hand, he told me that he doesn't want just sex. That seems to be the case. His words may say one thing but his actions say something entirely different... come to think of it, his words actually say that too. 3
salparadise Posted July 13, 2019 Posted July 13, 2019 Funny thing is I hate doctors, haha! I just like his energy and our chemistry. He has never suggested going out just to be social, I don't think we could meet without having sex. One of the questions on OKC is, "Is it possible to love someone you don't even like?" I'm always interested to see how people answer that. Most say no, but I say yes. Do you like him? So, it's unclear exactly what you're asking when you say, "what is wrong with the guy?" Do you not understand his motivation? Is the goal to convert this into a full relationship? Are you wondering is that's what it is? Surely you aren't assuming that if he likes the sex he would autoatically do xyz? As much as I hate games and such, I think you need to be a little less available if you want this to be more than as you say, f* buddies. The guy is doing the least amount possible to get his jollies, which with your full cooperation is exactly zero. What you don't know is whether he'd make some effort if it were required. Did your mamma not give you the memo? 2
Author sophiestic Posted July 13, 2019 Author Posted July 13, 2019 One of the questions on OKC is, "Is it possible to love someone you don't even like?" I'm always interested to see how people answer that. Most say no, but I say yes. Do you like him? So, it's unclear exactly what you're asking when you say, "what is wrong with the guy?" Do you not understand his motivation? Is the goal to convert this into a full relationship? Are you wondering is that's what it is? Surely you aren't assuming that if he likes the sex he would autoatically do xyz? As much as I hate games and such, I think you need to be a little less available if you want this to be more than as you say, f* buddies. The guy is doing the least amount possible to get his jollies, which with your full cooperation is exactly zero. What you don't know is whether he'd make some effort if it were required. Did your mamma not give you the memo? Although I don't like his job, I do like him! He was the one who mentioned being exclusive in the beginning and having me for his own, so i thought we would have a normal relationship. But when he returned from his trip, he was extremely busy, he worked long shifts etc and we didn't meet often or chat. I will try to be less available, however, he demands that I be ready to meet whenever he tells me to (so wtf? do I not have a life and other things to do? who do u think u r?)
chillii Posted July 13, 2019 Posted July 13, 2019 Always beats me why women are suppose to go for doctors , l mean this will be life with a doctor . l can't stand my women too busy and ran of her feet you can't have a life or a relationship , wtf would a woman want 5x worse than that with a doctor. 1
mortensorchid Posted July 13, 2019 Posted July 13, 2019 First, doctors usually are a******s, especially surgeons if he is one. The have a God complex and are arrogant as hell. Second and that fact aside, being a doctor is a busy job - whether you are working crazy hours or if you are doing other things other than seeing patients (traveling, conferences, presentations of research, etc.). Third, doctors, like truck drivers, musicians, salesmen, etc. who have jobs that require a lot of travel, often times catch love / lust on the side. And fourth and probably most important, you met him on Tinder. Yes, there are people out there who will meet others with the intention of looking for a relationship rather than just a hookup, but it was designed for hookups. I would move on. 2
BaileyB Posted July 13, 2019 Posted July 13, 2019 I will try to be less available, however, he demands that I be ready to meet whenever he tells me to (so wtf? do I not have a life and other things to do? who do u think u r?) This kind of entitled behavior makes the hair on the back of my neck stand up. This type of controlling behavior is not likely to get better with time OP. He was the one who mentioned being exclusive in the beginning and having me for his own, so i thought we would have a normal relationship. He asked you to be exclusive and you assumed he wanted a relationship and was willing to put in the effort to have a relationship with you. Wrong. Apparently, if you pay attention to his actions, he basically wanted to lock you down such that you were not going to date or have sex with other men. That’s about all... Did you talk about what you both wanted for a relationship, did he tell you he would also be exclusive, what was he willing to do to make this work - because this relationship seems a little one sided... 1
Gretchen12 Posted July 13, 2019 Posted July 13, 2019 Don't you find him to be a boring person when all he can do is have sex? There is nothing more to him. No text, no dates, **yawn*** He is an empty shell. Don't assume he has a personality if only he'll share. It is more likely he has no humor, no interesting thoughts, no feelings, nothing to share. This is what's wrong with him. And it is becoming more and more obvious as sex starts to get boring too because he is boring. 2
BaileyB Posted July 13, 2019 Posted July 13, 2019 Always beats me why women are suppose to go for doctors , l mean this will be life with a doctor. I have a friend who married a doctor. When they met, she thought he was just dreamy... Now, all she does is complain about how she is raising their two children as a single parent and how isolated and depressed she feels... Be careful what you wish for... 3
Author sophiestic Posted July 13, 2019 Author Posted July 13, 2019 First, doctors usually are a******s, especially surgeons if he is one. The have a God complex and are arrogant as hell. Second and that fact aside, being a doctor is a busy job - whether you are working crazy hours or if you are doing other things other than seeing patients (traveling, conferences, presentations of research, etc.). Third, doctors, like truck drivers, musicians, salesmen, etc. who have jobs that require a lot of travel, often times catch love / lust on the side. And fourth and probably most important, you met him on Tinder. Yes, there are people out there who will meet others with the intention of looking for a relationship rather than just a hookup, but it was designed for hookups. I would move on. He is an anaesthesiologist who is also head of the ER department. Probably you're right, he as a God complex or he might be a narcissist! When we met he wanted us to delete Tinder and so we did. So I thought we would have a relationship
littleblackheart Posted July 13, 2019 Posted July 13, 2019 Not sure your present situation has anything to do with his profession, tbh. My close friend is a medic (not as busy as your guy, though) and in a steady, mutually beneficial relationship. Your guy has made his intentions clear; it's one of those 'take it or leave it' situations. 1
BaileyB Posted July 13, 2019 Posted July 13, 2019 Your guy has made his intentions clear; it's one of those 'take it or leave it' situations. Well said. To say it another way, his intentions clearly show that it’s “my way or the highway...” 1
alphamale Posted July 13, 2019 Posted July 13, 2019 Interesting how chemistry is affected by the letters M.D. isn't it?? money is the greatest aphrodisiac
alphamale Posted July 13, 2019 Posted July 13, 2019 I have a friend who married a doctor. When they met, she thought he was just dreamy... Now, all she does is complain about how she is raising their two children as a single parent and how isolated and depressed she feels...Be careful what you wish for... well, at least she eats at the best restaurants
preraph Posted July 13, 2019 Posted July 13, 2019 I don't like his temperament or his kinks. If he is treating you like an F buddy, then he doesn't also get to be controlling and jealous and get mad if you go to the gym, that's for sure. But neither should he do those things if you were committed, so. . . can't say I'm impressed with the guy at all. 1
BaileyB Posted July 13, 2019 Posted July 13, 2019 well, at least she eats at the best restaurants And they are building a beautiful, BIG, brand new home on the river...
Author sophiestic Posted July 13, 2019 Author Posted July 13, 2019 well, at least she eats at the best restaurants I don't think he has free time to take her out
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