I went on a date with my ex and he kissed me, what next if I want him back?

[Brittcap26]

My ex came back around about a month or so and was pursuing me and asked me to meet up - we had a great time and I didn’t bring up the break up. He started texting me more and would continuously ask me out but I was busy, then we hung out again and had another great time together. He held me and kissed me at the end of the night and asked if we’d do this again. The next week I went on vacation to Europe and we didn’t text that whole time. Before I left he said “have a safe flight”. I’m going back home tomorrow- should I text him? I want to continue texting and hanging because I want to get back together. What should I say when I text him?

If anyone has similar stories please share

[basil67]

Brittcap, it could also be that he wants sex-with-the-ex and not to get back together with you.

 

But first things first, who broke up with who? What was the reason? Why do you think that it could work out if you tried again? Has he given any indication that he wants to try again?

[Brittcap26]

I don’t think so, he was at my place and was very respectable - I’m sure if that was the case he would have already gone farther.

 

He broke up with me because he was about to lose his job and he needed to take a step back. He is now in a better, more successful place in his career. It could work out because we want the same things in life, fit into each other’s lives great and he’s in a better place. We had a good relationship.

He has given indications about talking about my parents and how they feel about him and he told me he missed talking to me, etc and he’d talk about the good times we had so that could be an indication. It’s just the beginning stages of reconnecting - that’s why I wonder what to do next

[basil67]

My concern is that it could all go well until he hits his next life glitch. Don't you want a guy who comes to you when life is tough instead of pushing you away?

 

At any rate, as he's the one who ended it, it's up to him to reconcile. He's got to work for it, show he's determined and win back your trust. In short, don't do anything other than be very, very wary.

[elaine567]

He broke up with you.

Dumpers can be friends with dumpees all day and all night, it doesn't however mean they want to get them back.

To men, "friends" may include sex and making a FWB out of an ex is not uncommon. A study showed "access to potential sex" was the top reason men stayed friends with exes.

 

Be careful, women, especially dumped women tend to be all about hearts and flowers and true love, men may see it differently.

"I saw no future, I dumped her, the hot babes are not running in my direction, she is still besotted, maybe I could pick her up again till something better comes along..."

 

Stop writing the love story, realise talking is easy, and step back and observe his actions.

[Inspire]

How long were you two dating before you broke up? How did he break up with you?

[whichwayisup]

I don’t think so, he was at my place and was very respectable - I’m sure if that was the case he would have already gone farther.

 

He broke up with me because he was about to lose his job and he needed to take a step back. He is now in a better, more successful place in his career. It could work out because we want the same things in life, fit into each other’s lives great and he’s in a better place. We had a good relationship.

He has given indications about talking about my parents and how they feel about him and he told me he missed talking to me, etc and he’d talk about the good times we had so that could be an indication. It’s just the beginning stages of reconnecting - that’s why I wonder what to do next

 

Be honest and talk to him about how you feel, and where his head is at now. If meeting up is just as a friend to friend thing or does he want to rekindle the relationship. You have a right to know. Don't assume anything and don't read between the lines. Be direct! This is your life too and if he is thinking of getting back together with you he needs to say it and not hint at it.

[spiderowl]

I would be very wary if he broke up with you. If he did it once, he can do it again. I agree with other posters, he should have to win you back and make a real effort for you. Don't make it easy for him. If you do, he will think he can drop you as and when he wishes and you will come back.

[Highndry]

I have a few questions:

 

How old is he?

How long ago was the breakup?

How long were you together?

 

My opinion is that if he truly broke up to get his life in better order so that he could be a better partner and provider, then that's an ideal situation to get back together.

 

If I try to imagine a situation where I was going to experience job loss or financial insecurity, I'm not sure I'd want to be in a relationship at that time, either. Like they say, "when poverty walks in the door, love flies out the window."

[stillafool]

Just remember OP there's a big difference between asking to "meet up" and asking to "get back together.

[anika99]

How old are you? Why haven't you and your ex had an open and honest conversation about his and your expectations? I don't understand all of this playing coy. He dumped you and now he has walked back into your life while making vague statements about missing you but not clearly spelling out his intentions and you are playing along.

 

No, that's not acceptable. This isn't a brand new relationship where you two are just getting to know each other. This is a guy who already broke up with you and once a person dumps you it is highly likely they will do it again. This guy needs to lay all his cards on the table, tell you exactly what his intentions are and if his intentions are to be in a relationship with you then he needs to explain to you why it will be different this time and demonstrate that he is being serious and authentic BEFORE you hand your heart over to him again.

 

Right now the 2 of you are being coy and playing games instead of communicating honestly.